Come to Orlando the Easter long weekend! Or plan your own sexy vacation.

The ducklings are going off to Orlando Florida over the Easter weekend April 5-10 we wanna invite you having a sexy vacation with your partner is really important.


As a therapist I say to people you need a weekly date night or at least a check in where you have time to touch each other do you want to have a monthly day trip or a longer date a quarterly overnight date and at least one week together a year preferably two.

We do ours in long weekends throughout the year
When you ask people what they remember about their life they talk about vacations having different times with your partner makes it feel special and magical I talk to a lot of people about what are you doing to connect and have you taken the time to connect with your partner certainly inviting you to join us in April over the Easter weekend in Orlando I think it’s going to be epic.


If you’re not coming with us consider going through the steps to figure out how do you make a sexy vacation I like clothing optional resorts but that’s not for everybody
On my site playfulcoconuts.com I have a list of all the crazy sexy places we visited.


Even if it’s an introverted dream isolated somewhere where you’re just together figure out what’s important for the two of you and make it happen life is short it’s time to wear your party pants and have some time together whatever your budget.

The Pervy Book Club! Join us!

Hey all!

There are lots of regular book clubs & they are great. But we need a pervy, erotic, sensuous club! This is NOT your Mother’s book club.

We are going to give this a try a new, FREE book club of smutty books! I’ll provide you the books.I hope it develops a life of its own. 

For right now let’s just build community in the winter months over ZOOM. We can meet in person in the warmer weather. 

First night is 7 pm, Feb 5th. Let’s give it a try!

Here is the first book. It’s called “The House of Holes”. Send me a note and I’ll forward you the information.

“ Find yourself in the fantasy world of sexual desires in House of Holes. Imagine reading a sinful and erotic Alice in Wonderland, this book is about how ordinary people get sucked into an alternate world from their drinking straws or the dryers in laundromats.”

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The five things I tell my single’s boot camp participants.

I do this Boot Camp for singles it’s hard to get past all your difficulties in the past where are you stuck why do you keep picking the same person over and over again are you too picky do you keep choosing your father or are you taking too much are you a doormat are you serve one and done and only get a first date over and over again are you too standoffis.


Are you waiting until you lose weight or get a new job in order to date you find that nobody meets your standards or expectations are you constantly disappointed let’s figure out what past things are keeping you stuck as it were doing in the the singles Boot Camp but one of the biggest things that I do as a therapist is just to tell people it’s OK I like groups because it allows people to talk support each other and realize that they’re not alone


But it’s also for me to say it’s OK for you to be single it’s OK for you to tell people you’re looking for a relationship it’s OK to ask for blind dates I think half of what I do is just validating people that it’s OK to be in the space if you want to change it you are not gonna do it by staying at home on Netflix bingeing.

But there are ways to help hear the five things that we are doing to make a difference number when we do something called the checklist at the end of three dates there’s a study that said 59% of people need a minimum of three dates to lower their guard and actually show the real them the real you.

By the third date you’ve needed to ask some questions you know the goal is is can you see you know to find this person attractive are you interested enough to have a second or third date but by the end of the third day you need to know what’s going on.

Two. You need to have a pretty clear understanding of the vision you want if it’s happily ever after in a picket fence hang onto that no matter how attractive somebody who’s just looking for something casual is hang onto your vision number three get a selection committee sometimes our past gets in the way of us making good decisions have people that love you and support you who can meet somebody new in your life.

Ask people around you what in fairness you need to work on where are you stuck because your best qualities are often your worst qualities you’re really giving but that means you give too much or you’re super independent which means you don’t have time for a relationship figure out what that is part of that that your friends family coworkers may have some insight into

Number five don’t be afraid to cut people off but always have at least two or three conversations in the works you wanna be meeting one to two people a week if you’re having trouble with that that’s where groups like mine the ducklings in the over 40 cannot help you generate all kinds of options of options


Don’t be afraid to cut people off but always have at least two or three conversations in the works you wanna be meeting 1 to 2 people a week if you’re having trouble with that that’s where groups like mine have the ducklings in the over 40 connect help you generate all kinds of options
Dating it’s been broken for a while we’re all trying new ways to fix it.

