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Happy New Year1 TOP 8 NEW SEXUAL THINGS TO TRY THIS YEAR

One of my New Year's resolutions (besides eating less chocolate, blowing off the dust on our Wii fit, and to stop leaving my boots at the top of the stairs) is to blog more regularly. This way, just like on The corner Gas episode, everyone involved can tune me up if I lapse.

So in keeping with this theme of Newness, here are the top 8 new sex things (you may or may not have tried this year.

8. Hardware Store or vintage vibrators- They are the best. In Canada we get Canadian Tire money for ones that plug into the wall, and deliver 110 volts of lov'n. Ebay can give you a ready supply of The Phillips beauty set, a vintage vibrator that ranks as my personal fav.

7. Take a Trip to Hedonism. Large re-curring groups of people flock to Jamaica different weeks of the year, and get Fabulous group rates. Try The Bubbly Bares, or Fluffernutters. We`'ve seen rates out of Canada (with air included) for less than $1000.

6. Dollar store enema douche. I kid you not. They are marketed in the Qtip and pharmacy section of the dollar stores as douches, but are Great water disposable enema`s for couples wanting to be scrupulously clean for light touch in and around that erogenous zone.

5. Magnesium-glycinate – Known as 'mega-mag' it is an amazing mineral that your body doesn`t get nearly enough of, and will seriously increase your sex drive.

4. We vibe – The number 1 sex toy in the world, is great with couples, and offers female orgasms for women who want to climax during intercourse.

3. Ipod application of 365 positions – New email and downloaded app that will show you different positions to try each day of the year. Many are variations on the same theme (or require a level of gymnastic ability that escapes me), but they are fun to look at and can often kick-start the conversation.

2. Mango love oil andthe corkscrew hand job- made famous by porn star Asia Carrara, warmed oil is the secret of many a infamous mistress. For the enthusiastic novice warm some oil (women love scented ones) and simulate either opening a screw top on the clitoris, or simulating opening a wine bottle for penile play.

1. A fist in the bush – For couples whom have mastered the art of squirting or are looking for a new technique to master, the art of fisting may be less scary and more interesting than at first glance. You can`t get over stretched (your muscles will bring you back to the right size), and it can offer a completely new sensation for couples who are gentle and communicative. I`ll provide instructions based on the new sex technique book out. 

Happy New Year everyone, and let`s hope we all keep our resolutions.

back from the warmth of St. Lucia, and thinking about emigrating…

Sex and Food. How food "is as hot as a stiff cock" (a quote attributed to Julia Child in Julie & Julia)

Julia childs

www. sexwithsue.com 

I went to see that chick movie Julie & Julia with a buddy this week. I loved it, and came home inspired to try her boeuf bourguignon recipe. See below….  I also came home horny. There is such a connection for most women between food and sex.  Especially sugar. I had a friend say "that he didn't understand that most women were such sugarholics – and that it was such a big panti remover" until recently.

Apparently Julia Child was a virgin when she married her husband Paul in her mid 30's (this was the the 1940's and they really did "save themselves back then"…). But by all estimation, she was a sensuous creature.  I know what you're thinking, she looks like your Aunt Irma in support hose.

But man, did she understand the link between food and pleasure. I have been reading a bunch of her quotes, and loved how she didn't take life too seriously.

things like:

    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook”

and "In department stores, so much kitchen equipment is bought indiscriminately by people who just come in for men's underwear."  finally, "Life itself is the proper binge."

I think sex itself is a proper binge.

MeganOh, and my favourite quote this week about sex and food comes from the stunningly beautiful Megan Fox. When asked about her new movie where she plays a "man eating demon" if she "ate the women", Miss Fox then purred "Literally or figuratively?"

now that's food and sex.

Boeuf Bourguignon
Boeuf a la Bourguignonne
[Beef Stew in Red Wine, with Bacon, Onions, and Mushrooms]

As is the case with most famous dishes, there are more ways than one to arrive at a good boeuf bourguignon. Carefully done, and perfectly flavored, it is certainly one of the most delicious beef dishes concocted by man, and can well be the main course for a buffet dinner. Fortunately, you can prepare it completely ahead, even a day in advance, and it only gains in flavor when reheated.

