June has been dubbed “Pride Month,” to recognize the Stonewall riots in June of ’69 (read more about that here). Today Pride Month means a few things: often there are many pride parades happening across the world, a time to recognize the trials and tribulations that the LGBTQ+ community has been through and what they still are going through, a moment to celebrate the accomplishments of LGBTQ+ individuals, and for many large corporations, it is a time to profit off of rainbow merchandise. However, with all this being said, being an ally is not limited to only June. Here are just a few ways you can continue to be an ally throughout the year…..

  1. Respect pronouns and names
    • In English grammar a pronoun is a word we use when talking about a person, rather than their name, “she,” “her,” “they,” “he,” etc. In the course of a person’s life, sometimes the pronouns they prefer change. This is completely normal. Who we are from the time we are born to when we die does not stay the same, so it is understandable that our gender expression may change too. Whatever pronoun someone tells you they use, do your best to respect them and use this pronoun. If someone changes their name, use this name.
  2. If you don’t understand, do research
    • It can get quite exhausting for an LGBTQ+ person to constantly explain what certain things mean. They had to learn for themselves, so you can too! Google is your best friend. Though take what you read from the internet with a grain of salt. Try to get information from multiple reliable sources. If you gain knowledge on your own, the LGBTQ+ people in your life will likely be more willing and ready to have conversations with you on the topic you’re confused about.
  3. Their relationships are just as valid as yours
    • LGBTQ+ relationships are totally valid and meaningful, just like any other relationships out there. Love doesn’t care about societal norms or who you’re attracted to. It’s all about that deep connection, shared experiences, and supporting each other through thick and thin. When we recognize the validity of LGBTQ+ relationships, we’re promoting equality and inclusivity. Let’s celebrate love in all its beautiful forms, standing with those who choose to love whoever makes their heart happy.
  4. Support your local queer businesses
    • Supporting queer and trans businesses is super important for creating an inclusive society. It’s all about giving opportunities to LGBTQ+ entrepreneurs, providing safe spaces, and shaking up the status quo. When we get behind these businesses, we’re not only empowering marginalized communities, but we’re also sending a loud and clear message of acceptance and embracing diversity. So, let’s actively show our support and invest in queer and trans businesses to shape a better future for everyone.
  5. Treat LGBTQ+ people as you would anyone else, they are human beings and deserve love, respect, and kindness just like anyone

I do this Boot Camp for singles it’s hard to get past all your difficulties in the past where are you stuck why do you keep picking the same person over and over again are you too picky do you keep choosing your father or are you taking too much are you a doormat are you serve one and done and only get a first date over and over again are you too standoffis.


Are you waiting until you lose weight or get a new job in order to date you find that nobody meets your standards or expectations are you constantly disappointed let’s figure out what past things are keeping you stuck as it were doing in the the singles Boot Camp but one of the biggest things that I do as a therapist is just to tell people it’s OK I like groups because it allows people to talk support each other and realize that they’re not alone


But it’s also for me to say it’s OK for you to be single it’s OK for you to tell people you’re looking for a relationship it’s OK to ask for blind dates I think half of what I do is just validating people that it’s OK to be in the space if you want to change it you are not gonna do it by staying at home on Netflix bingeing.

But there are ways to help hear the five things that we are doing to make a difference number when we do something called the checklist at the end of three dates there’s a study that said 59% of people need a minimum of three dates to lower their guard and actually show the real them the real you.

By the third date you’ve needed to ask some questions you know the goal is is can you see you know to find this person attractive are you interested enough to have a second or third date but by the end of the third day you need to know what’s going on.

Two. You need to have a pretty clear understanding of the vision you want if it’s happily ever after in a picket fence hang onto that no matter how attractive somebody who’s just looking for something casual is hang onto your vision number three get a selection committee sometimes our past gets in the way of us making good decisions have people that love you and support you who can meet somebody new in your life.