These five tips are just the start, so even if you feel like you’re stuck, give yourself a chance to really break through, look at these areas and see what you can do to start being more intentional about going out and dating. So, what are you waiting for? Go for it and make your dting dreams come to life!

Are you following the lucky girl trend? It’s really about loving yourself!

Do You Struggle With Loving Yourself, Even During Sex?

Do you have difficulty enjoying sex, even with yourself? Do you struggle with loving yourself, and feeling truly connected to your own body, even during intimate moments? Whether it’s in your relationships or solo, it can be hard to stay focused on the pleasure and sensations of sex when you don’t feel safe and secure in your own sense of self-love.


As sex therapists, we often hear stories from clients who feel isolated from their own bodies, disconnected from the experience of sex, and unable to really let go and feel pleasure. Many clients are surprised to find that their inability to fully embody their physical presence and tap into their own sensual energy stems from a lack of self-love.

Often, when we don’t feel good enough, worthy enough, or capable enough to reach our goals, we tend to project those feelings onto whoever we’re in a relationship with, or interacting with – including ourselves. We can use sex as a way to release our frustration, anger or sadness because it’s uncomfortable or even scary to process our feelings in a different way. But this usually leads to detachment and a complete lack of pleasure and connection. We may even do this unconsciously, yet still feel the repercussions.

So how do we repair this disconnect, and learn to truly love ourselves – even during intimate moments or when we’re engaging in

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2023 New Year’s Sex Resolutions.

An interesting way to try something new in the bedroom is to recreate tourist destinations closer to home. Have a look at YouTube videos to get ideas and avoid any trouble! Additionally, having sex outside of intercourse, being playful and even creating a sex bucket list are also great ideas. In terms of activities to try in 2023, consider having sex in eco friendly ways e.g. using glass or metal sex toys. Be sure to finish with lots of cuddling and intimacy.

As the new year approaches, it’s the perfect time to plan and set some sexual resolutions. For example, talk about sex more frequently and make sure your partner feels wanted and desired. Sexting and exploring new ways of foreplay can add to the excitement. Furthermore, become clearer with your wants and needs when it comes to sex.

If you need more help, you can always get in touch with a clinical sex therapist such as Sue McGarvie. The important part is to talk about it and make sure the sexual experience is enjoyable and safe for both partners.

Is dating a challenge for you? Do you feel stuck being single?

It’s okay to be alone. It’s not okay to feel like it’s always going to be that way.

Once upon a time there was someone alone and struggling with finding a quality relationship. 

By figuring out what is your share in past relationships and learning the tools to connect with new, quality people the possibility of a new relationship seemed brighter. 

Let’s get into this. You will get the most out of this course if we can focus specifically on what you need. All great Therapy is about self awareness. The more you can answer these questions the more I can help. These answers will be kept in the strictest of confidence as part of being a Clinical Therapist. 

Please return them to me at sue@sexwithsue.com

  1. Which one of these most resonate with you on your journey to find connection?

-It’s too difficult to read signals

-I pick the same person over and over

-The dating pool get smaller as I get older

-I’m not meeting any quality people

-I’ve been hurt and rejection or ghosting is too painful 

-I’m afraid, nervous, shy

-Overthinking can lead to overreacting… which can lead to being dumped.

Other_________________________________

  1. What would your family and friends say is your greatest strength? Your greatest weakness? 
  2. Why have your previous relationships not been successful?
  3. If I asked your ex what would they say was the reason for the breakup?
  4. What did not work in past relationships?
  5. What worked in my past relationships?
  6. When was the last time I felt attractive? Smart? Or powerful?
  7. If someone tells me I’m not good enough, how would I respond?
  8. If someone tells me I’m amazing, how would I respond?
  9. Where are you the most stuck? 
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Why you need to know your unique selling proposition in dating.

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I picked him up off the beach and invited him to breakfast.

This was 10 days ago during our Mexican vacation.

He had a great smile, cool sunglasses, and a Superman tattoo he called a birthmark.

His name was T and he and a single buddy were in Cancun for a week of sun, sand, and tequila.

