I picked him up off the beach and invited him to breakfast.
This was 10 days ago during our Mexican vacation.
He had a great smile, cool sunglasses, and a Superman tattoo he called a birthmark.
His name was T and he and a single buddy were in Cancun for a week of sun, sand, and tequila.
His friend D was sleeping off the effects of the previous night’s margaritas and he would have had to breakfast alone.
No one should have to eat alone.
A single Dad from Calgary I liked him immediately, and knew I had a number of single women in the group who would appreciate him and his friend.
We included them in our epic room crawl and out of that bloomed a couple of vacation romances between women in this group and the boys from Calgary.
On Saturday night at the Steely Dan concert, I asked a few new members what was special, quirky, and unique about them. And what they were looking for in a partner.
A majority of the people I asked couldn’t answer me.
How are potential partners going to appreciate you if you are uncertain about who you are? Or what you want? What’s cool about you?
You can’t hit a target you cannot see.
If you don’t know then you need a plan, a wingman, and a clear way forward to understand what you want in a future relationship.
If the quality of your life is in the quality of your relationships then finding an amazing intimate partner will improve your life immeasurably.
A partner gives you caring, warmth, fun, sex, unconditional love, support, adventures, companionship, passion, laughter and a safe space.
I woke up thinking about how I can help you get there.
As a Therapist I’ve found that the best results happen in groups. Everyone helps each other. It’s like being in a class where everyone has read the book.
I’ve decided to do a 3 week boot camp with the goal of getting you into the best position to find great love.
Here’s what it will do for you.
A very limited number will join me on a special Zoom call Monday night’s from 7-9 pm. There will be help outside of those hours but that’s the group time.
We will focus specifically on your needs, questions, and baggage that keeps you from a successful relationship.
By the end of week 3 you will be set up on a blind date, coached through the process, and have a clear understanding of the uniqueness you bring to a relationship.
I only have the time and bandwidth for a small group that will support each other.
Is this what you need?
As a Therapist my agenda is happy, connected people. Let’s find you someone you can buy a Christmas present for.
Join my list if this resonates.
She had a history of chasing the wrong guys.
He had a need to rescue unstable women who took advantage of him.On paper they were neither of the other’s type.
He worked construction and she spent her days leading a website design firm.
He ate most of his meals from the drive thru in his truck.
She favoured local, organic greens.
He was a Newfoundlander with a big belly laugh and even bigger heart.
She was smart, independent, type A dog owner who carefully gave her loyal friendship.
I introduced them almost seven years ago.
They have been inseparable ever since. And like all great relationships are a gift to everyone else around them.
They both admit they never would have clicked on each other’s profiles.
Having the skills, opportunity, and pool of prospective mates to fish from is not something everyone has access to.
But it can be yours.
You can stop eating dinner alone over the sink, sending a cut and paste email and hoping something is going to happen. You can stop going to events and leaving feeling like the awkward kid at the High School dance.
I’ve been talking about this new boot camp I’m offering for the very first time to a very small number of you in this group.
Groups can be magic.
I have a women’s support group I ran a decade ago that still meets up every month to connect.
We had two couples living on opposite sides of the country come to Mexico last week who became friends three years ago during one of my online courses.
Groups let you know that you aren’t the only one feeling lost and defeated about dating. And your peers can give you both the hand up and the supportive hug you need while putting yourself out there emotionally.
This group will start Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm.
There will be a very nominal charge because offering something for free means people don’t value it and feel okay with skipping class. Human nature is that everyone needs skin in the game to take it seriously.
The value will be incredible. Worksheets, support, specific dating ads, blind date introductions, friends, role playing, practice sessions and more.
It will cost less than a half hour of one of my regular sessions.
You need to find great love. You can and you deserve to find great love.
Don’t miss put on the opportunity to join in. Details will be finalized this weekend. There is still time to send me a note expressing your interest.
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He showed up on my doorstep with two garbage bags full of laundry.
Another relationship had ended and when that happened he crashed without notice on my couch.
And promptly ate all the ice cream in the freezer.
At the time, My brother was a little lost when it came to women. He was very kind, attractive, but was a bit of a commitment phobe.
He had a habit of what I call “dating by default”.
Meeting the next girl, not the right girl.
They would start dating and it was good enough for him until his ex’s pressed him to make their relationship more permanent.
Then he would end up on my doorstep. Sad he had yet again hurt someone with a breakup and needing some sibling support.
I let him mope for a week before reading him the riot act.
I forced him to look at his attachment style (it’s hard to avoid the work when your sister is a shrink) and understand patterns of avoidant styles. Attachment comes from family of origin and fortunately I knew where to push when he was finally ready for advice.
I then asked if he was ready to meet a woman he could commit to.
I wrote him a Pulitzer Prize dating ad with great responses from cool, local women. (keep reading it’s below) and gave him a $200 Starbucks card. The deal was that he had to go on 50 first coffee dates.
Girl #2 blew him away. I told him to keep dating. After 21 dates he mutinied and started dating girl #2 exclusively. Girl #2 is my sister in law and Mom to my much loved niece and nephew.
In fairness this was 16 years ago when online dating wasn’t full of Nigerian Princes looking for help or trolling Eastern European sex workers enticing generous businessmen.
These days, Online dating has morphed into a disheartening, time-wasting foray into the lowest common denominator.
Which is why you need a new plan, model and program to find the love you deserve. You need tools.
It’s my job to understand human psychology when it comes to intimate relationships.
It’s your job not to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.
I’ve been watching this group for the last 11 months we’ve been running it. I see the loneliness and uncertainty of what to do next.
It’s time to try a new dating model and way to find love.
Starting Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm I’m creating a special zoom group. It’s a first run for a small group of members who are ready to meet someone special.
I’m working hard to pull all my insights, skills, ideas, contacts, and 28 years as a Clinical Therapist to show you the way to find love in this new paradigm. I’m going to give you my time and attention.
The payment link will go up on Sunday for a nominal amount to show the same level of commitment I am offering. It won’t even be the amount of half a tank of gas.
On Monday, participants will be contacted and I’ll be sending out surveys looking for your questions, pain points and challenges with modern dating. I’ll spend next week planning for an exceptional group.
Over the next few weeks we will tailor a plan to everyone, give mutual support and help each other with the fear of being pushed away.
You are going to also make new best friends with the group participants as we share stories, laughter and some moments of real emotion. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.
Watch your inbox on Sunday.
2023 will be your year.
Ps Here is my brother’s dating ad that won him my cool sister-in-law. I’ll write one for you too.