Ask people around you what in fairness you need to work on where are you stuck because your best qualities are often your worst qualities you’re really giving but that means you give too much or you’re super independent which means you don’t have time for a relationship figure out what that is part of that that your friends family coworkers may have some insight into

Number five don’t be afraid to cut people off but always have at least two or three conversations in the works you wanna be meeting one to two people a week if you’re having trouble with that that’s where groups like mine the ducklings in the over 40 cannot help you generate all kinds of options of options


Don’t be afraid to cut people off but always have at least two or three conversations in the works you wanna be meeting 1 to 2 people a week if you’re having trouble with that that’s where groups like mine have the ducklings in the over 40 connect help you generate all kinds of options
Dating it’s been broken for a while we’re all trying new ways to fix it.

These five tips are just the start, so even if you feel like you’re stuck, give yourself a chance to really break through, look at these areas and see what you can do to start being more intentional about going out and dating. So, what are you waiting for? Go for it and make your dting dreams come to life!

I’ve heard it said that I could write a book on this subject, but the truth is, I’ve got enough experience with it to put on a stand-up routine. My observations from the dating world are that people today have become incredibly disposable with the internet and social media. With so many options readily available, it seems like it’s much easier for people to simply move on to someone else when they face a rough patch instead of working things out.

I’ve also seen men who have come out of 25+ year marriages unwilling to open themselves up to being hurt again. While the average woman experiences her fair share of heart ache in the dating world, she usually dusts herself of and keeps pressing forward. Whether it’s the romantic in us or just a sense of hope that there’s at least one out there who’s like us and still wants a real relationship, we continue yearning.

Unfortunately, life has gotten incredibly chaotic with balancing both work schedules and children’s extracurricular activities, which has made it difficult for people to invest a large amount of time into pursuing one person. It takes considerable effort and determination to make sure that those precious moments are well spent.

Since most of us go against our nature by practicing monogamy, it is important for both men and women to learn how to compromise and open their minds to things that might not have been on their real estate laundry list. Holding out for perfection will always leave you feeling unsatisfied and alone. It also pays to be honest about what you’re looking for and to be genuine in every aspect of the process.

At the end of the day, it’s important to have a bit of fun with the process. While some of your dates might not be romantically or sexually compatible with you, you never know who they might know who might make the perfect match. Even if you don’t make a romantic connection with someone, it is possible to make a friend. Ultimately, dating should be about opening yourself up to new experiences and having faith that you’ll find what you’re looking for.

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I picked him up off the beach and invited him to breakfast.

This was 10 days ago during our Mexican vacation.

He had a great smile, cool sunglasses, and a Superman tattoo he called a birthmark.

His name was T and he and a single buddy were in Cancun for a week of sun, sand, and tequila.

His friend D was sleeping off the effects of the previous night’s margaritas and he would have had to breakfast alone.

No one should have to eat alone.

A single Dad from Calgary I liked him immediately, and knew I had a number of single women in the group who would appreciate him and his friend.

We included them in our epic room crawl and out of that bloomed a couple of vacation romances between women in this group and the boys from Calgary.

On Saturday night at the Steely Dan concert, I asked a few new members what was special, quirky, and unique about them. And what they were looking for in a partner.

A majority of the people I asked couldn’t answer me.

How are potential partners going to appreciate you if you are uncertain about who you are? Or what you want? What’s cool about you?

You can’t hit a target you cannot see.

If you don’t know then you need a plan, a wingman, and a clear way forward to understand what you want in a future relationship.

If the quality of your life is in the quality of your relationships then finding an amazing intimate partner will improve your life immeasurably.

A partner gives you caring, warmth, fun, sex, unconditional love, support, adventures, companionship, passion, laughter and a safe space.

I woke up thinking about how I can help you get there.

As a Therapist I’ve found that the best results happen in groups. Everyone helps each other. It’s like being in a class where everyone has read the book.

I’ve decided to do a 3 week boot camp with the goal of getting you into the best position to find great love.

