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Do you want to postpone menopause? Up your sex life. Read about the new research

It turns out it isn’t hormone therapy, super genetics or abundant health that prevents menopause. Although those things help the new research suggests the best thing you need to do is get laid.
New research is suggesting that if you want to delay menopause you should up your sex life. It’s in the name of health….
New Study says Less Sex Equals Earlier Menopause for Women
Women’s sexual health expert Dr. Laura Berman discusses the brand-new findings
A groundbreaking new study from anthropologists at the University College London has made a shocking and important discovery: The less sex a woman has, the sooner she will experience menopause.
“Researchers found that a woman’s sexual activity corresponded with the onset of her menopause,” says Dr. Laura Berman, sexual health expert, television personality, and radio host of the nationally-syndicated, award-winning Uncovered with Dr. Laura Berman.
The women’s sexual health expert who has written a number of New York Times best-selling books on this very topic continues:
“In the 10-year long study, women who reported having sex once a week were found to be 28% less likely to have experienced menopause than those who had sex less than once a month,” says Dr. Berman. “Then, those women who had sex once a month were who had sex monthly were 19% less likely to have experienced menopause then those who had sex less than once a month.”
In other words, says Dr. Berman, the body may ‘shut down’ reproductive cycles if it senses that the possibility of pregnancy is no longer a reality.
“The human body is built to conserve energy,” says the sex therapist. “Ovulation and menstruation take energy, energy the body would rather save if it is no longer necessary.”
However, while these exciting results show that an active sex life can help to delay the onset of menopause, Dr. Berman cautions that women shouldn’t dread menopause.
“Yes, menopause brings uncomfortable symptoms and even some sadness, but it is also a time of rich possibility and growth,” says Dr. Berman. “We need to change the narrative around menopause and help women view it as a natural, healthy stage rather than something fearful or shameful.”

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The Libido workshop. Solutions for your missing sex drive.

Low desire in one partner is probably one of the top reasons why individuals and couples alike seek out sex therapy. People from all walks of life occasionally struggle to re-kindle low or missing sexual desire or libido.Help is on the way!Starting Monday July 22nd, 2019 renowned Clinical Sex and Relationship Therapist, Sue McGarvie, will be facilitating the ‘Libido & Desire Workshop’. This 4-week program offers participants the latest information on how to improve sexual desire physically, emotionally, psychologically and increase intimacy within relationships.
Are you spending too much time wondering where your libido has gone?Are your relationships devoid of intimacy? Do you find yourself reminiscing about the last time when you were easily sexually aroused?Do you find yourself or your partner challenged by different levels of sexual interest?If you’ve answered, “Yes” to any of the above questions, this workshop has been designed with you in mind.This event is open to both Individuals and couples. Low libido or decreased sexual desire is still the #1 thing seen by Sex Therapists in North America. In my office low desire certainly tops the list if issues. It’s followed by male sexual anxiety (with ED and PE), non-monogamy/infidelity and orgasm issues. Coming up with specific treatments for improving desire are as individual as the clients themselves. Improving libido can often feel like a measurement of millimeters.
Find that loving feeling. With the aim of focusing on solutions, I am running a Desire and Libido 4 week workshop for couples and singles in Ottawa starting July 22nd.. It’s a pragmatic based approach with current research, humour, discretion, and concrete actions for re-kindling desire. It’s limited enrollment and is fully covered by workplace insurance benefits. Limited enrollment and I am starting to take pull together the group. Please send an email (sue at sex with sue .com) or sign up through the contact page.There is limited enrollment for this program, so register now! Four Monday’s from 7 to 9 pm Starting July 22nd, 2019
Cost is $200 for the four week course. Everyone is welcome. It’s at 81 Pooler Ave.
Send an etransfer to bdspratt@gmail.com

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Postmenopause: regaining your sexual response

