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Common fantasies during lock down. How to keep it hot despite living in sweat pants

There is a great article about how using common fantasies to keep you mentally and sexually healthy. It talks about using sex as a source of meditation, and fantasies as a way to soothe yourself when your sex life is less than robust. I am currently working on a erotic short story collection from my date night group the Ducklings that has garnered way more interest than it would if we weren’t in lock down.

Fantasies (everything from Bridgerton to erotic stories) are on the rise during the pandemic. According to an April study from the Kinsey Institute of 1,559 adults that investigated how the pandemic is impacting our sex lives, it seems many are indeed getting imaginative.

“Some of the fantasies that topped the list in terms of frequency were things like previous sexual experiences, getting non-sexual needs met, breaking lockdown or quarantine orders to have sex, and sex with exes,” says Kristen Mark, PhD, a sex researcher involved in the Kinsey Institute’s ongoing study of sex and relationships in the time of COVID and advisor to sexual coaching app Coral. “Those top fantasies aren’t necessarily different from pre-COVID, but what’s different is that someone who may normally fantasize about super-graphic sexual stuff may find themselves fantasizing about getting their emotional needs met or more romantic kissing scenes, and vice versa.”

When clients come to see me as a Sex Therapist it’s passion they are longing to increase. The challenge is that passion thrives with a bit of mystery, space, creativity, and looking our sexy bests. These things are in short supply when we are spending 24/7 together in our yoga pants. I talk about how keeping sex spicy 5, 10, 15 years in requires work & mindfulness. You can’t treat your sex life casually and expect it to keep the passion up decades later. Dealing with kids, having no time for sex, and feeling disconnected in my first marriage taught me how important it was to be attentive to desire & fantasy in my relationships. And I talk about sex for a living.

Here’s what I do to maintain the sexual spontaneity.

  1. Have a budget for sex toys. I spend $60 a month at pink cherry (mainly in their blowout section) and it keeps a constant supply of new, crazy & creative things in my closet to try.
  2. I schedule sex. I send my partner (who is often working in the next room) a meeting invite for sex. Anything important in my life I schedule.
  3. Erotic bedtime stories with your partner. We schedule a reading virtual every third Sunday. Join in.
  4. Stay clean. Hygiene is vitally important for most people – especially women. If you are showered we will want to jump you.
  5. Coconut oil is your friend. Moisture triggers women to want to be sexual. As do erections with men. Consider a virtual call to your doctor for some Cialis or Viagra  if ED has crept into your sex life. They really work for most men.
  6. Write down some fantasies. See if you can talk about them with your partner or at least leave them out for them to read.
  7. If you are without your partner (or don’t have one) make sure masturbation and thinking about sex is part of your weekly routine. There is loads of truth to the adage of “use it or lose it”.
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28 days of sexy Covid lock down. Suggestions to keep things steamy while isolating

Covid has changed everything this year.  It’s changed my practice (from face to face to virtual), it’s changed my social group (check out the Ducklings website for our virtual events), and it has amplified whatever is going on in relationships. For some it’s a “staycation”. For others it’s a hostage situation.

But for couples who are spending more time together at home, the lockdown is more than just a chance to binge-watch a random Netflix series.  It’s a chance to get sexy together.

Women more than men have an optimal “sex time” of the day. With everyone around all day,  taking a moment for a nooner, some afternoon delight or mid-morning romps is at an all-time high. But how do you make it more than regular “meat & potatoes” sex?

I’m in lock down too and I have some up with a list of fun things you can do during your time inside. Some of it involves some inexpensive kit. I buy my toys from Pink Cherry as they are regularly much cheaper than elsewhere online – and they give me loyalty points.

So here is my list. And in this area I am walking the walk. While some experiences are better than others (and that’s a matter of a number of arousing variables) it’s great to try new things. So “on the eighth day of lockdown my true love did to me…”

Stay safe everyone.

Day 1. Go for a ride. Someone on top with a vibrating cockring.

Day 2. Cialis & morning wood. Try the scissor position for something new.

Day 3. Blindfold, ballgag, & blowjob

Day 4. Cosmo game. Pull a card and do exactly what it tell you to do.

Day 5. Shower sex. Do interesting things with soap.

Day 6. Apron on & nothing else. Use a different part of the body to get off. I have great success grinding against knees.

Day 7. Football handjob

Day 8. Wooden spoon on a bare bum. Paddle until you are pink & sensitized. Orgasm at will

Day 9. Reverse cowgirl with his shoulders on a chair, hips raised in a bridge pose

 

Day 10. Squirting pad and fisted in the morning.

Day 11. Rope bondage (easy to access at any open hardware store). Tied up and no place to go.

Day 12. Fantasy jar. Write at least 3 things each that you would like to try and read them together over your morning coffee.

Day 13. Get a little rough. Pulling hair, light scratching, pillow fight. See where it goes.

Day 14. Watch each other masturbate.

Day 15. Anal play. Lube, baby wipes, and use one finger with gentle tease the opening.

Day 16. Massage exchange

Day 17. Make a sex tape or take some nudes. Just for your eyes only.

Day 18. Sex and food. Maple syrup, whipped cream, cucumbers etc.

Day 19. Heat up some sex candles. Wax play can be very exciting.

Day 20. Challenge your partner to a game of strip poker or strip shots.

Day 21. Order a sex toy you’ve never tried. And may I suggest adding a pair of nipple clamps to the order?

Day 22. Try talking dirty. I like reading an erotic passage. That way I can say the words but it doesn’t come from me.

Day 23.  Porn watching together. See if you can find three clips on pornhub or ehamster that you both like.

Day 24. Go for a drive in the car and have car sex!

Day 25.  Take a sex quiz together. I think this one is the best of a bunch as it send your partner your answer by email.

Day 26. Turn off all the lights. Watch each other by candlelight only. Take some washable markers and draw on your partner’s body in the flickering lights.

Day 27. Go down on your partner while they are on a work call. Bonus points if they are on a Zoom call.

Day 28.  Seduce your partner. Striptease, dress up, nibble at their neck & try to distract them.

After lockdown you may be able to go the sex shop, go out to other places besides the grocery & drug store etc.

Check out what the Ducklings are doing and see if maybe there is a virtual event that may get your juices flowing.

