Welcome, dear readers, to an exploration of the fascinating world of love languages and how they apply to the often enchanting, sometimes perplexing, realm of intimate relationships. We all have unique ways of expressing and receiving love, and understanding your love language can profoundly impact your connection with your partner. So, let’s dive into “The ABCs of Love Languages in the Bedroom” and discover how our preferences for affectionate communication translate to passionate moments.

A – Acts of Service:

For those who speak the language of Acts of Service, love in the bedroom often involves acts of tender devotion and pampering. This might mean preparing a soothing bubble bath for your partner or surprising them with a relaxing massage. Remember, love is in the little gestures!

B – Beautiful Words of Affection:

In the boudoir, lovers fluent in the language of Words of Affection excel at showering their partners with sweet nothings and poetic declarations of love. They know that seduction begins with whispers of desire and ends in an enchanting symphony of heartfelt words.

C – Quality Time:

When it comes to quality time in the bedroom, these lovers cherish the intimacy of being physically and emotionally present with their partners. Whether it’s a slow, lingering gaze or a shared laugh in the afterglow, they revel in the closeness they experience together.

D – Physical Touch:

Ah, the language of Physical Touch, where love is expressed through sensuous caresses, tender embraces, and playful tickles. For these lovers, the language of love is most vividly spoken through the power of touch.

E – Receiving Gifts:

Those fluent in the language of Receiving Gifts find delight in expressing their affection through thoughtful presents. A carefully chosen token of love can ignite sparks and leave an indelible mark on intimate moments.

F – Acts of Playfulness:

This language of love brings an element of fun and playfulness to the bedroom. From pillow fights to spontaneous tickle wars, the key is never taking themselves too seriously and relishing in the joy of being together.

G – Acts of Humor:

For those who appreciate humor in the bedroom, laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac. They crack jokes, share amusing anecdotes, and find ways to bring smiles to each other’s faces in the most intimate of moments.

H – Acts of Adventure:

In the language of Acts of Adventure, intimacy is about exploring uncharted territories together. Trying new positions, introducing role play, or even experimenting with adult toys can keep the excitement alive and the flames burning bright.

I – Emotional Vulnerability:

In the bedroom, emotional intimacy is the truest form of connection for those who speak the language of Emotional Vulnerability. Sharing fears, desires, and dreams with their partner deepens the bond and fosters trust.

J – Acts of Trust:

For these lovers, trust is an integral part of the bedroom experience. They value open communication and a safe space to share their deepest desires, knowing they are in a judgment-free zone.

K – Acts of Creativity:

Creative lovers use their imagination to make the bedroom a realm of wonder and delight. From crafting intimate scavenger hunts to inventing unique pet names, they infuse magic into every moment.

Let’s remember that understanding and embracing our partner’s love language can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling intimate relationships. Communication, respect, and a willingness to explore each other’s unique expressions of love are the keys to unlocking a world of passion, joy, and lasting connections.

Intimacy is a beautiful and essential aspect of any romantic relationship. It’s a space where two individuals can connect on a deeply emotional and physical level. However, while exploring intimacy with your partner, it’s crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. These boundaries ensure that both partners feel safe, respected, and comfortable throughout their shared sexual experiences.

Boundaries act as personal guidelines that define what feels acceptable and comfortable for each individual within a relationship. When it comes to intimacy, setting boundaries is essential as it allows you to communicate your needs, desires, and limits. Boundaries empower both partners to express their preferences and ensure that consent is continuously given and respected. They are a great way to lead a conversation into new experiences, and are overall your best friend when it comes to comfort!

Prioritze Open Communication

Establishing effective communication is key to setting and maintaining intimacy boundaries. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where both partners can openly express their desires, concerns, and limits. Encourage each other to share your thoughts, expectations, and fantasies, fostering a deep understanding of each other’s needs. Regularly check in with your partner to ensure that boundaries are respected and that both individuals are comfortable and satisfied. It doesn’t have to be a dry, cut and paste conversation, allow yourself to really invest in your partner’s needs, communication is sexy!

Reflect on your Comfort Zone

Before engaging in any sexual activity, it’s crucial to reflect on your own comfort zones and limitations. Take the time to understand what feels pleasurable, what makes you uncomfortable, and what your hard limits are. This self-reflection allows you to communicate your boundaries to your partner effectively. Remember, boundaries can be fluid and may change over time. Regular self-reflection and open communication with your partner are essential in maintaining a healthy and evolving sexual relationship.