Here’s what it will do for you.

A very limited number will join me on a special Zoom call Monday night’s from 7-9 pm. There will be help outside of those hours but that’s the group time.

We will focus specifically on your needs, questions, and baggage that keeps you from a successful relationship.

By the end of week 3 you will be set up on a blind date, coached through the process, and have a clear understanding of the uniqueness you bring to a relationship.

I only have the time and bandwidth for a small group that will support each other.

Is this what you need?

As a Therapist my agenda is happy, connected people. Let’s find you someone you can buy a Christmas present for.

Join my list if this resonates.

 

 

She had a history of chasing the wrong guys.


He had a need to rescue unstable women who took advantage of him.

On paper they were neither of the other’s type.

He worked construction and she spent her days leading a website design firm.

He ate most of his meals from the drive thru in his truck.

She favoured local, organic greens.

He was a Newfoundlander with a big belly laugh and even bigger heart.

She was smart, independent, type A dog owner who carefully gave her loyal friendship.

I introduced them almost seven years ago.

They have been inseparable ever since. And like all great relationships are a gift to everyone else around them.

They both admit they never would have clicked on each other’s profiles.

Having the skills, opportunity, and pool of prospective mates to fish from is not something everyone has access to.

But it can be yours.

You can stop eating dinner alone over the sink, sending a cut and paste email and hoping something is going to happen. You can stop going to events and leaving feeling like the awkward kid at the High School dance.

            You can hold someone’s hand and have them hold yours.

I’ve been talking about this new boot camp I’m offering for the very first time to a very small number of you in this group.

Groups can be magic.

I have a women’s support group I ran a decade ago that still meets up every month to connect.

We had two couples living on opposite sides of the country come to Mexico last week who became friends three years ago during one of my online courses.

Groups let you know that you aren’t the only one feeling lost and defeated about dating. And your peers can give you both the hand up and the supportive hug you need while putting yourself out there emotionally.

This group will start Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm.

There will be a very nominal charge because offering something for free means people don’t value it and feel okay with skipping class. Human nature is that everyone needs skin in the game to take it seriously.

The value will be incredible. Worksheets, support, specific dating ads, blind date introductions, friends, role playing, practice sessions and more.

It will cost less than a half hour of one of my regular sessions.

You need to find great love. You can and you deserve to find great love.

Don’t miss put on the opportunity to join in. Details will be finalized this weekend. There is still time to send me a note expressing your interest.

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Another relationship had ended and when that happened he crashed without notice on my couch.

And promptly ate all the ice cream in the freezer.

At the time, My brother was a little lost when it came to women. He was very kind, attractive, but was a bit of a commitment phobe.

He had a habit of what I call “dating by default”.

Meeting the next girl, not the right girl.

They would start dating and it was good enough for him until his ex’s pressed him to make their relationship more permanent.

Then he would end up on my doorstep. Sad he had yet again hurt someone with a breakup and needing some sibling support.

I let him mope for a week before reading him the riot act.

I forced him to look at his attachment style (it’s hard to avoid the work when your sister is a shrink) and understand patterns of avoidant styles. Attachment comes from family of origin and fortunately I knew where to push when he was finally ready for advice.

I then asked if he was ready to meet a woman he could commit to.

I wrote him a Pulitzer Prize dating ad with great responses from cool, local women. (keep reading it’s below) and gave him a $200 Starbucks card. The deal was that he had to go on 50 first coffee dates.

Girl #2 blew him away. I told him to keep dating. After 21 dates he mutinied and started dating girl #2 exclusively. Girl #2 is my sister in law and Mom to my much loved niece and nephew.

In fairness this was 16 years ago when online dating wasn’t full of Nigerian Princes looking for help or trolling Eastern European sex workers enticing generous businessmen.

These days, Online dating has morphed into a disheartening, time-wasting foray into the lowest common denominator.

Which is why you need a new plan, model and program to find the love you deserve. You need tools.