His friend D was sleeping off the effects of the previous night’s margaritas and he would have had to breakfast alone.

No one should have to eat alone.

A single Dad from Calgary I liked him immediately, and knew I had a number of single women in the group who would appreciate him and his friend.

We included them in our epic room crawl and out of that bloomed a couple of vacation romances between women in this group and the boys from Calgary.

On Saturday night at the Steely Dan concert, I asked a few new members what was special, quirky, and unique about them. And what they were looking for in a partner.

A majority of the people I asked couldn’t answer me.

How are potential partners going to appreciate you if you are uncertain about who you are? Or what you want? What’s cool about you?

You can’t hit a target you cannot see.

If you don’t know then you need a plan, a wingman, and a clear way forward to understand what you want in a future relationship.

If the quality of your life is in the quality of your relationships then finding an amazing intimate partner will improve your life immeasurably.

A partner gives you caring, warmth, fun, sex, unconditional love, support, adventures, companionship, passion, laughter and a safe space.

I woke up thinking about how I can help you get there.

As a Therapist I’ve found that the best results happen in groups. Everyone helps each other. It’s like being in a class where everyone has read the book.

I’ve decided to do a 3 week boot camp with the goal of getting you into the best position to find great love.

Here’s what it will do for you.

A very limited number will join me on a special Zoom call Monday night’s from 7-9 pm. There will be help outside of those hours but that’s the group time.

We will focus specifically on your needs, questions, and baggage that keeps you from a successful relationship.

By the end of week 3 you will be set up on a blind date, coached through the process, and have a clear understanding of the uniqueness you bring to a relationship.

I only have the time and bandwidth for a small group that will support each other.

Is this what you need?

As a Therapist my agenda is happy, connected people. Let’s find you someone you can buy a Christmas present for.

Join my list if this resonates.

 

 

She had a history of chasing the wrong guys.


He had a need to rescue unstable women who took advantage of him.

On paper they were neither of the other’s type.

He worked construction and she spent her days leading a website design firm.

He ate most of his meals from the drive thru in his truck.

She favoured local, organic greens.

He was a Newfoundlander with a big belly laugh and even bigger heart.

She was smart, independent, type A dog owner who carefully gave her loyal friendship.

I introduced them almost seven years ago.

They have been inseparable ever since. And like all great relationships are a gift to everyone else around them.

They both admit they never would have clicked on each other’s profiles.

Having the skills, opportunity, and pool of prospective mates to fish from is not something everyone has access to.

But it can be yours.

You can stop eating dinner alone over the sink, sending a cut and paste email and hoping something is going to happen. You can stop going to events and leaving feeling like the awkward kid at the High School dance.

            You can hold someone’s hand and have them hold yours.

I’ve been talking about this new boot camp I’m offering for the very first time to a very small number of you in this group.

Groups can be magic.

I have a women’s support group I ran a decade ago that still meets up every month to connect.

We had two couples living on opposite sides of the country come to Mexico last week who became friends three years ago during one of my online courses.

Groups let you know that you aren’t the only one feeling lost and defeated about dating. And your peers can give you both the hand up and the supportive hug you need while putting yourself out there emotionally.

This group will start Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm.

There will be a very nominal charge because offering something for free means people don’t value it and feel okay with skipping class. Human nature is that everyone needs skin in the game to take it seriously.

The value will be incredible. Worksheets, support, specific dating ads, blind date introductions, friends, role playing, practice sessions and more.

It will cost less than a half hour of one of my regular sessions.

You need to find great love. You can and you deserve to find great love.

Don’t miss put on the opportunity to join in. Details will be finalized this weekend. There is still time to send me a note expressing your interest.

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Another relationship had ended and when that happened he crashed without notice on my couch.

And promptly ate all the ice cream in the freezer.

At the time, My brother was a little lost when it came to women. He was very kind, attractive, but was a bit of a commitment phobe.

He had a habit of what I call “dating by default”.

Meeting the next girl, not the right girl.

They would start dating and it was good enough for him until his ex’s pressed him to make their relationship more permanent.