Seek Consent and Respect

Consent is the foundation of any healthy sexual relationship. Establish a clear understanding with your partner that consent is required for every sexual act, regardless of your history or level of intimacy. Consent should be enthusiastic, ongoing, and freely given. Both partners must feel comfortable to say “no” or “stop” at any point. Respect your partner’s boundaries and never pressure or coerce them into doing something they are not comfortable with.

Set Clear and Specific Boundaries

Setting clear and specific boundaries is crucial in creating a safe and respectful sexual environment. Discuss and agree upon what actions, activities, or scenarios are within each partner’s comfort zone. This could include discussing specific acts, preferences for contraception, boundaries related to nudity, or any other relevant topics or situations. Being specific and explicit helps ensure that both partners have a shared understanding of each other’s boundaries. While telling a white lie to your grandma about how much you loved her fruit cake at dinner is nice, it doesn’t translate to how you need to communicate with your intimate parnter.

Be Mindful of Non-Verbal Cues

Non-verbal cues play a vital role in understanding your partner’s comfort levels during sex and foreplay. Pay close attention to their body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor. Check for signs of discomfort, hesitation, or withdrawal. If you notice any such cues, pause and provide a safe space for your partner to express their concerns or preferences. Discomfort does not foster a happy, fun, and sexy enviornment, so check in to make sure everyone is having a good time!

Establishing intimacy boundaries within a sexual relationship is an integral part of building trust, respect, and understanding between partners. Remember that setting and maintaining boundaries is an ongoing process that requires regular reflection and communication. Embrace the power of healthy boundaries, and embark on a journey towards more intimate, fulfilling, and HOT relationships.

Hey there, contraception connoisseurs! Let’s dive into an exciting topic that’s breaking all the stereotypes: male contraceptives. Move over, ladies, because it’s time for the gents to take the wheel in family planning. Buckle up as we explore the fascinating world of male-centric birth control options that are revolutionizing the game.

Gentlemen, listen up! We’ve come a long way from just condoms and snipping the ol’ tubes. The contraceptive revolution is here, and it’s targeting your swimmers. Scientists are on a roll, exploring all sorts of methods, from a pill form of male birth control to non-hormonal trickery, to keep those little guys at bay. Imagine gels, implants, and patches – all designed to ensure you have control over your reproductive destiny. It’s time to share the contraceptive superhero cape with your partners and embark on a wild ride of contraceptive choices.

The benefits of male contraceptives are many. No more stress when it comes to accidental pregnancies. You’ll have an extra layer of protection in your toolbox, which means more peace of mind for both you and your partner(s). Plus, taking an active role in contraception strengthens the bond between you and your significant other, fostering trust and communication. It’s a win-win situation that lets you navigate the highway of family planning together. Part of the stress of navigating female birth control is the hormonal and potentially medically vicious side effects they have. Contributing to the work of preventing unplanned pregnancies is a two-way street! Join in on the conversation, and explore options for yourself as well.

You may have heard about the Dyson award-winning invention, COSO, a German invention by Rebecca Weiss. It is essentially a jacuzzi for your testicles and uses heat and ultrasound to immobilize the sperm. It is a temporary method and doesn’t last longer than 6 months before you need to heat the meat again, so if you do later want kids, that’s still an option!

So, gentlemen, get ready to be the true captains of your reproductive ship. With male contraceptives on the rise, you can finally have a say in the contraception dance. As we tackle the challenges head-on and spread the word, a future filled with more choices, stronger relationships, and worry-free family planning is just around the corner. It’s time to make birth control blissful for everyone involved!

One time, I asked Sue how to deal with jealousy that I was experiencing within my relationship. It was harmful to me, my partner, and our relationship. But, Sue told me something that has stuck with me and has really helped. She said, right now my jealousy feels like a dinosaur and it feels so painful and hard. Soon my jealousy will feel like an elephant, a hippo, a rhino, a bison, a lion, dog, cat, mouse, fly, gnat. She said most importantly, sit with your emotions, allow yourself to feel discomfort, it is natural and normal. From this conversation, I have learned a lot.