It’s my job to understand human psychology when it comes to intimate relationships.

It’s your job not to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

I’ve been watching this group for the last 11 months we’ve been running it. I see the loneliness and uncertainty of what to do next.

It’s time to try a new dating model and way to find love.

Starting Monday, Dec 5th at 7 pm I’m creating a special zoom group. It’s a first run for a small group of members who are ready to meet someone special.

I’m working hard to pull all my insights, skills, ideas, contacts, and 28 years as a Clinical Therapist to show you the way to find love in this new paradigm. I’m going to give you my time and attention.

The payment link will go up on Sunday for a nominal amount to show the same level of commitment I am offering. It won’t even be the amount of half a tank of gas.

On Monday, participants will be contacted and I’ll be sending out surveys looking for your questions, pain points and challenges with modern dating. I’ll spend next week planning for an exceptional group.

Over the next few weeks we will tailor a plan to everyone, give mutual support and help each other with the fear of being pushed away.

You are going to also make new best friends with the group participants as we share stories, laughter and some moments of real emotion. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.

Watch your inbox on Sunday.
2023 will be your year.

Ps Here is my brother’s dating ad that won him my cool sister-in-law. I’ll write one for you too.

 

 

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Post Valentine’s Day when singles peek their noses out of their apartments and are more ready to see their shadows & start dating. What are the things you can do if you decide that the time may be right for you to get out there and meet someone new. One of those things is to finally take any baggage you may be carrying to the curb.

There was a great newsletter from Logan Ury on dating. She talked about how people found potential partners much more attractive if they were seeing a Therapist and working on themselves. You are badass and super sexy for working on those past issues that keep you down.

Here is her list on what you need to do to find a Therapist. Research says that 50% of therapy is making a decision to start doing something about your past issues and finding a therapist you click with.

Have a look below. It’s a great checklist about finding the therapeutic fit.

How to find a therapist

Finding a therapist can feel overwhelming.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before you begin.

— Do I want to see a therapist virtually or in person?

— Do I want to use my insurance?

— Do I want to see a therapist who looks like me?

— What do I want to work on?

The biggest predictor of success in therapy is the client/therapist relationship. So fit is super important. Here are some initial questions to determine if they’re a good fit (and check out this article for more.)

— Do I feel safe?

— Do I feel a connection?

— Do I enjoy their style?

— Do they tend to give advice/feedback or focus mostly on asking questions?

Feel free to “shop around” before committing to a therapist.

Date nights are mandatory. Imperative. Essential for having the relationship you want.

I was asked a few times about new suggestions for Valentine’s week.

I’m big on watching one of the easy Youtube cooking classes or TikTok food suggestions. Cooking together is sexy.

I love the cheap toys at pink cherry (and you get loyalty points!). You can get a bullet for $2.95, furry handcuffs for $6 and clitoral & penis pumps for $25.

The fun game Taboo has just come out with an adult version. It’s a naughty thing to try on a cold winter’s night. Here are the links for apple ios and android.

I’m also a big fan about sex toys form the hardware store. We had to go in to get a new ice scraper and wandered around with the tieups and drop sheets. We hurried home after that.

The date night we did last week while picking up shwarma was stop in at the local Goodwill store while waiting for the takeout a few stores down. I challenged my partner to find the most inappropriate t shirt in 10 minutes. The favourite one we got my partner ended up sending to his brother. You can also browse the sexy clothing items, or try on hats. It’s about fun and doing something outside your comfort level.

I’m going to make a point to publish a few suggestions every week. Being mindfully sexy with your partner is as important as communicating. I posted the study in December about the reasons why sexy date nights are as significant as communicating with humour, not threatening the relationship, and trying to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own in creating intimacy.

Stay with it. It pays big dividends.