Then he would end up on my doorstep. Sad he had yet again hurt someone with a breakup and needing some sibling support.

I let him mope for a week before reading him the riot act.

I forced him to look at his attachment style (it’s hard to avoid the work when your sister is a shrink) and understand patterns of avoidant styles. Attachment comes from family of origin and fortunately I knew where to push when he was finally ready for advice.

I then asked if he was ready to meet a woman he could commit to.

I wrote him a Pulitzer Prize dating ad with great responses from cool, local women. (keep reading it’s below) and gave him a $200 Starbucks card. The deal was that he had to go on 50 first coffee dates.

Girl #2 blew him away. I told him to keep dating. After 21 dates he mutinied and started dating girl #2 exclusively. Girl #2 is my sister in law and Mom to my much loved niece and nephew.

In fairness this was 16 years ago when online dating wasn’t full of Nigerian Princes looking for help or trolling Eastern European sex workers enticing generous businessmen.

These days, Online dating has morphed into a disheartening, time-wasting foray into the lowest common denominator.

Which is why you need a new plan, model and program to find the love you deserve. You need tools.

It’s my job to understand human psychology when it comes to intimate relationships.

It’s your job not to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

I’ve been watching this group for the last 11 months we’ve been running it. I see the loneliness and uncertainty of what to do next.

It’s time to try a new dating model and way to find love.

Starting Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm I’m creating a special zoom group. It’s a first run for a small group of members who are ready to meet someone special.

I’m working hard to pull all my insights, skills, ideas, contacts, and 28 years as a Clinical Therapist to show you the way to find love in this new paradigm. I’m going to give you my time and attention.

The payment link will go up on Sunday for a nominal amount to show the same level of commitment I am offering. It won’t even be the amount of half a tank of gas.

On Monday, participants will be contacted and I’ll be sending out surveys looking for your questions, pain points and challenges with modern dating. I’ll spend next week planning for an exceptional group.

Over the next few weeks we will tailor a plan to everyone, give mutual support and help each other with the fear of being pushed away.

You are going to also make new best friends with the group participants as we share stories, laughter and some moments of real emotion. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.

Watch your inbox on Sunday.
2023 will be your year.

Ps Here is my brother’s dating ad that won him my cool sister-in-law. I’ll write one for you too.

 

 

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The new We-Vibe Chorus. It deserves a place in your sex toy box.

I have been following the We Vibe since they first launched as a toy company in my hometown of Ottawa, Canada. At the time, the product was revolutionary. Bruce the founder of Standard Innovation and We Vibe brought in two unique innovations to sex products. The first was a toy that could be used by couples during intercourse to encourage women to climax while being penetrated. With less than 20% of women ever reaching orgasm through straight intercourse (rather than oral or manual stimulation) having a toy that offered hands-free clitoral stimulation at the same time was a game changer.
The second was the ease of a re-chargeable toy in a previous world of batteries and wall plug in’s. It changed the business. The early We-Vibe ended up in the Oscar bags and it won all the toy awards that year.
There have been over 10 revisions of the original product since it’s inception. I certainly own a few of them. They have improved the charging over the years but not much has changed since the original shape and colour. Except for a cute remote control that you can give to your partner to play with. Varying the speed and intensity of the toy can happen both by hand and with a hand help remote which is fun. I admit to losing more toy remotes than I have ever done with the television controls.
The biggest challenge previously with the classic We-Vibe was the fit. Trying to have a C shaped toy sitting inside vaginally with enough power to get you off, while being the right size and shape to allow a penis to be inserted at the same time. My experience with previous We Vibe toys was that it kept falling out or required constant adjusting. So honestly, I wasn’t expecting much different in the new We- Vibe Chorus, the latest in the purple C shaped couple’s toys.
According to the website the We-Vibe Chorus has been improved based on consumer feedback. Having been on the toy testing council for We Vibe on a number of occasions I like to think that the great new fit may be a result of my and other local women’s input.
According to the marketing material, “The new version has a better shape on the internal stimulator to give a better fit, stronger wireless connection for playing with the We-Connect app and a squeezable remote control that increases the intensity of the toy as it is squeezed.”
All I care about is that it works.
My orgasm happened easily both alone and with a partner. Yay me. It didn’t fly out and hit the wall across the room covered in lube (as had one of the previous versions) and it was the right length to insert easily while touching the clitoris. It’s a slightly different shape and it stays put. I went for a walk with it in recently and despite me having to stop and bite my lip I wasn’t fishing it out of my pant leg.
The new We-Vibe Chorus is a win. It’s a good example of how listening to users and tinkering with the product will really deserve the adage of “new and improved”. There are lots of expensive sex toys out there that might not be worth the money. The We-Vibe Chorus is not one of them. It deserves a spot in any well-heeled couple’s toy box.