 

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The new Hex condom by Lelo – condoms re-engineered

hex1
In the early 1990’s I was a newly graduated Sex Therapist and just starting on radio. One of my radio sponsors was a major condom company. Grosses of condoms were delivered to my office and I gave them out at speeches, during sex education classes, and in abundance during frosh weeks at Colleges and Universities. I did condom water toss games, used them in a blindfold game on slippery dildos, and threw them to people across cafeterias. One of my favourite activities was to show how easy it was to break or denature the condoms by rolling them up to your shoulder or covering them with oil. The kids in my life grew to think that all balloons came with a reservoir tip. It was great, and I spent lots of time with latex of all colours.
But the truth about latex is that using condoms isn’t nearly as much fun as having no condoms when you are going to have hard, sweaty intercourse. Flavoured rubbers, with extra lubricant, ribbed and extra sensitive all help with increasing the pleasure, but there is still a noticeable barrier. My partner really does insist “he feels no sensation at all using condoms and it really is like wearing a raincoat”. Not having a penis, I take his (and the thousands of other men I’ve spoken to over the last 20 odd years about sex) word that condoms can limit the sensuality of the experience.
The female perspective is that semen can be cool. Messy but cool. We may ejaculate, but we don’t make semen. Semen has been proven to do a number of positive things. One ejaculate of semen contains over 200 proteins, vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12 and zinc. And condoms by their nature of blocking the transmission of fluids limits the fun and beneficial interaction with semen.
So when the Swedish sex toy manufacturer Lelo says they have a new revolutionary condom it generates lots of interest. The condom has been using the same premise and basic shape since the 19thth century. If Lelo can build a better mousetrap while maintaining the benefits of no STI transmission and pregnancy prevention then it is worth a look.
Introducing Hex, the new re-engineered condom by Lelo. When you take it out of the box it certainly looks high tech. Ribbed with little hexagonal shapes all over, it espouses to be stronger than traditional condoms. It rolls on the same as usual and the texture with the raised hexagons while a little different isn’t enough for you to notice anything really unusual if you put it on in the dark.
However, it felt very similar to having no condom for me while in use. It didn’t have that rubbery feeling or the burning sensation you can get from latex, as any woman who has used a cheap, latex vibrator knows. And according to my husband, the hexagons felt different to my partner on the head of the penis. The Hex condoms were less likely to slip, and the material was thinner overall. While he said “he still had limited sensation, it was the best feeling condom ever”. And that’s saying something. As well, we tried really hard to break it. So the Hex condom was stretchy, strong and with a raised shape inside for less slipping. Maybe it is re-engineered. And while I’m not likely to go jumping up and down excitedly and tell everyone who will listen (unlike my first experience with Ora, Lelo’s oral sex toy that is one of the 7 wonders), it made reviewing a condom the way they were actually made to be used a fun and interesting experience. They are selling them online. Try them for yourself and see if you can feel a difference. I would be interested in hearing if you did.
hex

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What's new in Sex! 6 Things to try that you probably haven't attempted in the bedroom.

new3Its hard to find new ideas in sex. Face it, we’ve had the same equipment since we started walking upright. If you’ve read anything I’ve written before then you know how often I preach about the importance of keeping things spicy.
With a 51% divorce rate in North America, it takes real effort to maintain the magic of relationships. Trying new things in the bedroom is one of those key things.
So what’s new?
Glass Ben Wa balls
I love all glass toys. They heat up, they glide beautifully and the look elegant. What they also do is allow you (or your partner) to really take your time. Unlike vibrating toys, glass (or stainless steel) lets you settle in for a long, slow gradual build up. Immerse them in warm water and use them gently in and out of any orifice and feel the tension build. What the glass ben wa balls do is stimulate internally. The glass has a very interesting sensation. Ben wa balls have been made famous in the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. Holding balls vaginally for women increases your muscle tone and helps your orgasm improve. They also get your juices flowing. Put them in and go walk the dog. I guarantee you’ll take the short way home.
Grapefruit blow job
You may have heard about it. Auntie Angel, a sex technique expert from Chicago invented a process fro using a hollowed out grapefruit in lieu of your hand when giving a blowjob. Angel says you need need to blindfold your partner, lie him down on a towel and turn a room-temperature grapefruit into a sex sleeve. Apparently grapefruit feels like oral sex and intercourse at the same time. Angel goes on to say that grapefruit is a fat burner, so you can lose weight while your are preforming oral sex. The only downside can be a slight burning on the urethra (I suggest some vaseline on the tip), and the need for an aggressive shampooing afterwards to get the grapefruit pulp out of his pubic hair (another reason to manscape). Forget kleenex boxes full of hand cream, or even the fleshlight, grapefruit blowjobs are the new milestone.
Watch Auntie Angel explain it here.
Clitoral and nipple pumps
These are the pumps you see in porn videos. The pump draws blood into the genitals and the nipples and causes engorgement. With proper use, you can enlarge and stimulate your clitoris using a high-tech vacuum pump. It utilizes the same concept as traditional penis pumps, and it feels good. These cylinders can also be used to create great stimulation or punishment with higher pressure levels. They engorge your nipples and make them extra sensitive. I recommend you spend the extra money and get the metal pump with the gauge. For both you are looking at close to $175 but I think they really work.
Make your own edible underwear
Really. The store bought ones are really gross licorice that stain your teeth. It’s basically homemade fruit roll ups cut out in an underwear pattern. I rarely wear underwear, but if I did I think the apple ones are super cool. Here are the instructions:
Things You’ll Need
1 bag of apples
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
Large pot
Cooking spray
Baking sheet
Plastic wrap
Kitchen scissors
Pattern
Chopstick
Make Apple Fruit Leather
Start by peeling a bunch of apples and place them in a large stock pot. Add water and boil until it looks like apple sauce. You can add a bit of sugar (1 cup) to make it taste sweet. Simmer for 45 minutes. Spray your baking sheets with cooking spray and spread the contents of the pot onto the sheets. Cook in a dehydrator or on a baking sheet in the oven at 150 degrees for 8 to 10 hours. I know it’s a long time to dry at low heat. Lay out your apple leather on plastic wrap to prevent it from sticking to your countertops. Lay another piece of plastic wrap over the top to keep it clean until your ready cut it.
Cut Your Pattern
Find an underwear pattern by using an old pair, finding a pattern online or at a local fabric store. Line up your underwear pieces and use the pointed end of a chopstick to poke holes in both sides of the edible underwear.
Weave licorice through the holes in the edible underwear to “sew” it together.
Wear and watch the reaction.
Erogenous Zones Sheet
My husband and I use this activity during our couples activities. We put up a large sheet and outline both the front and back of the body. Without looking at each others papers, mark the areas on the body where you think your sweetie likes (and the type, intensity) where they want to be touched. See how close you are to the truth. It allows for discussion and possible experimentation.
Make a couples photo album
Sex takes in all the senses, but none is more powerful than sight. Men especially are visual. Make a sexy couples photo album. Print out some pictures from your phone, pull up some great shots of the two of you when you were just meeting, and add a few sexy shots for their eyes only. What that does is bring back those feelings of falling in love. It gets you excited about making new memories together and really makes you feel like a couple. It will lead to feelings of connection and before you know it, you’re naked.
new pic