The hilarious virtual dating game with local singles May 16, 7 pm!
We are hosting a virtual Dating Game with the national award-winning comedian Emerson Lake (aka Ric Kaulbars) as MC. $10 with proceeds to charity. Send payment to suem@rogers.com.
There will be laughs, facilitated breakout rooms with questions like “best & worst dating stories”, “best ways to meet” & more. Make friends, make connections, & learn some dating skills. You can be anonymous or share your video & there will be an opportunity to express your interest safely. May 16th at 7 pm while we are all in lockdown. Don’t miss this one.
Send in your $10 (for charity) to join in! suem at rogers .com

I’ve been doing a series on Tiktok on “How to get laid”. This is less about dating and more about finding an abundance of sexual partners. I have over 15,000 followers (nobody was more surprised than I was) so follow me at wearetheducklings (the cool name of my social group @ wearetheducklings.com).

What I have been talking about is ways to not scare off potential sexual rendezvous. What many men don’t seem to realize is that women want, need & like sex. We just need to feel valued, safe, not judged, and secure in order to let loose. Give us a safe way to let loose and we are putty in your hands.

Here is how men screw things up. I’ve been helping a close friend of mine find potential partners. She is looking both for men to have casual sex with and men to date.  She’s beautiful, smart, kind, single and you would think it would be easy.  I know how many potential partners there are out there for her. She came to the cottage this past weekend and I set her up on Bumbl. I picked her pictures, wrote her ads (I can do it for you too if you want to book a session) and started 23 conversation with men she matched with over the weekend. I couldn’t believe how man of them blew it.

If you bare a guy who has more dates than they know what to do with then this advice may not be for you. But she’s attracted to nerdy guys who like tech, gaming, scifi, & who can also carry on a conversation. She’s kind and is less concerned about looks. A great all round person who loves sex. Those guys aren’t getting thousands of matches. After going through pages of guys on the aps ( and writing over 40 men) this is what I found were the issues with the guys that couldn’t score with a kind, friendly, willing girl who wants to get touched.

  1. Terrible pictures! No bathroom selfies, get a friend to take an outside, SMILING picture of yourself. Humans smile at each other to show we are safe. No arms crossed I look cool pics.
  2. When you compliment a woman you don’t know (even if she wants sex) stick to compliments above her neck or below her knees. Or mention her dog, guitar, location but do not comment on her body parts!!!!
  3. Don’t criticize her profile or pictures. You don’t know her and it will kill it right there. I had 3 guys immediately ask for body shots. Are you Fuck’n kidding me? How to shut down things immediately.
  4. Be interesting. She had a few that were polite but had nothing to talk about on the first call. Read a paper and have something to say about three topics of interest.
  5. Be engaged. The first guy she had a video call with was watching TV while he was talking to her. Sigh. Rude and clueless.
  6. Talk about things that make you seem safe. Playing with your kids, dog, nephew, talking your Mom shopping, volunteering for the food bank etc.
  7. Let her bring up sex first. Don’t even imply it. No words like play, sensuous, kink etc until she opens the door. And then you are in.
  8. CHILL OUT. Quality women are busy and may take a day or two to get back to you. Don’t bombard with messages and come across as needy. And expect it to take 3 relaxed meetings MINIMUM before she gets naked.
  9. NO DICK PIC’s. Unless she begs you.

I have a bunch more. And I coach both men and women on how to connect and get laid. Follow my tiktok videos and know that for a $140 I can set you up and coach you on how to get laid. Guaranteed.