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Boudoir/ Dude-oir and couples erotic shots happening July 12th, 2020!


It gives you time to get the covid hair fixed.
Come join us for an amazing afternoon of safe and sexy photos with two first rate photographers!
Boudoir for women, men and couples!
It’s Sunday, July 12 from 11 to 6 pm. We will book by appointment and work to keep everything clean and safe! Food, wine, professional makeup (for those without testicles) , amazing photographs, lingerie, and a chance to find your sexy selves! It’s part of the body image series.
Boudoir Photography and party with champagne, great food, friends, chocolate and sexy pictures!
We love doing boudoir. It’s becomes magical. Women feeling beautiful, empowered and the guys are happy to have something erotic and personal. Couples feel connected. Men get super hot dating photos. Anyone who has done them raves about them. We get top, professional makeup application and have two photographers in the building Anny B and Paul Chislett. By making sure we have economies of scale we can do the event for $150 per person or couple. So you can have together and alone for the same price. What a deal!
Look back on yourself when you are 80 and see how hot you really were! Do it for yourself, to torment the guys who might possibly see them with your beauty or give it as a for-his-eyes-only gift. Sexy couple photos are also welcome if you would prefer to do them together.
Mimosa’s, (champagne and orange juice) chocolate, and the sexiest photos you can imagine! It’s safe, discreet, private, and super fun! Women or couples, it’s sensuous (but safe), erotic and fun. Participants can wear whatever they would like (bring it with you) and you have time for one change of outfits. You have a private area for photo’s and it’s all relaxed and discreet. Professional makeup artist will be there to transform you. You need to have your own hair done when you arrive. It all happens on Sunday July 12 at a private house in Ottawa south. Address will be sent to participants.
So pictures, food, and community!
Bring something yummy to share and I’ll make up pitchers of our trademarked sangria and mimosa’s. We have limited room for photos so it is a first come first serve. Cost is $150 (either alone or together) which includes makeup, photo shoot, and two photographs. You may purchase the library of other shots (the ones where you aren’t blinking) directly from the photographer. They have different packages or just stick with the few amazing ones you are guaranteed. Given that there are upfront expenses, you need to pay in advance on the wearetheducklings.com/events website or by etranfer to bdspratt@gmail.com, or commit to paying in cash and NOT BAILING!
If you want one of those shots you can look at when you are 80, still hot for each other and goosing each other around the anniversary cake then this is the day for you. Think relaxed, loving, elegant with Ottawa’s premier boudoir photographer. If you’ve never had a sensuous photo of you and your sweetie taken, give it some thought. It’s unbelievably intimate and you can look back on yourself as the hot hot couple or have something to embarrass your kids with. We provide professional make up application, martini’s and fantastic food samplings along with a romance picture that will last a lifetime.
You bring whatever outfits you want to wear. Or have it clothing optional. It can be anything you feel sexy in. I’ve taken my picture in nothing but a Sens jersey. Smile. We also share food so bring a dish of munchies to pass around.

