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Gonnorhea, HPV, Herpes and other nasties you need to prevent if you are swinging.

Where I come from there has been sex education taught in the schools for over 40 years. Often taught by gym teachers who would rather be doing anything else then discussing Fallopian tubes and dealing with “the smell of puberty in the morning” but accurate details about STI’s have long been in the public domain. And yet many adults have no idea that the four non-curable sex infections, and that you can get things like penile cancer from a STI or that gonnorhea can live in your throat. STI’s for many people remain a mystery they simply pray to avoid.
Given the global reach of the Covid-19 pandemic we are all far more sensitive to the impact of invisible viruses and bacteria on our health. And the worry that connecting with someone might kill us. It can be especially scary if you want to play or swing outside of your relationship. Swingers or other non-monogamous people have a vested interest in being safe and sexy. Anyone dating – especially if you are a bit of a germaphobe- may stop you from venturing out to get your sexual needs met. But there is still a huge about of mis-information about swinging and sti’s. In a time of great uncertainty and anxiety about the global pandemic there is also a need for prudent, balanced facts about our communal health. That includes Sexually transmitted infections. The early (and albeit not 100% proven) news about Covid-19 is that if there is no kissing or exchange of breath and mouth droplets the pandemic virus isn’t transmitted sexually. But as well trained as I am about in the area of sexual health I wouldn’t chance it right now with a stranger casually.
So what about the STI’s that have been in our bodies for decades now? It may be time to re-visit how to best prevent getting those infections. I was too young to date during the beginning of the AIDS outbreak in the early 80’s when they didn’t know exactly how you could contract it but it did have the swinging 70’s move to “leave it to Beaver” in a few short years. HIV and Aids had us all scared for awhile.
A few months ago my husband and I did a talk at the largest swinger/lifestyle convention in Canada (VIN). While there were condoms everywhere there was certainly indiscriminate play in the hot tubs and playrooms around the convention hall. We fielded more than a few questions about sexual infections. Few of the people we spoke to had their garnacil (for the HPV and genital warts virus) or twinrix (for Hepatitis) vaccines. And most of the couples we spoke to didn’t use condoms for oral play. Even when STI’s like Chlamydia and Gonnorhea can live in your mouth. Few of the people we had spoken to seemed to be concerned.
As the Popular Science article summed up beautifully.
“Why is this important? Well, a lot of people assume STIs are gross—thanks, society—and part of that stigma is a misconception that all STIs produce gnarly and horrific symptoms. In reality, this is pretty rare! Herpes, for instance, is asymptomatic in almost everyone who has it, and gonorrhea and chlamydia can also infiltrate your body’s defenses without making much fuss. They can even go away on their own, but the problem is that they don’t always do so.
That means that you should not wait for an outbreak of oozing sores before getting tested for STIs. If you’re sexually active—and we’re talking about any kind of sex—you need to get tested two to three times a year.
A mucus membrane is a mucus membrane. STIs, like all infections, are caused by viral, bacterial, or fungal microbes. While many of these infections have particular parts of the body they’ve evolved to thrive in, most of them aren’t too picky. The risks vary between diseases—a 2016 article from the San Francisco AIDS Foundation really hammers home the message that the bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae will take any opportunity to hop off your skin and onto someone else’s, but not all STIs are this industrious.
This doesn’t mean you should spend your next date in a hazmat suit. The solution is actually really simple.
Get tested.”
The challenge of this time is to walk the line between prudent and paranoid. And while I am locked away in quarantine doing my part to stop the global pandemic I will admit having a few eye rolling moments. Some intakes of breath when the American President dismissed the risk of Covid-19 and some exasperation of the exaggerated numbers and banning of even the solo sitting on a park bench. And at a time when we need connection more than ever it’s important to get the facts and get tested. My $500 four week program to help you find a partner (or partners) includes a discussion on the latest facts about sti’s. And during this time of
health uncertainly facts and clear science are what we need most of all.