Here’s an article on the vision behind the site and why it isn’t just another dating site.
Let’s face it – no one really likes the online dating experience. Sure, a lot of people eventually find their match. But meeting that person requires sorting through a parade of fake accounts, scammers and people who get away with all manner of bad behaviour due to the anonymity these sites provide.  The thing that dating sites do best is make money for their owners.
There’s a better way for adults to find each other, and that’s the purpose behind Ducklings Dating.
It is our members’ online link to connect with other Ducklings for dating, friendship…or your own definition of “whatever”.  Safe and inclusive, people are vetted because they are members of our Duckling community – there are no Nigerian Princes or bikini-clad Instagram fakes looking to scam you. Just real people who have been accepted into the Ducklings looking to connect with compatible adults in a safe environment.
Don’t think of it as another Internet dating site. It isn’t. This is the exclusive Duckling-only online community, where you can find Ducklings who match your interests and continue conversations started at our events, or begin to make new connections.  Think of Ducklings events and the online experience like a pub – sure, there may be a couple making out in the corner and some playful flashing, but these are real people who respond to conversation and people ready for a real connection.
And let’s face it – as tricky as it can be to navigate traditional online dating, it is even more difficult when you’re looking for something non-traditional or adventurous.
Many Ducklings love their 3-5 Duckling events, and with good reason. Try talking to your traditional online dating match about Duckling shenanigans (or swinging or nudism or poly or bdsm or ??), and nine times out of ten you’ll be pigeon-holed, and either rejected or viewed as “just for fun”.
Of course, there are places online where hardcore fetishists, and swingers can be found on various niche websites.  Some are rather extreme, and many are hugely expensive to join and rife with fraudsters. None have their roots in a safe real-world community like The Ducklings.
DucklingDating.com is nearing completion. Duckling profiles will be upfront about who the person is, and the type of connections they are open to. Profiles will be fun and will be set up to tell more about the person than whether they like to walk on the beach.  You’ll be able to share as much or as little as you like with photos and in private messaging – all safe and secure. The good behaviour that’s the norm for Duckling live events will be enforced online – and we know that good things come to people who play nice.
We are fun, flirty, safe, educational and inclusive. We are The Ducklings, and now we have a new way to connect to each other, the events we love, and the relationships we want to explore along the way.
Join Duckling Dating and find out for yourself!
Duckling Dating has launched!
It has been two years in development, including some bad words at the low points, yet an incredible team pulled it out to deliver the first edition of Duckling dating. Register & if you are a member you will be approved to set up a profile & navigate the site. Let the celebration begin! We are going to have a 30 minute “how to navigate the new dating site” by Zoom this Monday, January 19th at 6:30 pm for 30 minutes.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89366933535
What’s different about Duck dating you might ask?
First it only for paid Duckling members only. That means for less than a tank of gas annually ($50/year) you get a dating membership, access to all of our 4 & 5 duck events, the big Dropbox of sex books & erotica,  toy testing access, & FREE sex- ed with videos including prostate massage, dominatrix training & more. As well as being part of the kindest, most amazing community anywhere. Many dating sites are over $500/year alone.
With only Ducks allowed, our new dating site is private, vetted, local, with like-minded people. It’s all about authenticity. Fun questions about your passions, dreams, & what’s fun about you -and less about intrusive questions.  It’s also open for all kinds of relationship models & duck colours so you don’t have to fit into a box. Poly, kinky, traditional, bi, couples, swingers. hot wives, unicorns etc. all have a place in Duck dating.
Once Covid is over you will be able to blend our amazing online dating site with in-person events. This is a new way of connecting both online & offline.

Don’t be a dick

Blunt lessons on dating and flirting in the digital age

By An Anonymous Duckling

Yup, this is yet another article on Internet dating. Unlike many such articles written by guys in the last twenty years, you won’t find anything on opening lines, or advice on being “alpha” or edgy or any of that.

 

For starters, women are past that, particularly the women who have lived a little. Secondly, we’re Ducklings. where the ethos is first and foremost about actual interaction and being a decent person.

 

The lessons in this article were acquired over many years of online dating, observation, and being a sounding board for women who have heard and seen it all.  In somewhat random order, here is what I’ve learned.

 

  1. You are not unique and special until you prove that you are

 

Whether in online dating or a community like the Ducklings, the reality is that women have choices. They’ve likely interacted with a lot of guys, and it takes more than a brief conversation before they become comfortable enough to want to spend one-on-one time with you. And no, she doesn’t want to see your penis yet.  She knows what penises look like, and no matter how awesome yours is, she’s seen one before, and seeing a picture of yours really isn’t going to make it more likely that she’ll be touching it. Unless of course she explicitly asks for one, then have fun!