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10 date ideas to do during the pandemic

I’ve been posting and talking a lot about dating during the pandemic. Even if you’ve been married for decades you still need to make the relationship a priority. I spend my days trying to make sure that I am doing things to keep my own relationship spicy. It’s a hard thing to keep top of mind and it’s especially hard during a global lock down.
In my neck of the woods we had a late spring so from much of the early days even a walk outside wasn’t fun.
However with the warm weather we have bug season. But outdoors is a great place for romance.
We have walked at dusk looking for bats, walked along the water looking for turtles (here is the female painted turtle laying her eggs along mud lake this week) and sunset seeing the ducks swim along the Ottawa River. Hiking in Gatineau Park always works for an evening.
Camping and cottaging is now open (Thank you!). An inexpensive tenting weekend in the Provincial parks, a Inn in the Gatineau’s (Travel Zoo has a mid week $189 night that includes breakfast and spa service, or cottages on airbnb are at an all time high for availability.
Drive through zoo’s and drive in’s are open! Port Elmsley drive in (Smiths Falls area) and Parc Omega in Montebello are both open. Add to that the winery testing in Perth, Carp, south Mountain, and Navan and campfires at Saunders Farm there are some things you can do while only limited to 10 people.
Some of the consignment and antique stores are open and that might be a great day of wandering through piles of other people’s junk.
The Premier is encouraging “social bubbles” of 10 people. We call them “germ circles” but it allows dinner parties, backyard gatherings, and visit with friends. This is the time to be creative. Please let me know if you have any other ideas.

Staying sane during the lock down

“During the beginning of the pandemic, when social distancing and other restrictions were put into place, we found that depression and loneliness were being experienced at considerably heightened rates in the U.S.,” said Molly Rosenberg, at the IU School of Public Health-Bloomington. “While these restrictions were and continue to be critically important to protecting Americans from the virus, it is clear that the spread and response to the virus has had a tremendous mental health impact on Americans.”
Yup. For many people the lock down has been a new form of torture. But there are some things you can do stay sane.
I have a list of Ottawa area date nights that can be extrapolated to any city. We need to find new ways to be safely connecting. And given that I focus on intimate relationships rather than just hanging out with friends I think that’s where we need to spend our energy.  Read the blog here.
But event with a great intimate relationship the pandemic has been hard.
“Among those in romantic relationships, we found that increased relationship tension was associated with dramatically higher prevalence of both loneliness and depression compared to those not experiencing such conflict,” says Maya Luetke, co-author and doctoral student in the Department of Epidemiology and Biostatistics.
In terms of social connection, the study found that those who reported hugging or kissing a family member almost every day in the last month were 26 percent less likely to report major depressive symptoms and 28 percent less likely to report loneliness.
In terms of sexual connections, the study found that those who reported the most frequent partnered sex were 57 percent less likely to report depressive symptoms. However, those who reported frequent remote sex or dating app usage tended to have slightly higher rates of depression and loneliness.”
So how do you get more sexual connections? Our new Duckling dating site has evolved to offer safe, friendly, happy, and sexy new connections. It’s different in that it’s open to all models of sexual interest. It’s also part of the larger 10,000 member Duckling social group that relates potential partners to the individual dates we have scheduled. Give it a look. And don’t be stuck inside and isolated as the Covid lock down continues.

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Men's Group and Scotch tasting. Why you should send your guy (or join) a men's group

I was asked recently to explain why men’s group was worth the money. It’s inexpensive ($25 a week for friendship, support, relevant and real information), friends, and scotch) but the group is always greater than the sum of it’s parts. It’s a safe place to be a guy and get mentored and helped by other men of all ages. Why it’s worth the money is that it can be life changing.
It’s especially good for people who are exploring new aspects of their sexuality or starting to dip a toe in ethical non-monogamy.
Open relationships with guidance, ethical non-monogamy can be wonderful. However, a worst case outcome is that you lose your marriage. Our members have stepped on all kinds of land mines in their journeys. They openly share the pain, the solutions and knowledge that cannot be acquired anywhere else. Combined with friendship and a shoulder to lean on, the group is indispensable. If this is your path, men’s group is the most significant resource that can be purchased.
There are men in the group simply trying to understand women, date, up their social, image and sexual skills and everyone there speaks the language.
It runs regularly but it’s about to start again for eight weeks. Tuesdays (starting Jun 16th, 2020 both in person in Westboro or virtually). Send the $200 either below or by etransfer to bdspratt@gmail.com. It’s run by Blaik Spratt and he’s spectacular. I can’t recommend it enough.