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8 tips for spicing things up!

spicing1Tips to keep things hot
It’s the #1 question I get from women over 30. I get constantly asked how to spice up relationships without stepping on landmines. For many people, the thought of having repetitive identical sex with the same partner for the next 30 years causes a decrease in libido, and has couples feeling shut down. I do a workshop with my husband we call “The Loving Hedonist”. It’s all about what’s new in sex. The seminars cover topics such as stepping out of your comfort zone, learning what really turns you on and how express your fantasies and desires safely. More importantly, it’s about understanding that adding creativity in the bedroom is one of the top three things you can do to stem off your chance of becoming one of the 51% of Canadians that divorce. The other two involve communication without stonewalling or contempt, and enhancing bonds of friendship and similar interests.
But what can you do today to spice up your intimacy?
Here is a list of eight suggestions that really work. Pick one and try it this week. Your relationship needs that kind of thought and effort.
1. Have an affair with your partner. Find a motel or hotel that charges by the half day. (Even if they are the kind where you have to pack your own towels) and set up the rendezvous. Or surprise your partner with a lunch date where you can fit in a nooner. Spontaneous sex and different locations are what most people list as memorable when I ask them about the best sex of their lives.
2. Boudoir pictures. Most people (especially men) are stimulated visually. Well done erotic photos pack a huge punch. Either hire a photographer (there are even boudoir groupons) or get a friend to take your photos. Forget the selfies, they never seem to turn out.
3. Have an imaginary threesome. Here are the rules. Sometimes called “monogamish”. Each of you picks out an anonymous person. Someone famous or maybe a server at the restaurant you frequent, but nobody you know well. Discuss together in bed what would happen if the three of you were to get together sexually. Next time select a different person.
4. Go through one of the online toy sites together. I like pinkcherry.com but Amazon has some cheap toys too, as they are both easy to navigate. Find something you both like and order it. The fun can be in the deferred gratification of waiting for the plain, brown package to arrive.
5. Act out a movie scene. Pick a movie that gets your juices racing. 50 Shades of Grey, 9 and ½ weeks or even Pride and Prejudice. Whatever works. You may start giggling but knowing what you like and taking a risk with your sweetie can make it very sexy.
6. Compete with your partner. Pitting yourself against your sweetie can boost your serotonin, attraction and chemistry. Your brain interprets that rush of adrenaline during games as connection to your partner. Anything that boosts your adrenaline bonds you as a couple. I like to suggest crazy things like bungee jumping, whitewater rafting, or sports bets. Even board games work. You can alter a basic jenga game to have blocks that read things like “kiss your partner on an interesting part of their body…”.
7. Try some light bondage. Use a simple cloth tie or try a pillowcase to immobilize them. Have your partner put their arms behind their back in an empty pillowcase and then lie back on the bed. Their body weight will hold their arms in place and allow them easy escape if desired while you touch them all over. If that doesn’t work I have a suggestion for cheap rope tricks that might get their attention.
8. I think those dollar store plastic drop sheets or shower curtains should be in everyone’s toy box. They keep your bed sheets protected while you cover your partner in oil, chocolate sauce, or whipped cream. Use your partner’s body as a base to make a sundae (or any other kind of dessert) as a treat. Then eat the treat without the use of hands.
Consider coming to one of my weekend or four week courses. Investing in your relationship and your sex life pays the best dividends. Check out the Duckling page for activities.

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The new Ora "oral sex toy" from Lelo. Worth checking out.

Back in the 1990’s one of the best sex toys in the world was something that looked like an 18-inch replica of Gene Simmon’s tongue. Invented by a housewife with five kids in the suburbs of Toronto The Tongue by Lady Calston toys was something completely new in the area of women’s romance items. “The idea came to me in the middle of the night” said Darryl Brown, the inventor, during an interview with me in 1993. “Women didn’t need a vibrating penis, what we wanted was a tongue.” She requested that her engineering husband design and manufacture it for women and it was the subject of a number of articles including one in Playgirl (back when people read Playgirl), and Cosmo.
It was funny looking, loud and undulated in a strange way. It was slightly off putting with a large nubby cow-like tongue at the end. But it was the closest thing I had ever found to replicate oral sex. Until now! the tongue
It turns out that just this month LELO launched in the U.S. a new oral-sex simulator that mimics a tongue’s movement with a little “flicking button”. ORA, the newest addition to the Swedish LELO luxury product line is a slight departure from the brand’s typical renditions of couples’ vibrators and “for her” stimulators.
There are so many different kinds of sex toys for women. Walk into any sex shop and you’ll see walls of toys in all colors, shapes and with types of vibration. Women are the focus of the sex toy industry, as opposed to male toys. Male toys are all variations on a tube and a hole with the occasional ring thrown in. But what should women choose when looking for a new toy? If you are a woman who enjoys oral sex (and who doesn’t?), you might want to look into the new Ora to add to your toy collection. This new product is definitely something beyond the same old vibration toy.
Lelo makes sturdy, well-made toys with that usual Swedish practicality. This continues with the Ora. It’s small, circular and easy to handle. It is rechargeable and it comes in a fetching purple color. It both vibrates gently and has a slight bulge at the bottom that moves back and forth in a flicking motion. Place it against your clitoris for any length of time and I guarantee it will start your motor. It is soft enough to be a first toy for women who are little alarmed by the size of most vaginal toys. It certainly doesn’t have the zero to sixty energy of a magic wand or pocket rocket variation, but for a new, unique toy it is a very fun addition to an inquiring woman’s toybox. It certainly held my attention.