Menopause. It’s a time of massive change that can have a huge impact on your sexual health and wellbeing. We don’t all experience the same changes but one of the issues that is very common is a loss of sexual response. This can mean different things to different women but three common symptoms are a loss of sexual desire, problems becoming aroused, and difficulty achieving orgasm. But not everyone will experience all of these symptoms. Some women may find that their sex drive actually increases but being able to reach orgasm, or have sex without vaginal pain becomes more difficult. Sound familiar?
Trust me… you are not alone.
If any of these issues are affecting you, it’s important to know that you are not alone. In fact, far from it! Elisabeth Lloyd PhD, states in her book “The Case of the Female Orgasm”, that women of all ages commonly experience sexual dysfunction with only one in three reaching orgasm from intercourse alone. However, for menopausal women, this number increases significantly. A study of 13,882 women aged between 40 and 80, conducted by The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors (GSSAB), found that the prevalence of sexual function in postmenopausal women is between 68% and 86%. If this sounds like an extremely high number to you, that’s because it is!
While the symptoms of menopause are distressing enough on their own, they also tend to have some far-reaching impacts. It’s been demonstrated that sexual dysfunction can cause low self-esteem, low quality of life, and emotional distress. Things which can also lead to relationship problems in the long run.
What causes these problems?
Once we reach 50, women have about half of the testosterone they had in their 20s. And, following menopause, much lower levels of estrogen too. These hormonal changes can cause vaginal dryness, thinning of the vaginal tissues, and reduced blood flow to the genital region. Unfortunately, these all work to reduce sensitivity in the vagina and vulva. This makes our arousal levels feel less intense or a lot harder to come by at all. Without arousal, we also struggle to become sufficiently lubricated naturally which can result in painful sex.
The breakthrough is understanding your stimulation-arousal-desire-pleasure cycle.
For a long time, our understanding of female sexual response has been based upon the 1960s research of Masters and Johnson. They established what is known as the linear sexual-response cycle of excitement/ desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. However, contemporary research suggests that a woman’s sexual response is more complex, varied and non-linear. Linda Rogers, a Nurse Practitioner of Obstetrics/Gynecology at John Hopkins Bayview Medical Center, explains that our sexual response does not always follow the order of desire followed by arousal. In fact, many women can become aroused without desire as a result of engaging in sexual stimulation. Our arousal then triggers desire and our bodies become more sexually responsive. Effective stimulation of the clitoris also improves blood flow to the whole genital area. This works to further heighten arousal and improve vaginal lubrication. This leads to greater desire, less vaginal pain, and a better ability to achieve orgasm.
In her book “Radiant Again and Forever”, Dr Prudence Hall states that 10 minutes or more of nipple stimulation produces enough oxytocin for most women to become aroused and ready for sex. For some, it is also enough to prepare their body for orgasm during intercourse or through clitoral stimulation.
Clearly, effective stimulation is the key to regaining your sexual wellbeing. But following menopause, your body will likely respond very differently than it did in your 20s or 30s. Stimulation may need to be more intensive than before, and you may discover that very specific zones around your vagina, and elsewhere on your body, respond in different ways with varying levels of sensitivity.
Clinical sex therapists recommend Zumio for effective stimulation.
Zumio is highly recommended for postmenopausal stimulation by sex therapists and sex toy experts because of its pinpoint accuracy and versatility, enabling you to explore your body and discover anew how you can enjoy new levels of desire, arousal, and sexual pleasure.
“The Zumio has a SpiroTIP that whirls around in tiny circles allowing the user to find the most stimulating spots for them,” states Clinical Sex Therapist Sue McGarvie. “It can be used on the nipples, clitoris, and all around the vulva. It is that amazing circling motion combined with pinpoint concentration that enhances blood flow to the areas that ignite arousal. Zumio could be considered a Clinical Sex Therapy treatment for anorgasmia and other types of sexual dysfunction, not simply another sex toy.”
References:
“Sexual Function in Elderly Women: A Review of Current Literature” published in Reviews in Obstetrics and Gynecology, Dana R Ambler, DO, Eric J Bieber, MD, Chief Medical Officer, and Michael P Diamond, MD.
“The Most Important Sexual Statistic”, Psychology Today.
– References the book “The Case of the Female Orgasm”, Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D.
“Sexual Dysfunction”, Healthy Woman, Linda Rogers, CRNP, Nurse Practitioner, Obstetrics/Gynecology at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center
“Radiant Again”, Prudence Hall, MD.