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The new Hex condom by Lelo – condoms re-engineered

hex1
In the early 1990’s I was a newly graduated Sex Therapist and just starting on radio. One of my radio sponsors was a major condom company. Grosses of condoms were delivered to my office and I gave them out at speeches, during sex education classes, and in abundance during frosh weeks at Colleges and Universities. I did condom water toss games, used them in a blindfold game on slippery dildos, and threw them to people across cafeterias. One of my favourite activities was to show how easy it was to break or denature the condoms by rolling them up to your shoulder or covering them with oil. The kids in my life grew to think that all balloons came with a reservoir tip. It was great, and I spent lots of time with latex of all colours.
But the truth about latex is that using condoms isn’t nearly as much fun as having no condoms when you are going to have hard, sweaty intercourse. Flavoured rubbers, with extra lubricant, ribbed and extra sensitive all help with increasing the pleasure, but there is still a noticeable barrier. My partner really does insist “he feels no sensation at all using condoms and it really is like wearing a raincoat”. Not having a penis, I take his (and the thousands of other men I’ve spoken to over the last 20 odd years about sex) word that condoms can limit the sensuality of the experience.
The female perspective is that semen can be cool. Messy but cool. We may ejaculate, but we don’t make semen. Semen has been proven to do a number of positive things. One ejaculate of semen contains over 200 proteins, vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12 and zinc. And condoms by their nature of blocking the transmission of fluids limits the fun and beneficial interaction with semen.
So when the Swedish sex toy manufacturer Lelo says they have a new revolutionary condom it generates lots of interest. The condom has been using the same premise and basic shape since the 19thth century. If Lelo can build a better mousetrap while maintaining the benefits of no STI transmission and pregnancy prevention then it is worth a look.
Introducing Hex, the new re-engineered condom by Lelo. When you take it out of the box it certainly looks high tech. Ribbed with little hexagonal shapes all over, it espouses to be stronger than traditional condoms. It rolls on the same as usual and the texture with the raised hexagons while a little different isn’t enough for you to notice anything really unusual if you put it on in the dark.
However, it felt very similar to having no condom for me while in use. It didn’t have that rubbery feeling or the burning sensation you can get from latex, as any woman who has used a cheap, latex vibrator knows. And according to my husband, the hexagons felt different to my partner on the head of the penis. The Hex condoms were less likely to slip, and the material was thinner overall. While he said “he still had limited sensation, it was the best feeling condom ever”. And that’s saying something. As well, we tried really hard to break it. So the Hex condom was stretchy, strong and with a raised shape inside for less slipping. Maybe it is re-engineered. And while I’m not likely to go jumping up and down excitedly and tell everyone who will listen (unlike my first experience with Ora, Lelo’s oral sex toy that is one of the 7 wonders), it made reviewing a condom the way they were actually made to be used a fun and interesting experience. They are selling them online. Try them for yourself and see if you can feel a difference. I would be interested in hearing if you did.
hex

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Baby Boomers sex and those sexual infections. Prudent or paranoid?