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How Monogamy is changing, and changing fast.

A reporter recently asked me “what is the current hot topic in relationships these days?” I said it had to be the question of monogamy and how it is changing for couples. With a 54% divorce rate across the board in North America, you may come to the conclusion that monogamy is a failing experiment. And you may be right. Whether it’s couples who have lost that loving feeling and find themselves drifting into thoughts of others that may be threatening their monogamous relationship; the urge to wander seems to be rampant. I’m hearing daily of many people trying more sexual experimentation (individually or together) outside of their marriage. This question of curiosity or desire to step out on a traditional relationship has seem to become far more vocal over the last year. Monogamy it seems, is an institution under threat. How to negotiate or contract changes to a monogamous relationship is the hot topic de jour in my practice. So what does negotiating monogamy mean? How is Monogamy defined by couples? Is there a well articulated understanding what each partner expects and desires in terms of changing monogamy and in terms of the sexual life they want to have?
There is a great Ted Talk on Huffington Post this month by the sex therapy guru Esther Perel talking about the Passion Paradox. She asks the questions:
Why does good sex so often fade, even in couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?
– Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex?
– Can we want what we already have?
– Why does the transition to parenthood so often deliver a fatal erotic blow to the couple?
– And why is the forbidden so erotic?
– When you love, how do you feel, and when you desire, how is it different?
Love and desire, they relate but they also conflict. And herein lies the mystery of eroticism. How we straddle our drive for connection and closeness with our quest for separateness and freedom is at the core of reconciling intimacy and sexuality, otherwise called the domestic and the erotic.”
It turns out that Perel thinks its modern life that’s to blame. We want our partners to give us stability and passion, a sense of belonging and while having a respect for our individuality. I say that “it’s impossible for one person to meet all of your needs”. It’s too much to ask of anyone. But can one person meet all of our sexual needs? Maybe, if we are on the same page sexually. The challenge comes when couples have differing sexual appetites for amounts, variations, and what they find erotic. In a modern North American culture, we still are trying to find a way to have that one person fit that ever-changing box of desire. From an evolutionary biology point of view that isn’t how we evolved. I try to explain that men are biologically attracted to newness and are trying to impregnate every women they come across. Women put out bonding hormones when they are sexually active and need to have a emotionally secure primary relationship in order to even contemplate sexual variation. I tell women that in 25 years as a therapist I have met only five women that I think can have inconsequential sex without getting their emotions in play.
The argument is that we have higher cortex functioning and can stop ourselves from wanting what we can’t have. I think we can do it for awhile but sitting on our hands becomes increasingly difficult if fundamental sexual needs aren’t being met. I liken it to dieting. If you go without food for awhile you can guarantee that you will gorge on high fat food at your first opportunity. And if needs aren’t being met sexually, catch ourselves increasingly thinking about meeting those sexual needs. I tell people that I am in the needs business. And if your needs aren’t being met you can white knuckle it for awhile, but sooner or later you’ll want to binge. Walking-not sprinting headlong into infidelity, or sexual adventures but finding a way for both parties to be secure is a whole new area of sex therapy. So what do you do? If partners love each other and don’t want to end the relationship, how do you “color outside the lines of conventional monogamy?”
It takes communication, coaching, and contracting. We may be coveting our neighbors wife but can we act on it without blowing up our relationship? The short answer is yes, but it doesn’t happen easily, lightly or without a fundamental shift in thinking. It’s that shift that allows us to clearly and maturely understand our needs, our partners needs and how to walk through this minefield with integrity. Watch, you will be reading more about changes to monogamy as partners look for solutions to infidelity, become more self aware or simply ask themselves are my neighbors having wilder sex than we are?
 
 
 

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Reviews of The Best Sex Toys – Find out about the best sex toys on the market

 
Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.
With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.
This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).
I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….
I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.
The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.
So here they are….

1. Great finger vibe FK 9000
This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease. These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.
2. The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit
Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot ‘s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving pearls inside. They work inside and out. The Twisting and vibration of these vibrators can be changed by the controls on the base. The branch stimulates the clitoris and you end up singing Ava Maria. Takes 4 AA batteries, that should be removed between usage to keep it at top power.
3. Diving Double Dolphin
One of the togetherness toys for heterosexual couples, that is the great equalizer when it comes to climaxing together. With the possible exception of the Rabbit, was the thing we were least likely to keep on our shelves at The Love and Romance Stores. It has a whole in the middle that slides down to the base of the penis a happy little nose that says a big Hi to the clitoris when lined up, and a flippy tail that offers up both participants perineum ( or the “taint”) stimulation. With over 70% of women incapable of climaxing during intercourse as the clit sits up high forgotten and neglected, this little number makes it all the humping and pumping worthwhile.
4. The Egg and Dual Bullets Combo
This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way! Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.
5. Waterproof Jelly G – Spot
Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.
6. Senso – (Pretend Blue Squishy Vagina)
This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.
7. Fleshlight 2
Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool. If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.
8. Moist Silicone Lubricant 8 oz.
The slipperiest of lubricants. As any silicone based lubricant, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys. Good for any other kinds of tubes of in case of any other friction based emergency. Silicone lubricants can however be safely used with condoms or any other material toys. They do not dry out like water based lubes, but they are a bit harder to clean off. These can stay slick up to eight hours in a hot tub, and I once dropped a bottle of this on a pine floor and skated on the spot for weeks.
9. Pro touch Plug and Little Zinger combo
Okay, there’s a lot more to anal sex than in, out, repeat if necessary. A well made, gentle plug (with a good base that won’t get sucked up into your neither regions), these two plugs helps you turn the curve of your inner anal regions into a relaxed and erotic space. This combo, is an ingenious silicone plug with removable vibrator (for dreamy prostate stimulation), and a little red easy to start and hold and pull out at just the right moment. Grab some anal ease, and you’re in business.
10. Sweetheart Vibrator with Power panties
Endorsed by Angelina Jolie (Newswire, Nov. 23, 2005). What more do I need to say? She apparently walks around with her panties vibrating keeping her at a low level of arousal. I guess she has to do something with Brad away. The small two inch cushioned soft jelly (read –easy to clean), heart holds a removable variable speed Zippy Vibe that delivers strong clitoral stimulation. These fit into a little pair of panties(one size), or you can these comfortable, innovative, adjustable leg straps that slide over the thighs and hold the Sweet Heart snugly over the clitoris if you are more than a Barbie doll size, or want to go without. These products give a whole new way to make boring activities such as housework housework
11 . Oh My Cheesecake and Coffee Lubes
Lube is your friend. No matter what your age or situation, lube keeps everyone slippery, comfortable, and makes good sex better. Made with hemp, grown in the wilds of British Columbia ( I have it on good authority that they grow lots of hemp out there), this stuff actually heals delicate tissues. I believe that if you are going to use a lube (and all women need a water based product so they don’t get bunged up), you might as well use a flavoured lube in case it gets in your mouth and you are stuck with that yucky lube taste.