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Your sperm needs some TLC! How to get your boys in the best shape for the swim of their lives!

It’s amazing how many of my clients are struggling with fertility. Yes the recipe requires fresh eggs, and yes it’s important to spend some time naked and horizontal to conceive.  But male fertility after years of microwaving yogurt containers (full of bad estrogens that diminish sperm), and too many soccer balls to the gonads male infertility is on the rise. 
Thanks to the brilliant Orlando urologist for suggestions on keeping your sperm in tip top shape.  
1. The Magic Number – The magic number is 15 million – sperm per milliliter, that is. Infertility could be the result if the count is much lower than this benchmark.
2. Take a Lap – While a high sperm count is good, a high ‘swimming’ sperm count is also important. In general, about a quarter of the sperm will swim and drive your chances of achieving a pregnancy. For patients that have extremely low sperm count, doctors can often do surgical procedures to obtain sperm that can be used for in vitro fertilization (IVF).
3. Watch the Sauna – Causes of sperm production issues include higher temperatures such as when a man is frequently exposed to hot tubs or saunas, dilated blood vessels around the testicle (called varicocele), abnormal testosterone levels such as when a man takes testosterone injections, environmental factors and certain medications like hair loss medication.
4. New International Study – Sperm counts are dropping. Data presented at ASRM last month by IVI-Reproductive Medicine Associates Global (IVI-RMA Global) found that the proportion of men with normal total motile sperm counts is declining over time.
5. Boxers or Briefs? – Men should feel free to choose whatever underwear fits best without fertility concerns. While it was thought that perhaps briefs increased temperatures of the testicles and might affect sperm production, this is truly an old wives’ tale.
Oh note on boxers. Briefs hold your boys close to your body and keep the skin of your scrotum from stretching. You don’t want to have to throw your testicles over your shoulder as you age.

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It's another reason to eat oysters…. Seafood-rich diet may help couples get pregnant faster

The sex mineral for men that helps improve erection and sexual functioning is zinc. Zinc for your dink. Oysters and other seafoods are loaded with it. Magnesium is the sex mineral for women. Seafood is a great source of that as well. Now a new study out of Washington says that “seafood consumption improved sexual activity frequency, reduced time to conception”.
So if you are trying to get knocked up the fishmonger may help.
“Couples who eat more seafood tend to have sexual intercourse more often and get pregnant faster than other couples trying to conceive, according to a new study published in the Endocrine Society’s Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism.
Seafood is an important source of protein and other nutrients for women who are or may become pregnant, but concerns about mercury have led some women to avoid fish when trying to conceive. According to the Food and Drug Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency, 90 percent of the fish eaten in the United States is low in mercury and safe to eat. Although the agencies recommend two to three servings of lower-mercury fish per week, 50 percent of pregnant women still eat far less than the recommended amount.
“Our study suggests seafood can have many reproductive benefits, including shorter time to pregnancy and more frequent sexual activity,” said one of the study’s authors, Audrey Gaskins, Sc.D., of Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston, Mass. “Our study found that couples who consume more than two servings of seafood per week while trying to get pregnant, had a significantly higher frequency of sexual intercourse and shorter time to pregnancy.”
In the prospective cohort study, researchers from Harvard followed 500 Michigan and Texas couples from the Longitudinal Investigation of Fertility and the Environment (LIFE) Study for one year to determine the relationship between seafood intake and time to pregnancy. Participants recorded their seafood intake and sexual activity in daily journals.
The researchers found that 92 percent of couples who ate seafood more than twice a week were pregnant at the end of one year, compared to 79 percent among couples consuming less seafood. The association between seafood and faster time to pregnancy was not completely explained by more frequent sexual activity, suggesting other biological factors were at play. These could include effects on semen quality, ovulation or embryo quality, Gaskins said.
“Our results stress the importance of not only female, but also male diet on time to pregnancy and suggests that both partners should be incorporating more seafood into their diets for the maximum fertility benefit,” she said.”