 

In short, just exchanging a couple of messages or a brief conversation at an event aren’t going to make you stand out. It takes time to make a connection, and until you do, you’re just another guy who has hit on her that month.

 

  1. Being a decent person makes you stand out.

 

It’s a sad reality. Between the catfishers, scammers and the guys who want to meet “at your place” within five minutes of first contact, women who have spent any time online have seen and heard it all.  Now, you’re a Duckling which means you’re a decent person, right?

 

So show it.

 

Don’t bring up sex out of context. Listen to her. Be a friend.

 

And seriously, a lot of guys have passed those tests, been ok during the “let’s meet” date, and then shot themselves in the foot by assuming that first meeting would end with a quick blowjob.

 

Don’t be that guy – they are unbelievably common. Some women are actually on-edge during a first meetup because they are bracing for the sudden and unwelcome sound of a zipper being undone. Guys who find a way to make it clear that they aren’t “that guy” will have a much better time. The blowjobs will come later.

 

 

  1. She knows that you know that she has boobs. You don’t need to talk about them.

 

It seems to happen less often now than in the early days of online chat/dating, but its still an issue – at some point early in the online conversation, the guy will ask about bra size or ask for a boob pic.

 

Sure, maybe it works sometimes. But as a general lesson – mentioning her boobs in any way makes it less likely that you’ll get to touch them.

 

Women want to be lusted over, but it can’t be indiscriminate. They want you to like their boobs, but they don’t want to be treated like a collection of sexual body parts. Its complicated, but its all part of people wanting to have an actual connection.  Ducklings seek that connection. Make that connection, and good things will happen. And it may not be with the first women (or the third) that you meet, but it will happen.

 

  1. She’s not going to be impressed, so don’t bother trying.

 

This one’s complicated.  Firstly, know that you’re quite likely not going to be the most accomplished guy she’s ever spoken to. Yes, she wants to know that you’re a functioning adult who won’t need to borrow money. But beyond that, let your personal qualities speak for themselves.

 

Yes, many women will want a guy who can at least fit in and can afford their share of a winter getaway. Respect that.

 

But, coming from a guy who was married to a former NHL spouse, trust me – you’re not going to impress her with money or the circles you’ve been in. I would have been a fool to try. The truly valuable quality is what I mentioned earlier – being a decent person and be the person you’re projecting yourself to be (more about that later).

 

Remember that no matter how subtle you think your bragging is, she’s heard it before and sees right through it.  Besides, different women are impressed by different things; trust her to figure that out for herself.

 

  1. There isn’t a girl shortage

 

This comes down to both not being a jerk if she says “no”, and not wasting your own time with someone where the connection isn’t really going to happen. You can’t force it.

 

There truly are a lot of women looking for a connection, and this article just touches on why they have a hard time finding a match. I’m convinced that there are more available women than there are guys who “get it”. What this boils down to is that if you behave like a decent person, then there is a woman for you. She might not be one of the first ten you flirt with, but she’s out there. Knowing this makes it much easier to move on if she’s not interested.

 

Face it – if you’ve had significant interaction with someone and you’re still unsure if she’s into you or not, she likely isn’t. Move on gracefully and don’t become “that guy” with a reputation as a pest.

 

  1. Be true to yourself – don’t adopt kinks and alt lifestyles just as a means to meet women

 

Submissive women see it all the time: Men who have self-declared as dominant, bought a leather hat, and let it be known they’d like to partner with submissive women. The experienced women see right through it. They all have stories of the guys who couldn’t lead a dog to their food dish who have decided that being a dom is their best route to sexual adventure.