With flavours like Pina Colada, Strawberry and Blueberry Cheesecake, and my personal favourite, low-fat decaf cappachino this is the best lube in the world…

12. Hitachi Magic Wand
The most popular electric vibrator on the market is the Hitachi Magic Wand. It resembles my favourite, an old Phillips Beauty Set “massager” that still ranks right up there. Those plug in toys are fantastic, powerful and almost indestructible except in case of power outages. At least you don’t have to worry about running out of batteries. Electric vibrators deliver the strongest, most unrelenting vibrations available. The stimulation produced is so strong that many women like to diffuse the vibration through a pillow or towel. But for those of you out there who desire strong direct clitoral stimulation, these will not disappoint. Use this vibe on your clitoris, vagina, anus or where ever it feels good. This is the BMW of sex toys. Functional, and such a workhorse. Men who know power tools love the magic Wand.
Considered the essential toy for anybody looking for serious power, the Hitachi Magic Wand has been the yard stick for years by which all other toys are measured. A foot long handle that allows you to do acrobatics and even use it on sore muscles other than the ones between your legs, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a plug in toy so you don’t have to worry about your batteries dying during a critical moment. Made with sturdy Japanese motors it comes complete with a heavy duty rounded head, The Magic Wand will bring out orgasm after orgasm, even if you’ve had difficulty in the past. This is a long-life toy investment, and well worth every penny.
13. Allura
The big breakthrough for women’s orgasms that happened in the last few years, this is the first, and I think the best, of the tingling orgasm creams. I call it the great equalizer, meaning if you have trouble reaching orgasm and have to practically sacrifice a chicken to get there, these creams open up the blood flow and can help a hard-to-get-there-girl over the top. For those of us who orgasm with little encouragement (practically just by thinking about Johnny Depp), it gives you a pleasant stimulation, but doesn’t put you over the top. What makes Viagra work is nitric oxide, a by-product of L-arginine. It’s also one of the main ingredients in Allura, and is safe and effective, and along with menthol (the other big ingredient), Allura definitely increases the blood rushing to your vulva. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the stuff.
15. Tongue
Considered by Playboy to be one of the most orgasmic and successful erotic toy ever made. Redbook magazine calls it the #1 sex toy in the world and it’s designed by and made by a woman after exhaustive research who understood what women really wanted from a bedroom toy. The Tongue, is a life-like, soft and flexible toy of amazing strength, that looks like a large tongue. Different than other toys in that it doesn’t vibrate, it actually moves like a tongue, undulating back and forth to give you a unbelievable sensation that is unique only to The Tongue. It goes from slow to Ohhhhhh in one flick. The Tongue can be use either with batteries, or with any regular adapter for never fail use. The five speeds can build to a ferocious pace with a never tiring, never changing massage and rhythm. For any woman with a preference for straight up oral stimulation, The Tongue is magic with a little lube, and is great for insuring strong, consistent orgasms.
  • The Night Cage – This is the perfect product for men on your list who like to jumped at any and every opportunity, and for the partners who like to be in control. It’s a full service cock ring that you can wear under your clothes, while you sleep or to give your partner the rock hard penetration that they are looking for. The magnets increase circulation, draws the blood in and holds it there, and the external nubs hits all the right nerve endings. Gives you an extra half inch of fullness that feels really wonderful to your partner, but doesn’t diminish your own sensations as so many rings and penile splints do. Perfect for wild weekends or for men who are looking for a little extra firmness.
  • Strawberries and Cream – This is the togetherness toy for the majority of couples who’s female partners need clitoral stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. A soft jelly ring gets inserted on the down the penile shaft to the base, and then the attached vibrating knob sitting above the penis will press and vibrate against the clitoris during intercourse. It’s quiet so it doesn’t distract, and will be everything you need in order to climax together or regularly during intercourse which is the wish for most couples. But if you a working solo, Strawberries and Cream comes with a five inch multi speed vibrator that can fit where the penis would, and fully adjustable and removable straps can leave you hands free to act out the type of stimulation that you uniquely want. I’ve heard reports that either way is great, but Strawberries and Cream is the secret weapon that many couples use to bring them together in the bedroom.
  • Clit Seducer – A unique product that has never been replicated, but uses you mouth suction to deliver stimulation without needing to be double jointed. A soft cup that you can place over a desired area such as your clitoris, nipple or head of the penis and along with a great variable speed vibrator, you get a PVC tube that you can put in your mouth ( or anybody willing to play along) and you give the added warmth and suction you need to go completely over the top. Guaranteed to enlarge your nipples and clitoris with use, this is an all purpose toy and one you should try if you ever feel that you’ve tried all there is in the area of adult toys. A must-have toy for the discriminating consumer.
  • Tickling Bra – It has been proven that some women go absolutely wild for nipple stimulation. If you are one of the many who can’t get enough attention to your breasts, than the Tickling Bra is for you. Think of it as little vibrators pressed into flat pads that can be concealed in you bra, and the adjustable, removable straps, make for comfortable, invisible support. Quiet, and with a sucking motion this toy makes padded bras seem like your best friend. For any woman who turns to Jell-O with nipple play, there is no other product like the Tickling Bra that can put you in charge of the kind, amount and speed of stimulation anytime and anywhere.
  • Jurassic Jewel– This toy acts in much the same way as a strand of Asian anal beads by using incremental balls along a shaft to hit all the anal nerve endings only these jewels are warmer, gentler, easier to insert, simple to clean and come with vibration just where you need it. According to Masters and Johnson “a large number of heterosexual couples incorporate some variety of anal stimulation into their sexual play…as it can be highly arousing and lead to male and female orgasms.” This toy works for both partners (it is especially powerful against the male prostate gland), and because the jelly is so easy to sterilize, and the small diameter tip is easy for beginner or more experienced use, which is why it’s so popular. If that’s not enough, the vibrating bullet can be inserted or removed, which is great if both partners want to be on the receiving end simultaneously or if you want to offer clitoral or penile shaft stimulation while working in the anal region and send your partner over the top.
  • Virginia Slims – A long, slim hollow vibrating dong that comes complete with the ever popular and versatile bullet that can be inserted anywhere along the shaft for vibration where you want it. This eight inches is a woman’s favourite, great for small openings (both anal and vaginal) and can change from a vibrator to a straight dong just by moving the bullet. Virginia Slims is soft, slippery and slender. No more wishing the vibration strength was somewhere else, if you need a certain type of stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
  • Wave Runner – This super stimulating curvy vibrator that fits the vaginal contours like a glove, is a huge seven and a half inches of soft, slippery firmness. The great thing about it is that it grows wider as it goes deeper. Finger holds in the base make it easy to grasp and the powerful vibrator with variable speed control that can go from soft to Oh-My-God with a slight flick, this toy is the one for anybody that likes it harder, faster, deeper, and fuller with a fit that you have never experienced with a straight shaft.
  • Stubby’s – Vibrating 4 and ½ playtoy looks so cute, but they are truly effective. When you need fullness and not depth, these toys leave you feeling full but put no pressure on you cervix. Complete with testicles, these toys are great as an anal teaser but are easy to hold and firm enough to put constant stimulation on the clitoris and the vaginal opening where you really need it. These toys are lifelike, and for those who prefer wide to ling, this is the toy for you.
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Being a "cheeky Tomato". Elegant, sexy, saucy and adventurous. A new system to rank everything from toys to holidays to programs in the field of romance