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Vaginal smell and issues. What to do if your girl parts are out of sorts?

vag1It’s one of those questions I get asked about in whispers and on behalf of a friend. Vaginal health is a topic that many women often are too embarrassed to ask about. Keeping your vagina healthy, fresh smelling and delightfully tasty is vital if you want to be comfortable getting horizontal and sweaty.
We all want to feel clean. Perceived vaginal pleasantness has us open to receiving oral sex (which in my opinion should be a mandatory public service provided by your partner). If the opportunity to frolic naked presents itself, we want to be ready. Given the cold of Canadian winters, most of us spend the darkest months bundled up against the elements. Houses are dry and very little fresh air is getting to our squishy parts. But what can you do if your girl bits are out of sorts this winter?
Prevention is best. You don’t want to be at a point where a doctor’s appointment is critical. So here is my list of the essential things a vagina shouldn’t be without in order to stay at its peak health, and be able to perform on demand.
1. Probiotics for feminine health. These are different than the probiotics you take for tummies. Healthy bacteria are essential for keeping yeast at bay. These are similar to the probiotics in yogurt but specifically help target yeast. If you are prone to yeast infections, then feminine probiotics need to be part of your a daily ritual. Probiotics also help keep away any of the “fishiness” of too much bad bacteria. My favourite is the rePHresh brand Pro-B iotics.
2. Cleaning out the corners with a minimum weekly bath. Showers are great, but they don’t get into the crevices the way that a good soak does. Epsom salts are great for leaving you feeling fresher longer. Most gynecologists suggest bathing a few times a week.
3. Masturbation. Most of my clients laugh when I start writing prescriptions for more masturbation. But I’m not kidding. Self-pleasure is like a genital sneeze. Healthy vaginas are self-cleaning, and discharge is your body’s way of getting rid of the gunk (bacteria, menstrual remnants etc.). But discharge can be slow. An orgasm will flush all the bad things away and leave you with a smile on your face.
4. Lubrication. The vagina is designed to be moist. If it is on the dry side you feel uncomfortable and itchy. I think all women need lube at different times of the month, or at different times during their lives. Nursing mothers need lube, menstruating women need lube, and peri-menopausal and menopausal women definitely need lube. If you are a little dry then a few drops of a great silicone lubricant (I like the Swiss Navy brand) in the morning works well. Replens is an internal lubricant that lasts up to three days by adhering to the walls of the vagina if you are feeling a little like the Sahara.
5. Douching/Bidet. The French women have it right by having bidets in most of their bathrooms. It’s a small genital bathtub with a fountain that gets into the corners. Douching with water (and possibly a tiny bit of apple cider vinegar) can achieve the same results. Do not buy the pre-packaged douches that upset your natural pH levels and make your odour problem worse. I have a couple of reusable vaginal syringes that are inexpensive and effective. I bought mine for $6 online at medicalsuppliesofcanada.ca
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Bio-Identical hormones and why you should be considering them