In the realm of romantic relationships, jealousy can be a challenging emotion to grapple with. It has the power to create rifts, erode trust, and disrupt the harmony between two people who care deeply for one another. However, when approached with kindness, understanding, and open communication, jealousy can become an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. In this blog post, we will explore some gentle strategies for handling jealousy within a relationship, fostering an environment of love, trust, and support.

The first step in addressing jealousy is to cultivate empathy. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. Jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity or fear of losing the love and attention of our significant other. By acknowledging and validating your partner’s emotions, you create a safe space for them to express their concerns and fears without judgment.

Clear and honest communication is vital when dealing with jealousy. Encourage your partner to share their feelings openly, and listen with compassion and patience. Instead of becoming defensive, try to understand the underlying reasons behind their jealousy. Express your commitment to the relationship and assure them of your love and dedication. By talking openly about jealousy, you can work together to find constructive solutions.

Building trust is essential in overcoming jealousy. Make a conscious effort to be transparent with your partner. Share your thoughts, experiences, and interactions with others, ensuring that there are no hidden secrets or misunderstandings. Encourage your partner to do the same. When trust is nurtured through openness and honesty, jealousy often loses its grip, allowing your relationship to flourish.

Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial to addressing jealousy effectively. Discuss and define what is acceptable within your relationship, including topics such as personal space, friendships, and social interactions. By setting mutually agreed-upon boundaries, you create a framework of trust and respect that helps alleviate jealousy. Respect each other’s boundaries and consistently reaffirm your commitment to respecting them.

Jealousy can often arise from a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Encourage your partner to engage in activities that boost their self-worth and self-belief. Support their personal growth and remind them of their unique qualities and strengths. By cultivating self-confidence individually, you both contribute to a healthier relationship dynamic, reducing the occurrence of jealousy.

A surefire way to counteract jealousy is by celebrating each other’s successes. Jealousy can be fueled by a fear of being left behind or not measuring up to your partner’s achievements. Instead of feeling threatened, be genuinely happy and proud of your partner’s accomplishments. Offer encouragement, praise, and support. By celebrating together, you reinforce the idea that you are a team, and success for one is a victory for both.

Navigating jealousy in a relationship is a delicate process that requires patience, understanding, and open communication. By approaching jealousy with kindness, empathy, and a genuine desire to strengthen your connection, you can transform it into an opportunity for personal growth and a deeper bond with your partner. Remember, love, trust, and support are the pillars on which healthy relationships are built. Embrace these principles, and together, you can overcome jealousy and create a relationship filled with love, understanding, and harmony.

Want to hear more about this topic? Listen to episode 14 of Sue’s podcast “Sex with Sue and Ryan… and Adam: Jealousy and Ex-Partners.”

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June has been dubbed “Pride Month,” to recognize the Stonewall riots in June of ’69 (read more about that here). Today Pride Month means a few things: often there are many pride parades happening across the world, a time to recognize the trials and tribulations that the LGBTQ+ community has been through and what they still are going through, a moment to celebrate the accomplishments of LGBTQ+ individuals, and for many large corporations, it is a time to profit off of rainbow merchandise. However, with all this being said, being an ally is not limited to only June. Here are just a few ways you can continue to be an ally throughout the year…..

  1. Respect pronouns and names
    • In English grammar a pronoun is a word we use when talking about a person, rather than their name, “she,” “her,” “they,” “he,” etc. In the course of a person’s life, sometimes the pronouns they prefer change. This is completely normal. Who we are from the time we are born to when we die does not stay the same, so it is understandable that our gender expression may change too. Whatever pronoun someone tells you they use, do your best to respect them and use this pronoun. If someone changes their name, use this name.
  2. If you don’t understand, do research
    • It can get quite exhausting for an LGBTQ+ person to constantly explain what certain things mean. They had to learn for themselves, so you can too! Google is your best friend. Though take what you read from the internet with a grain of salt. Try to get information from multiple reliable sources. If you gain knowledge on your own, the LGBTQ+ people in your life will likely be more willing and ready to have conversations with you on the topic you’re confused about.
  3. Their relationships are just as valid as yours
    • LGBTQ+ relationships are totally valid and meaningful, just like any other relationships out there. Love doesn’t care about societal norms or who you’re attracted to. It’s all about that deep connection, shared experiences, and supporting each other through thick and thin. When we recognize the validity of LGBTQ+ relationships, we’re promoting equality and inclusivity. Let’s celebrate love in all its beautiful forms, standing with those who choose to love whoever makes their heart happy.
  4. Support your local queer businesses
    • Supporting queer and trans businesses is super important for creating an inclusive society. It’s all about giving opportunities to LGBTQ+ entrepreneurs, providing safe spaces, and shaking up the status quo. When we get behind these businesses, we’re not only empowering marginalized communities, but we’re also sending a loud and clear message of acceptance and embracing diversity. So, let’s actively show our support and invest in queer and trans businesses to shape a better future for everyone.
  5. Treat LGBTQ+ people as you would anyone else, they are human beings and deserve love, respect, and kindness just like anyone