Saucy Tomato
the ABC’s of sensuous
Spicy Tomato
Time to Experiment
Red Hot Tomato
The Adventurous Types
In the 20’s, being called a “tomato”, meant you were an “adorable woman with flair, charisma, sex appeal, and a flirtatious way about her”.
The cheeky tomato section of my site where I list the products that turn you into the self assured love siren in the bedroom, I call it the sexy things everybody needs in their bedrooms. It’s also the link to my blog, outlines all the any hot topics, and is the place on my site where I can be a little sassy.
The cheeky tomato is also my philosophy that sex should be fun, and intimate (I call it giving sex soul), and being a cheeky tomato, is not making sex more difficult (than it can be) or too weird. Before you found the cheeky tomato section of my site, you may have been overwhelmed when searching for romance products or information from other in-your-face sites that scare everyone, even your friendly, neighborhood sex therapists.
I’ve divided the products into three types of tomato’s; Saucy, Spicy, and Red Hot. I keep the products in each category to the 10 sexy things everyone should have in their bedrooms, and offer only the best, products in the market, and strictly limit myself to the best 10 in the world so as to not be confusing. You’ll find descriptions, suggestions, audio clips, pictures of me explaining them, and the reasons why these will take your sex life into the sticky and juicy WOW zone.
Saucy Tomato:
Is for those who are just learning to experiment, and are wanting to add a few things without resorting to looking like Rosie O’Donnell in Exit to Eden where she scared Dan Akroyd dressed up in black leather. It’s the next step after having “in-out-repeat-if-necessary” sex, where you want to play, but are dipping a toe in to test the water before jumping right in.
Spicy Tomato:
Means you are up to taking a few new risks, (beyond meeting your husband at the door dressed up in nothing but saran wrap). You understand it strengthens your relationship when the sex is fun, creative and interesting. You want to keep it hot, but are not quite ready to dress your spouse up like Little Bo Peep, (I’m sure he would be cute in lace), or have a sex toy that requires it’s own power bar. These are products in the middle, but are the 10 sexy things that will ramp up the temperature.
Red Hot Tomatos:
Means, bring it on Sue. You’ve been to the toy parties, have a few BOB’s (battery operated boyfriends), and are looking for adventure and to fill out your toybox. This is the riskiest section for mainstream women (you want the graduate degree in kinky, you need to try a few other sites), but I’ve got the 10 sexiest things that any Sex Goddess must have in her repertoire. Think of a vat of gelatin, a chicken feather and a 9 volt battery… just kidding, but these products do pack a bit of a jolt.
a few thoughts on toys…
Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.
With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.
This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).
I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….
I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.
The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.

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Sex toys – Reviews of the Top 15 best sex toys and devices. Sue talks about her fav's