I had a woman just recently ask again about bio identical hormones. She was going through menopause and having a hard time justifying why she needed to take some kind of medication to deal with a plenary of symptoms. “Menopause is normal” she exclaimed to me. “So’s death” I retorted, “but I don’t want to be looking at that anytime soon” Not drooling in an old age is my standard reply when asked why I take the balancing boost which are bio-identical hormones. I think hormones are healing.
I also think the science around bio-identical hormones are sound. I’ve been on a small amount that’s right for my biochemistry since I was 40 (now 6 years with regular periods), and if I knew then what I know now I would have gone on them at 35. It keeps my hair, skin, sleep, libido, lubrication and fuzzy thinking back to the level I was at when I was 30. We have the technology, it’s safe, but there is no one size fits all. Get informed. If you are feeling lousy, consider a hormonal workup before you look at antidepressants. Or at least get all the information so you can make an informed decision.
I’ve pasted a blurb from Dr. Northup’s blog below. I think she makes lots of sense. But as I’ve said before, you need to be the expert in your own health.
“Sourced from Dr. Northup’s blog:
I’ve been talking about bioidentical hormones for nearly three decades. And it still surprises me when women—and doctors—don’t know the difference between bioidentical hormones and synthetic ones. Bioidentical hormones are created to be an exact match in molecular structure to a woman’s body. That is what makes them “bioidentical.” In contrast, non-bioidentical estrogen, such as the estrogen in Premarin, is bioidentical only if your native food is hay. That’s because it is made from the urine of pregnant horses. Hence the name Pre (pregnant) Mar (mares) in (urine). Progestin is a synthetic form of progesterone that is derived from bioidentical progesterone. The reason for this is that you can’t patent a bioidentical hormone that naturally occurs in nature. And so—to make progesterone marketable—it was changed into a compound not native to the female human body.
For about two decades, Premarin (just estrogen) and Prempro (Premarin plus Provera, a synthetic form of progesterone) were the gold standard for many doctors. And the one-pill-fits-all-women approach was the only option women were given. Then, in 2002, the Women’s Health Initiative Studies showed that women who supplemented with synthetic estrogen or Progestin had more incidences of breast cancer, heart attack, stroke, and blood clots than those who were given a placebo. Once thought to confer heart health and other benefits, women suddenly became wary of these drugs.[9]
The best approach for hormone therapy is one that is unique to you. Women can have their levels of estrogen, progesterone, DHEA, testosterone, and other hormones tested. Or simply pay attention to how you feel—which I find is a far more accurate way to assess hormone balance than testing your levels. The results (and how you feel) allow you and your doctor to customize a treatment plan that is right for you. Start with the lowest dose possible and see how you do. Better yet, change your diet to a low sugar, organic food approach. Add a natural herbal remedy such as Pueraria mirifica, maca, black cohosh, ground golden flaxseed, or chasteberry. And if that doesn’t work, then try the bioidenticals.
Remember that hormone therapy can take a few trials and errors. It’s a work in progress—just like you are at menopause.”

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Testosterone, the hormone for both sexes