His wife signed him up as something they could do together.

He has a two hour commute so he decided to listen to audio books on his drive rather than read them. Occasionally he had his co-workers in the back of the car which made for interesting conversation.

An Italian from the New Jersey shore he listened to every slang word possible for dicks, vagina’s and sex.

He rolled his eyes at the character in Wetlands talking about slicing off an anal hemorrhoid.

And he cracked us up in the Zoom book club with people all over North America discussing erotic BDSM while trying to imagine the knots they were tying.

If you like smut, want to make friends, and enjoy free books, conversation and laughter than consider joining our FREE Pervy Book club on the second Sunday of the month at 7 pm EST.

We will even send you the books to read at no charge.

And through this you make friends.

We met our jersey couple on a recent trip to Somers Point and they took us to the boardwalk and showed us the best places for fried clams and Jersey style bagels.

We’ve got some hot books to share, some great conversation, and some new friends to make. It’s not your Mother’s book club.

Meeting link for July 9th Meeting ID: 862 0570 4931

Meeting ID for Aug 13th

880 7527 9364

Join us!

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Let’s up your Sex IQ

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I’ve become an expert in the male penis despite not having one. Sure I’ve played with my share but this is about the psychology of penis size. It started as a young therapist working in an STI clinic in downtown Ottawa in the 80’s well before the advent of the internet. There were so many different sizes, shapes and a large number of men would ask how they measured up.

They all wanted suggestions for how they could make it bigger.

Flash forward to private practice where I had men calling from Autralia, the south China sea, Italy, fishing camps in Alaska and from Santiago and other parts of South America wanting counseling on their penis sizes.

Some of them wanted to come to terms with their size. Some had so much sexualized humiliation that teasing about their penis became fetishized and was now eroitc. Some wanted a description of the tools that might actually work to increse size.

Besides talking to men going through procedures (everything from implants, soundwaves, injections, fillers and more) into their junk to help them understand the what and the why’s.

It’s such an all consuming issue. Have a read of the story of one of my clients.

“My name is Jack and, on the surface, I have a really great life.  By most accounts you would say I’ve made a success of my life.  I have a great job, lost of friends and money to explore the world and live life to the fullest.

I seemed to be a happy bachelor and living my best life.  However, as good as I seemed to have it, I was struggling.  I didn’t have sex at all.  I had tried once in the past when I was in my final year of high school, I dated a pretty girl at my school and eventually we were ready to have sex.  The scene was set, her parents were away and we were all set.  Once we were naked and I was making my move she looked down at my penis and asked if I needed help getting hard.  I told her I was hard.  Her eyes widened and she said I don’t think this is going to work.  I still remember how humiliated I was.  I knew I wasn’t big but I didn’t think it would go like this.  I got up and got dressed and left and never spoke to her again. 

For years, I didn’t have sex; I desperately wanted a girlfriend and to be sexual with someone but I just couldn’t imagine a repeat of that night.”

I can talk him through much of the trauma and help him re-frame it but how do you actually solve it?

There is a blog forum talking about the “yank” (which looks like a medievial torture rack) that stretches your penis for up to 6 hours a day. I can olny imagine it’s like being in the world’s most uncomfortable bra and corset. My clients describe the relief in taking it off.

So what actually works????

If you are considering some kind of procedure have a read of these articles about it. Do your homework. Get some counselling.

Feel free to send me an email and I’ll send you my list of penis enlargement treatments from non-intrusive to very complicated and risky.