The expert opinion, popular best sellers, and what the celebs are saying…..
Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.
With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.
This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).
I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….
I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.
The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.
So here they are….
*** Two new ones for 2011 are the fukuko glove tickler. Vibrating fingers inside a glove. It does amazing things with the back of your head. My favorite place to be massaged is the back of my head….
I still love the new We vibe. Made just outside of my hometown of Ottawa the We Vibe (thanks for inventing it Bruce!) is a couples toy. Rechargable, used during intercourse to stimulate both partners, it leads to silmultaneous orgasms.
1. Great finger vibe FK 9000
This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease. These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.
2. The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit
Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot ‘s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving pearls inside. They work inside and out. The Twisting and vibration of these vibrators can be changed by the controls on the base. The branch stimulates the clitoris and you end up singing Ava Maria. Takes 4 AA batteries, that should be removed between usage to keep it at top power.
3. Diving Double Dolphin
One of the togetherness toys for heterosexual couples, that is the great equalizer when it comes to climaxing together. With the possible exception of the Rabbit, was the thing we were least likely to keep on our shelves at The Love and Romance Stores. It has a whole in the middle that slides down to the base of the penis a happy little nose that says a big Hi to the clitoris when lined up, and a flippy tail that offers up both participants perineum ( or the “taint”) stimulation. With over 70% of women incapable of climaxing during intercourse as the clit sits up high forgotten and neglected, this little number makes it all the humping and pumping worthwhile.
4. The Egg and Dual Bullets Combo
This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way! Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.
5. Waterproof Jelly G – Spot
Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.
6. Senso – (Pretend Blue Squishy Vagina)
This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.
7. Fleshlight 2
Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool. If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.
8. Moist Silicone Lubricant 8 oz.
The slipperiest of lubricants. As any silicone based lubricant, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys. Good for any other kinds of tubes of in case of any other friction based emergency. Silicone lubricants can however be safely used with condoms or any other material toys. They do not dry out like water based lubes, but they are a bit harder to clean off. These can stay slick up to eight hours in a hot tub, and I once dropped a bottle of this on a pine floor and skated on the spot for weeks.
9. Pro touch Plug and Little Zinger combo
Okay, there’s a lot more to anal sex than in, out, repeat if necessary. A well made, gentle plug (with a good base that won’t get sucked up into your neither regions), these two plugs helps you turn the curve of your inner anal regions into a relaxed and erotic space. This combo, is an ingenious silicone plug with removable vibrator (for dreamy prostate stimulation), and a little red easy to start and hold and pull out at just the right moment. Grab some anal ease, and you’re in business.
10. Sweetheart Vibrator with Power panties
Endorsed by Angelina Jolie (Newswire, Nov. 23, 2005). What more do I need to say? She apparently walks around with her panties vibrating keeping her at a low level of arousal. I guess she has to do something with Brad away. The small two inch cushioned soft jelly (read –easy to clean), heart holds a removable variable speed Zippy Vibe that delivers strong clitoral stimulation. These fit into a little pair of panties(one size), or you can these comfortable, innovative, adjustable leg straps that slide over the thighs and hold the Sweet Heart snugly over the clitoris if you are more than a Barbie doll size, or want to go without. These products give a whole new way to make boring activities such as housework housework
11 . Oh My Cheesecake and Coffee Lubes
Lube is your friend. No matter what your age or situation, lube keeps everyone slippery, comfortable, and makes good sex better. Made with hemp, grown in the wilds of British Columbia ( I have it on good authority that they grow lots of hemp out there), this stuff actually heals delicate tissues. I believe that if you are going to use a lube (and all women need a water based product so they don’t get bunged up), you might as well use a flavoured lube in case it gets in your mouth and you are stuck with that yucky lube taste.
With flavours like Pina Colada, Strawberry and Blueberry Cheesecake, and my personal favourite, low-fat decaf cappachino this is the best lube in the world…
12. Hitachi Magic Wand
The most popular electric vibrator on the market is the Hitachi Magic Wand. It resembles my favourite, an old Phillips Beauty Set “massager” that still ranks right up there. Those plug in toys are fantastic, powerful and almost indestructible except in case of power outages. At least you don’t have to worry about running out of batteries. Electric vibrators deliver the strongest, most unrelenting vibrations available. The stimulation produced is so strong that many women like to diffuse the vibration through a pillow or towel. But for those of you out there who desire strong direct clitoral stimulation, these will not disappoint. Use this vibe on your clitoris, vagina, anus or where ever it feels good. This is the BMW of sex toys. Functional, and such a workhorse. Men who know power tools love the magic Wand.
Considered the essential toy for anybody looking for serious power, the Hitachi Magic Wand has been the yard stick for years by which all other toys are measured. A foot long handle that allows you to do acrobatics and even use it on sore muscles other than the ones between your legs, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a plug in toy so you don’t have to worry about your batteries dying during a critical moment. Made with sturdy Japanese motors it comes complete with a heavy duty rounded head, The Magic Wand will bring out orgasm after orgasm, even if you’ve had difficulty in the past. This is a long-life toy investment, and well worth every penny.
13. Allura
The big breakthrough for women’s orgasms that happened in the last few years, this is the first, and I think the best, of the tingling orgasm creams. I call it the great equalizer, meaning if you have trouble reaching orgasm and have to practically sacrifice a chicken to get there, these creams open up the blood flow and can help a hard-to-get-there-girl over the top. For those of us who orgasm with little encouragement (practically just by thinking about Johnny Depp), it gives you a pleasant stimulation, but doesn’t put you over the top. What makes Viagra work is nitric oxide, a by-product of L-arginine. It’s also one of the main ingredients in Allura, and is safe and effective, and along with menthol (the other big ingredient), Allura definitely increases the blood rushing to your vulva. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the stuff.
14. Vallura
15. Tongue
Considered by Playboy to be one of the most orgasmic and successful erotic toy ever made. Redbook magazine calls it the #1 sex toy in the world and it’s designed by and made by a woman after exhaustive research who understood what women really wanted from a bedroom toy. The Tongue, is a life-like, soft and flexible toy of amazing strength, that looks like a large tongue. Different than other toys in that it doesn’t vibrate, it actually moves like a tongue, undulating back and forth to give you a unbelievable sensation that is unique only to The Tongue. It goes from slow to Ohhhhhh in one flick. The Tongue can be use either with batteries, or with any regular adapter for never fail use. The five speeds can build to a ferocious pace with a never tiring, never changing massage and rhythm. For any woman with a preference for straight up oral stimulation, The Tongue is magic with a little lube, and is great for insuring strong, consistent orgasms.
•The Night Cage – This is the perfect product for men on your list who like to jumped at any and every opportunity, and for the partners who like to be in control. It’s a full service cock ring that you can wear under your clothes, while you sleep or to give your partner the rock hard penetration that they are looking for. The magnets increase circulation, draws the blood in and holds it there, and the external nubs hits all the right nerve endings. Gives you an extra half inch of fullness that feels really wonderful to your partner, but doesn’t diminish your own sensations as so many rings and penile splints do. Perfect for wild weekends or for men who are looking for a little extra firmness.
•Strawberries and Cream – This is the togetherness toy for the majority of couples who’s female partners need clitoral stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. A soft jelly ring gets inserted on the down the penile shaft to the base, and then the attached vibrating knob sitting above the penis will press and vibrate against the clitoris during intercourse. It’s quiet so it doesn’t distract, and will be everything you need in order to climax together or regularly during intercourse which is the wish for most couples. But if you a working solo, Strawberries and Cream comes with a five inch multi speed vibrator that can fit where the penis would, and fully adjustable and removable straps can leave you hands free to act out the type of stimulation that you uniquely want. I’ve heard reports that either way is great, but Strawberries and Cream is the secret weapon that many couples use to bring them together in the bedroom.
•Clit Seducer – A unique product that has never been replicated, but uses you mouth suction to deliver stimulation without needing to be double jointed. A soft cup that you can place over a desired area such as your clitoris, nipple or head of the penis and along with a great variable speed vibrator, you get a PVC tube that you can put in your mouth ( or anybody willing to play along) and you give the added warmth and suction you need to go completely over the top. Guaranteed to enlarge your nipples and clitoris with use, this is an all purpose toy and one you should try if you ever feel that you’ve tried all there is in the area of adult toys. A must-have toy for the discriminating consumer.
•Tickling Bra – It has been proven that some women go absolutely wild for nipple stimulation. If you are one of the many who can’t get enough attention to your breasts, than the Tickling Bra is for you. Think of it as little vibrators pressed into flat pads that can be concealed in you bra, and the adjustable, removable straps, make for comfortable, invisible support. Quiet, and with a sucking motion this toy makes padded bras seem like your best friend. For any woman who turns to Jell-O with nipple play, there is no other product like the Tickling Bra that can put you in charge of the kind, amount and speed of stimulation anytime and anywhere.
•Jurassic Jewel- This toy acts in much the same way as a strand of Asian anal beads by using incremental balls along a shaft to hit all the anal nerve endings only these jewels are warmer, gentler, easier to insert, simple to clean and come with vibration just where you need it. According to Masters and Johnson “a large number of heterosexual couples incorporate some variety of anal stimulation into their sexual play…as it can be highly arousing and lead to male and female orgasms.” This toy works for both partners (it is especially powerful against the male prostate gland), and because the jelly is so easy to sterilize, and the small diameter tip is easy for beginner or more experienced use, which is why it’s so popular. If that’s not enough, the vibrating bullet can be inserted or removed, which is great if both partners want to be on the receiving end simultaneously or if you want to offer clitoral or penile shaft stimulation while working in the anal region and send your partner over the top.
•Virginia Slims – A long, slim hollow vibrating dong that comes complete with the ever popular and versatile bullet that can be inserted anywhere along the shaft for vibration where you want it. This eight inches is a woman’s favourite, great for small openings (both anal and vaginal) and can change from a vibrator to a straight dong just by moving the bullet. Virginia Slims is soft, slippery and slender. No more wishing the vibration strength was somewhere else, if you need a certain type of stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
•Wave Runner – This super stimulating curvy vibrator that fits the vaginal contours like a glove, is a huge seven and a half inches of soft, slippery firmness. The great thing about it is that it grows wider as it goes deeper. Finger holds in the base make it easy to grasp and the powerful vibrator with variable speed control that can go from soft to Oh-My-God with a slight flick, this toy is the one for anybody that likes it harder, faster, deeper, and fuller with a fit that you have never experienced with a straight shaft.
•Stubby’s – Vibrating 4 and ½ playtoy looks so cute, but they are truly effective. When you need fullness and not depth, these toys leave you feeling full but put no pressure on you cervix. Complete with testicles, these toys are great as an anal teaser but are easy to hold and firm enough to put constant stimulation on the clitoris and the vaginal opening where you really need it. These toys are lifelike, and for those who prefer wide to ling, this is the toy for you.