I see it in my office every day. Women come in who don’t feel sexy, men who can’t get it up, and couples for whom sex is a distant memory. Yes the issue can be that your partner is driving you nuts and isn’t doing the work to turn you on. And sometimes these problems are caused by general exhaustion, emotional challenges, baggage about sex, psychological factors, and general relationship conflicts. But more times than not, sexual challenges are created when something goes wrong with the internal power supply. For men whose heads are clear, and whose bodies are working properly, it’s usually all systems go. I think most women have a sense that men think about sex a lot. But when the man in your life starts reaching for the remote control rather than pinching your bottom, it could be a hormonal difficulty.
I call it the “Archie Bunker Syndrome”. Named after the grumpy old curmudgeon in the 70’s sitcom, the Archie Bunker Syndrome is what happens to men as they age and their testosterone starts depleting. You may be living with an “Archie”. You can recognize them as men who have beer bellies, fall asleep on the couch after dinner, and are no longer interested in chasing you around the house for sex. I have a physician friend of mine who thinks that most men over 50 should be on at least a base supplemental level of testosterone. For the men in our lives, testosterone (T) is the main hormone that keeps them active, healthy, and masculine. I also like to say it’s responsible for those sexy playoff beards. There are a few over the counter supplements for raising testosterone as well as some suggestions like increasing the amount of celery you feed your partner and suggesting they bath their testicles in cold water after a shower. You may get a better result than I did when I pitched that idea.
So it’s vital for men but how relevant is it for women? In a word, essential. As a sex therapist I spend a great deal of my day talking about how low T can impact your libido. Yet it’s one of those hormones that your doctor rarely tests you for, and you often have to ask for it specifically. I have clients send me their free testosterone numbers and often suggest they investigate whether or not a hormonal imbalance between their many hormones may be causing their depression-like symptoms. It’s certainly related (along with a few other hormones) to the physical factors causing the loss of sex drive. But testosterone is more than simply the barometer of how horny you may be. It’s what puts that wiggle in our hips, the bounce in our steps and the urge to leap out of bed in the morning.
Here’s what happens. We hit 40 and we may start to feel less aroused, less able to lose weight and generally start to feel sluggish. Testosterone is the hormone that begins to decline anywhere from ages 35 to 40. Followed by a decrease in progesterone and then finally at 50 our estrogen plummets. It’s the loss of estrogen that we associate with menopause, hot flashes and sleep problems. But our hormones have been depleting over the previous 10 years during peri-menopause. According to the fabulous book about women and testosterone called The Secret Female Hormone by Dr. Kathy Maupin, it’s really the loss of testosterone that leaves us feeling old. Testosterone is responsible for our youthful bodies. It improves muscle mass, and skin elasticity. Low testosterone in women causes an increase in cellulite, dry eyes, abdominal fat, fatigue, autoimmune reactions such as arthritis, dry skin and hair loss. The problem is that those symptoms are masked among a variety of other causes that has both you and your doctor thinking about other issues besides hormonal depletion.
The problem is that finding the right amount of testosterone isn’t an exact science. Traditionally, women were given male amounts (the only thing originally on the market) which quite literally put hair on their chests. As one woman described to me who had abnormally high testosterone results “I want to kill him, not jump him”. However the science is starting to catch up. We have a few compounding pharmacies in town that make bio-identical hormones that are exactly the right amount for your blood work. We have specialists in town that know the power of balancing progesterone and testosterone based on evidence-based medicine. There really is no one size fits all when it comes to hormones. Test and use the amount that you would have naturally produced when you were 30. I think anything that gets us back to how we felt at 30 is a public service. And if it’s something your body makes anyway, and it’s done in conjunction with your physician, testosterone can be the difference between night and day in terms of how sexy you feel. I think we need to become the experts of our own bodies. That means asking questions of our doctors, keeping a journal of our own blood work results, and becoming better aware of what’s changing. Our sexual selves may need some attention. I think exploring the reasons that you may not be feeling as sexy is critically important to quality of life. There is a great quote by Judith Plaskow that reads “If sexuality is one dimension of our ability to live passionately in the world then in cutting off our sexual feelings we diminish our overall power to feel and value deeply.” So if you have lost that bounce in your step, or you live a Carol O’Connor character I encourage you to investigate further.
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Why balancing your hormones (Men- testosterone, Women-Oxytocin) eases the chaos with your partner.

hormones1Despite it being June and with summer holidays looming collectively, we should be in a great mood. That is if it would ever stop raining and we can get finally to the cottage and start our all over tans. Traditionally sunshine and time off (especially we Canadians) makes us feel better. It just seems to me that despite all we do to be happier, we feel overwhelmed. Call it a general grumpiness and a underlying disconnect between couples. Life is stressful. And busy. And if we listened to all the advice about self care we would probably pull out what is left of our hair. At least I know I would. A quick glance through the Supermarket and unread beach magazines offers up an extensive list of must do’s to make us happy, healthy and beautiful. It turns out that we must have connected date nights, exercise an hour a day, eat organically, take the right supplements, get over 8 hours of sleep, engage in meditation, along with community involvement, have fresh air and intimate time. Sound familiar? If I listened to all the propaganda about having a great life, I doubt I or anyone would get any work done. So how do you know what advice to follow and how do you fit it in a schedule bulging at the seams as it is?
If you figure it out let me know. Smile. Seriously, the longer I’ve been a shrink the more I am convinced that we are ruled by a million years of evolution and all the proteins coursing through our body. Hormones tell us how to behave, regulate our happiness to a much greater degree than they ever explained to us budding therapists back in those dusty lecture halls. It turns out that achieving hormonal health is the key to happiness. Recent scientific discoveries have proven that the difference between the sexes and how they relate to one another and can be explained by our hormones. Biologically men and women have similarities. Hormonally, we are poles apart. Men have 35 times the testosterone that women have. The higher the testosterone levels, the lower the stress. At middle age men turn into what I call “The Archie Bunker Syndrome”. The ways to increase hormone levels include watching Sports Centre (going to the man cave), fixing things around the house, (feeling competent and powerful), sex, exercise, and generally feeling protective of their mate and families.
For women, it’s all about the hormone Oxytocin. This is the cuddle hormone that your brain starts pumping out when we are first sexual with our partners. It lowers our stress levels and makes us feel connected. We build the most Oxytocin when we give and receive nurturing support. But who has time for nurturing support when we are stressed and busy!!! By nurturing I mean everything from baking healthy muffins for your kids, to ranting to your friends about your co-workers. Sleep, massages, and chocolate also help.
I’ve listed below the best 5 foods that lower your cortisol levels, balance your blood sugar and give off that sharing and giving love feelings.
1. Ginger, lemon and cinnamon tea with honey. It’s got 4 of the ingredients that soothe your inflamed cells, and is something I dink by the potful daily.
2. Coconut Oil. It has become the cooking oil of choice. It stimulates the body to burn more fat, and well as deals with the inflammation of hormonal imbalances. 🙂
3. Acai berries. I use 1/2 teaspoon of dried berries in my daily smoothie. Acai berries are known to raise your metabolism without caffeine and lower your stress.
4. Maca Powder. It’s derived from a root from Peru and has been long been associated with sexual functioning. Maca can help stop hot flashes and increase libido.