 

Don’t be that guy. A Dom-Sub relationship puts the sub’s emotional and physical security at risk if it isn’t led by someone who gets it. Real damage can be done by people who don’t understand the dynamic and who don’t realize the relationship is really about the sub’s need.

 

The same requirement for authenticity applies for people declaring that they are poly or a swinger. None of this rules out experimentation – just declare your curiosity up front and you will learn the right way what’s for you while minimizing hurt feelings (or worse).

 

 

Interestingly, these six lessons mesh nicely with the Duckling mantra. Be authentic. Be nice. Be social. Respect boundaries. Whether on the new Duckling Dating site, other online dating sites, or at events, these lessons won’t guarantee that you’ll meet someone, but they will help you stand out.

 

Men encounter their own issues with women during the “finding someone” phase. It is definitely a struggle. By being a decent and authentic true version of yourself and not treating women as a collection of body parts or a kind outlet, then you’re well on your way to standing out above the crowd.

So besides Duckling dating spend the $500 and specific, engaged online dating coaching during Covid with Canada’s leading Sex Therapist Sue McGarvie. She will write your ad, help you with pictures, coach you on what to say, where to put it and how to connect with someone in real life. It’s time to do something about it. Reach out to Sue now.

 

 

 

My parents met in high school. My grandparents were next door neighbors. 200 years ago you only had people in your village as potential partners. Now the world is your oyster. And there are dating sites that reflect that. In fact there are hundreds of sites with tens of thousands of profiles. Finding a partner can be daunting.
But even with a huge glut of people to choose from so many individuals are still single. I really get it. As a relationship therapist, one of the most common questions I get in my practice is “How and where (in God’s green earth) can I find a partner?” It can be frustrating, time consuming, and as one woman said to me recently “a soul crushing experience”.
It doesn’t have to be. The truth is that there are set skills and insights that can make finding that special someone a lot easier. It starts with identifying what you want out of a partner and where you have had challenges in the past. Are you looking for a kind person who understands you and that you can bring to your office Christmas party? An intelligent person who looks good and likes sex? Do you want a soul mate or magical relationship?
If you’ve not thought about these things in relation to your next partner it may be time. Find your sexy self and where you’ve been stuck in the past. Get beyond the “just friends” mantra or understand why you only seem to be attracted to the “wrong kind of partners”. It’s time to take action.
I have an online program that will have you meeting your perfect partner in 3 months.
It’s usually not a long, drawn-out, talk-about-your-mother kind of process.
$225 for the whole package. Here’s what you get:

You get three 30 minute sessions with me (they usually run $80 for 30 minutes but these are reduced to $50). We will figure out what you are really looking for in a partner,

You get a FREE 6 month membership in Ducklingdating.com the newest, most authentic dating site around.

Duckling Dating authentic connecting within a kind, sexy community

Duck dating is  a new model, open to everyone, fun, sexy, local, verified

It makes dating warm and safe.

Tied to real events and belong to a group who wants to get to know you!

I run a successful date night group   that has it’s own online dating portal. It’s vetted, relevant, authentic, kind, and effective.
As part of the counseling, there is homework each session, and the goal is to figure out what’s holding you back, what kind of baggage you are carrying, and what exactly does a life partner look like for you? It’s a four pronged approach of self-awareness, clarity of what you are looking for, best way to hit a target you can see, and implementing a plan of action.
It is also important to figure out how you want to share your life with someone. And then we pull the trigger and make it happen. You commit to the process and I commit to pulling out all of the stops to get you comfortably finding love again. I’m offering up a special package that includes understanding past relationships, figuring out what you really want from a partner, writing ads, putting you up on the  blended sites, and coaching through the process all for a mere $225. It’s a three week plan and we have you meeting a life partner (whatever model you desire within 3 months).
Make some changes in your life now.
If your life is missing a partner (or partners if you are poly) and you are serious about wanting to find intimacy and love, try specific, accredited experienced therapy. This is dating coaching plus relationship counseling and problem solving all in one. Buy it now!