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Questions and Answers- Anal sex toys. Sue answers the most popular questions

Questions and Answers – the most popular questions
Can You Suggest Some Anal Sex Toys?
Dear Sue,
I really like anal sex with my husband. I think that it is better than regular sex. What kinds of toys can I buy that would go farther in than his cock can?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
There are a variety of sex toys meant for anal stimulation ranging in size from the petite beginner kit meant for opening up the sphincter weeks before anal penetration is possible, to the huge, honking fist-sized probes that have been packaged for the predominately gay market.
A moderate, slightly larger than penis-sized dildo should be as far as you can go safely, however. Anything too much bigger than a penis runs a real risk of damaging your sphincter muscle and leaves you with all kinds of problems with bowel elimination control (ugh!)
The rectum doesn’t stretch like a vagina, and actually tears much more easily. A puncture of the rectal wall can be very serious, even fatal. People usually get into problems by inserting objects that could break, or using too much anal eze (a product made with novocaine that numbs the whole area so you have much less sensation) where the warning pain is diminished and damage could result.
So, stick to a silicone or latex butt plug, dildo or vibrator. The butt plugs have a large base so that the toy doesn’t go deeper than you want and you have to go fishing (or worse, head to the doctor) to get it out. The good news is that with plenty of lube and a gentle hand you can have lots of anal play with a larger object and add a whole new experience to the anal stimulation you enjoy.
Sue
I have a few shows with some great interviews on my audio page. And if anal sex is something you might want to add to your sex life I can do a one time session ($125 with a receipt) to get you moving in that area. Book it now.

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Can You Suggest Some Anal Sex Toys?

Sue,
I really like anal sex with my husband. I think that it is better than regular sex. What kinds of toys can I buy that would go farther in than his cock can?
Wondering

Dear Wondering,
There are a variety of sex toys meant for anal stimulation ranging in size from the petite beginner kit meant for opening up the sphincter weeks before anal penetration is possible, to the huge, honking fist-sized probes that have been packaged for the predominately gay market.
A moderate, slightly larger than penis-sized dildo should be as far as you can go safely, however. Anything too much bigger than a penis runs a real risk of damaging your sphincter muscle and leaves you with all kinds of problems with bowel elimination control (ugh!)
The rectum doesn’t stretch like a vagina, and actually tears much more easily. A puncture of the rectal wall can be very serious, even fatal. People usually get into problems by inserting objects that could break, or using too much anal eze (a product made with novocaine that numbs the whole area so you have much less sensation) where the warning pain is diminished and damage could result.
So, stick to a silicone or latex butt plug, dildo or vibrator. The butt plugs have a large base so that the toy doesn’t go deeper than you want and you have to go fishing (or worse, head to the doctor) to get it out. The good news is that with plenty of lube and a gentle hand you can have lots of anal play with a larger object and add a whole new experience to the anal stimulation you enjoy.
Sue
ps. If you want suggestions about how to add anal sex to your repetoire then maybe a quick, 30 minute session with you and your partner might be in order. Let’s talk about health, anatomy and step-by-step instructions to both of you on how to get there. $75 and we can get it done.