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So you're a little dry… What to do with vaginal dryness beyond the need to find a new bottle of lube.

It’s called the 7 dwarf’s of menopause. Itchy, bitchy, dopey, sleepy, leaky, achy and all dried up. It turns out that the all dried up part is really the first sign that peri-menopause is well established and you are traveling down the yellow brick road to full-on menopause.
Other symptoms include memory change, depression, insomnia, low energy, bladder control issues (peeing when you cough), dry mouth, aches and pains, and poor quality of sleep.
So what’s a girl to do?
A great lube helps. I like the silcone extra-slippery that doesn’t break down like a water based lube. A little Replens or other long-term adhering lubricant also helps. But the truth is you may need more than that.
Here are the rules beyond lube.
1. Masturbate when your body tells you to. It’s like a sneeze, it cleans out the vaginal cavity that regular discharge used to do. It’s even more important for those tissues as you get closer to menopause.
2. Find out your hormonal blood levels. Here is the list of test I usually request that gives me a starting point.:
Estrodiol
Estrone
FSH
Progesterone
DHEA-5
Testosterone
Free Testosterone
Cortisol AM
3. Decrease the carbs (especially the refined sugars) and increase the protein in your diet.
4. Get some liquid, green chlorophyl from the health food store. It will balance your PH levels and clean out your hoo-hoo.
5. Finally, call your doctor and don’t take no for an answer. It really won’t get better on its own, and if your progesterone and estrogen dip too low then you also will start having problems orgasming. Gasp! I know, that would have me pounding my head into a wall. If you need some help, I’ll see you in person, or by skype and will make a difference within three sessions.

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How being masculine and watching sports increases your testosterone levels. Hockey and sex hmmmm.