couples1We Baby Boomers are a randy bunch. It turns out that many a Boomers are doing the boom at least a few times a month. Although I am almost a Gen X born at the end of the free love of the 60’s, I have certainly been influenced by my Mother who burned her bra with Betty Freidan and my Dad who discoed up a storm.
It turns out that in the spirit of “love thy Neighbor” has continued to the Boomers who are now 50 plus. And they are doing it without as much latex as they should. They are grown ups, you think they would know better. The number of STI’s (sexually transmitted infections) are up among older adults. It’s something to be worried about yes, but is it an epidemic? There is a place in Central Florida call The Villages that hit the news because their STI percentage rates in people over 60 were up. But The stats are alarmist. The numbers are really cases that went from 5 reported in a year to 9 reported in a year. But with a 40% increase it hit USA today as a story.
The number of reportable STI’s in the entire City of Ottawa in 2010 was 2926. That’s a population of over 1 million people. The number of cases reported in people over the age of 44 was 51.
51 cases over 44 in over 1 million people. Should you be aware – yes. Should the risk of sexual infections keep you up night and prevent you from taking someone new for a test drive, I think if you’re careful -no. However, I’ll let you decide.
“For baby boomers the situation may be a bit more complicated. To begin with, there are physical changes that may increase the risk of infection. As women age, the Student BMJ researchers noted,the thinning of the lining of the vagina and a loss of lubrication make tiny abrasions more likely, creating entry points for viruses. Change in vaginal pH after menopause may also increase risk.”
More and more senior adults are trying online and multiple partner dating and may think that STI’s are something that doesn’t impact them. Add that to the use of Cialis, Viagra and the new Staxyn drugs and you’ve got sex going on longer, and more vigorously later in life (yeah!)
The good news is that there are ways to protect yourself. Here is the steps I advise to anyone having multiple partners.
1. Get the Twinrix Hepatitis A and B vaccine to protect you from 2 of the 3 Hepatitis infections. Hep C is transmitted through blood.
2. Get the Gardasil vaccine. It prevents the HPV virus transmission and the contracting of genital warts and cervical cancer. Even men can get the vaccine so they can prevent the transmission of the virus. Don’t let your physician tell you that men don’t need it. You can assure any potential partners that you are clean of the possibility of warts. And HPV is transmitted by touch so condoms alone won’t prevent the transmission.
3. Get a back up 10 day supply of antibiotics. Doctors are reluctant to just give you some, but many will give you a prescription if you are traveling. If the condom breaks, or you have an unprotected experience you can use a dose of antibiotics to prevent any bacteria based STI like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea.
4. Oral sex and manual sex (hand jobs) are fairly safe provided there is no cold sores or rash present or if there is a foul infectious odor. In any case of bacteria STI’s I have ever seen, there was a smell or rash. A sniff and a check under the hood in bright light means that oral can be done without much risk of transmission.
5. Sorry, but for intercourse, condoms are the only thing that prevents transmission.
Follow the steps, get tested, and be prudent (not paranoid that doesn’t have you leaving the house) and you can be one of those hot, sexy seniors. If you are a hip Boomer (or younger) and want to stay sexy (while not turning into your parents) consider joining the Duckling social group. Sexy but safe is our mission statement.

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what to do when things get itchy 2

Yeast_1 My e-mail last night was about the dreaded yeast infection! gasp!  The Horror!!!  the sticky, squooshy parts….  You know, Dear Sue, I’ve got that itchy, cottage cheese like discharge (hope you’re not eating…),
The Quick Fix
Barring those stupid television commercials would be a help, and giving women information on preventing and managing those infections would be a public service.  Women mainly get yeast infections in the deflated balloon known as the vagina, and men get it in their sinuses, especially if they have oral sex.  Think about it, it’s a warm, dark place for the yeast to inhabit.  If you’re a guy who is going down on a woman (and if you’re not, you need to remedy that immediately, and with enthusiasm) you may be transferring yeast back and forth.
Think about it. It’s men’s empty (well sort of) cavity, and if guys have had too much antibiotics, their internal chemistry gets out of whack. It’s  fixable, but like women’s you need the facts and a quick trip to the grocery or health food store.
The yeast and the bacteria in your body keep a happy balance.  When you use too much antibiotics, it wipes out all of the good balancing bacteria, and the yeast take over the planet. Put back the healthy bacteria and give things a good flush and voila! itchy is gone, you don’t need to spend money on going to the pharmacy, just to get another infection a week later.
Healthy bacteria is the stuff in yogurt.  Eating yogurt is good, but you would have to eat a vat of the damn stuff to give you the immediate results.  Start taking some handfuls of the lacto or acidobacillus capsules (anything in the bacillus family) in the fridge of your health food store, and for prevention, get used to taking some everyday like a vitamin C capsule.  Having daily orgasms through masturbation is the best way to flush the vagina (sneezing is the best way to clean the vagina cavity), and you should be right as rain within the next four days…
I also use liquid chlorophyll in my water to put my PH back to normal. I call it plant blood. Any good health food store will have it and it really works.
Oh and the apple cider vinegar. I have an ebook that I can send you about helping with yeast infections if you want to write me.
And if you aren’t sure that’s the problem and want to talk to me about expanding your sexual repertoire I can see you by phone or skype for a quick consultation. Reach out to me now and let’s get you fixed.