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Relationships are dynamic, and as individuals, our needs and desires can evolve over time. It’s not uncommon for partners to consider exploring the concept of an open relationship to meet those evolving needs. However, broaching the subject can be daunting, as it requires open and honest communication. In this blog, we’ll explore some valuable tips on how to start a constructive dialogue with your partner about the possibility of opening your relationship.

  1. Reflect on Your Motivations: Before initiating the conversation, take the time to reflect on your motivations and understand them clearly. It’s important to be honest with yourself about why you’re considering an open relationship. Is it due to a desire for more variety, a need for personal growth, or the wish to explore specific aspects of your sexuality? This way, you’ll be better equipped to express them to your partner.
  2. Timing and Environment: Choosing the right time and environment to have a conversation about opening your relationship is crucial. Make sure that you and your partner are both in the right frame of mind and environment.
  3. Practice Active Listening: Approach the conversation with a genuine desire to understand your partner’s perspective. Giving your full attention, maintain eye contact, and refrain from interrupting. Make sure your partner feels heard, validated, and understood.
  4. Be Honest and Vulnerable: Opening up about your desires can make you feel vulnerable, but it’s essential for a healthy dialogue. Clearly express your feelings and intentions while maintaining honesty and authenticity. Be prepared for a range of emotions from your partner, including surprise, confusion, or even concern. Approach the conversation with empathy, as your partner’s emotions and concerns are valid and should be addressed respectfully.
  5. Clarify Boundaries and Expectations: When discussing an open relationship, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and expectations together. This will ensure that both partners feel secure and have a mutual understanding of what is acceptable within the agreed-upon framework. Discuss aspects such as physical intimacy, emotional connections, frequency of communication, and potential limitations on activities or partners. These boundaries may also change for either one of you, be open to this concept
  6. Seek Support and Guidance: Opening your relationship can be a complex journey, so seeking support and guidance is beneficial. Consider talking to someone like Sue McGarvie, a relationship counselor or therapist who specializes in non-monogamous relationships. They can provide valuable insights and facilitate open discussions between you and your partner, helping navigate the potential challenges that may arise.
  7. Patience and Respect: Remember that embarking on an open relationship is a process that requires time, patience, and understanding. Be respectful of your partner’s feelings and emotions, as they may need time to process the idea and adjust to the new dynamic. Avoid pressuring or coercing your partner into accepting an open relationship if they are not comfortable with the idea. Mutual consent and respect are essential for any successful relationship.
  8. Prioritize Your Relationship: In the journey of opening your relationship, remember to prioritize your partnership. While exploring new dynamics, keep your primary relationship as the foundation and focus on nurturing your love and connection. Regularly communicate, address concerns, and prioritize each other’s emotional well-being. Go on date nights, they are so important! The goal is to enhance and strengthen your bond, not replace it. With love and support as your compass, navigate the joys and challenges of non-monogamy together.
  9. Consent: Consent is always key! Always go about your relationships and sexual activities with consent in mind.

If you want more info about this topic check out episode 13 Sue’s podcast, Sex With Sue… and Adam: Types of Non-Monogamy

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When the word “pleasure” comes to mind, it often evokes thoughts of indulging in either food or sex. Why not merge the two? After all, both food and sex are intertwined explorations of sensation, with the common goal of seeking pleasure or filling a natural human need. If humans have five senses, why not include them all when attempting to reach the pinnacle of pleasure? 

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They say that things are bigger in Texas.

They certainly are girthier.

I had a fantastic conversation with Dr. Bill Moore of Phallofill on my Turned On the Podcast about the fillers he uses to make penises all over North America more substantial. It turns you in to a shower, makes a thud when you roll over on the bed, and doesn’t interfere with erections or sexual functioning.

Have a listen to the interview. Ask for information and they will send you before and after pictures.

Apparently lost of people have tried but they are the first group I’ve found that does it safely and doesn’t have the lymph in the penis cleaning it out after a few months. He has a trick of injecting it between the fascia layers that augments your dick for 5 or 6 years.

The before and after pictures are jaw dropping.

I’m hoping to head down there and watch the process first hand.

I think it will make a killer Duckling video. I have shot videos of dominatrixes, women offering each other cunnilingus examples, BJ training and more. It’s free when you are a Duck and follow this site.