andersonIt’s hockey playoff time. I have for many years wrote about the sexiness of playoff beards. Everyone has something that makes then catch their breath and bite their tongue. For me it’s burly, sweaty men and facial hair. I like men that look like men. It turns out that there is some physiological reasons for this.
Being hyper masculine, square jawed, broad shouldered, with a 5 O’clock shadow makes men look more virile. Meaning their boys can swim and they make good genetic choices for our ovaries. Those qualities have women thinking about baby-making (or at least practicing) in our primitive or limbic “we want to have monkey sex” brains. The opposite is also true. Feminized women who smell nice, are pink, cute, and sway their hips are also trigger heat from their partners. There is something about playing those exaggerated roles of masculine and feminine that has our primitive brains hard wired for sex.
These behaviours bump up our sex hormones, testosterone and progesterone. This in turn makes us friskier.
It also turns out that watching sports also increases our testosterone. But only if our team wins. This was the abstract of a great study that tested the hormones in saliva during basketball and soccer games. And those guys don’t have playoff beards. Smile. So test my hormones on Friday night when the Ottawa Senators win game 2 of the second round. Maybe that’s why I’m inclined to have halftime or intermission sex.
Basking in reflected glory, in which individuals increase their self-esteem by identifying with successful others, is usually regarded as a cognitive process that can affect behavior. It may also involve physiological processes, including changes in the production of endocrine hormones. The present research involved two studies of changes in testosterone levels among fans watching their favorite sports teams win or lose. In the first study, participants were eight male fans attending a basketball game between traditional college rivals. In the second study, participants were 21 male fans watching a televised World Cup soccer match between traditional international rivals. Participants provided saliva samples for testosterone assay before and after the contest. In both studies, mean testosterone level increased in the fans of winning teams and decreased in the fans of losing teams. These findings suggest that watching one’s heroes win or lose has physiological consequences that extend beyond changes in mood and self-esteem.
I’ve just finished a book called Men Chase, Women choose. If you want to read more about this I highly recommend the book.

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Heal your metabolism, and improve your libido. 5 Tips.

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One of the big perks of being a media shrink are the book review copies I get sent to me. Interesting new reads that come out just magically appear in my office mail compliments of all the mainstream publishers. It’s like Christmas. And I devour all the new material in the area of sex, relationships, intimacy and health. Given my lifelong struggles to keep my figure from blowing up and resembling the Micheline Man, I am always looking for new insights in the field of diet and weight management. So, without exaggeration I can honestly say that I have read 40% of all of the new health/weight loss books put out by major publishers in the last few years.
These books all have seem to have a sameness about them. I’m always excited to get a book with with new insights, or new information. So I was so happy to read Haylie Pomroy’s, The Fast Metabolism Diet. Pomroy a young, hip, California celebrity nutritionist has had fantastic results with her plan that claims to “lose 28 pounds in 28 days” healthy weight loss plan. Pomroy has had incredible word-of-mouth results because hers works. She’s even had the King of Jordan fly in for a consultation. What’s interesting to me is that she aims to heal wounded and broken metabolisms and in doing so can heat up other aspects of overall health. Including…your libido.
She outlines five tips that seem to work. I’m heading into week 3 of my 28 days and I’m down close to 10 pounds. If I continue to lose, I’ll start posting pictures of my svelte new body. Her information works in conjunction with my Libido Diet (which I use supplements and brainwashing to find your sexy self). The basic premise works on ways to stoke up your internal furnace.
Here are the 5 steps that my Libido Diet and Pomroy’s Fast Metabolism kick-start have in common. Get on them, get skinny and find your inner sex tiger/tigress.
1. No dairy, no breads, no peanuts, no rice, no sweets. No exceptions.
2. Eat 5 times a day. Even if you don’t feel hungry. You need fuel to keep the furnace burning.
3. Pomroy ‘s plan follows a 2 day moderate protein, moderate carbs, no fat. 2 days of no fat, no carbs but lots of meat and veggies, and 3 days of good quality fats (like nuts), low carbs (like beans and steel cut oats) and lots of fiber.
4. The Fast Metabolism Diet has you doing only moderate exercise for brief periods 3 times a week.
5. No wheat, corn, soy, no alcohol, no refined sugars, eat within 30 minutes of waking, eat every 3-4 hours when awake.
It sounds draconian but I admit to losing weight quickly. You need to stay the distance over 28 days. What’s interesting to me as a sex therapist is that if you rev your weight loss engine, your ‘hello Sailor” engine increases too. Start thinking of your body in one way and it will have added benefits. It’s time to look fabulous and feel sexy. Drop me a line and I’ll plug you into the group of us who are re-shaping our bodies and kick-starting our libidos.
If you are struggling with body image issues and weight I can help. I was 400 pounds at my heaviest and I’ve managed to lose and keep over 200 pounds off. I understand the struggle with food and self worth. Especially as it relates to libido. Let’s talk about it. Book an appointment today.