Vegetable and wine suggestions: Boiled potatoes are traditionally served with this dish. Buttered noodles or steamed rice may be substituted. If you also wish a green vegetable, buttered peas would be your best choice. Serve with the beef a fairly full-bodied, young red wine, such as Beaujolais, Cotes du Rhone, Bordeaux-St. Émilion or Burgundy.

For 6 people.

  • A 6-ounce chunk of bacon

Remove rind, and cut bacon into lardoons (sticks, ¼-inch thick and 1 1/2-inches long). Simmer rind and bacon for 10 minutes in 1 ½ quarts of water. Drain and dry.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

  • A 9- to 10-inch fireproof casserole 3 inches deep
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil or cooking oil
  • A slotted spoon

Sauté the bacon in the oil over moderate heat for 2 to 3 minutes to brown lightly. Remove to a side dish with a slotted spoon. Set casserole aside. Reheat until fat is almost smoking before you sauté the beef.

  • 3 pounds lean stewing beef cut into 2-inch cubes

Dry the beef in paper towels; it will not brown if it is damp. Sauté it, a few pieces at a time, in the hot oil and bacon fat until nicely browned on all sides. Add it to the bacon.

  • 1 sliced carrot
  • 1 sliced onion

In the same fat, brown the vegetables. Pour out the sautéing fat.

  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ¼ teaspoon pepper
  • 2 tablespoons flour

Return the beef and bacon to the casserole and toss with the salt and pepper. Then sprinkle on the flour. Set casserole uncovered in middle position of pre-heated oven for 4 minutes. Toss the meat and return to oven for 4 minutes more. (This browns the flour and covers the meat with a light crust.) Remove casserole, and turn oven down to 325 degrees.

  • 3 cups of a full-bodied young red wine, such as one of those suggested for serving, or a Chianti
  • 2 to 3 cups brown beef stock or canned beef bouillon
  • 1 tablespoon tomato paste
  • 2 cloves mashed garlic
  • ½ teaspoon thyme
  • A crumbled bay leaf
  • The blanched bacon rind

Stir in the wine and enough stock or bouillon so that the meat is barely covered. Add the tomato paste, garlic, herbs and bacon rind. Bring to simmer on top of the stove. Then cover the casserole and set in lower third of pre-heated oven. Regulate heat so liquid simmers very slowly for 2 ½ to 3 hours. The meat is done when a fork pierces it easily.

  • 18 to 24 small white onions, brown-braised in stock.
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1/2 cup beef stock
  • salt & fresh ground pepper
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1 sprig thyme
  • 2 sprigs parsley
  • 1 pound fresh mushrooms, quartered
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil

While the beef is cooking, prepare the onions and mushrooms.

Heat the butter and oil in a large skillet and add the onions to the skillet. Sauté over medium heat for about ten minutes, rolling the onions about so they brown as evenly as possible, without breaking apart. Pour in the stock, season to taste, add the herbs, and cover. Simmer over low heat for about 40 to 50 minutes until the onions are perfectly tender but retain their shape and the liquid has mostly evaporated. Remove the herbs and set the onions aside.

For the mushrooms, heat the butter and oil over high heat in a large skillet. As soon as the foam begins to subside add the mushrooms and toss and shake the pan for about five minutes. As soon as they have browned lightly, remove from heat. Set the mushrooms aside until needed.

When the meat is tender, pour the contents of the casserole into a sieve set over a saucepan. Wash out the casserole and return the beef and bacon to it. Distribute the cooked onions and mushrooms over the meat.

Skim the fat off the sauce. Simmer sauce for a minute or two, skimming off additional fat as it rises. You should have about 2 ½ cups of sauce thick enough to coat a spoon lightly. If too thin, boil it down rapidly. If too thick, mix in a few tablespoons of stock or canned bouillon. Taste carefully for seasoning. Pour the sauce over the meat and vegetables. (Recipe may be completed in advance to this point.)

  • Parsley sprigs

For immediate serving: Cover the casserole and simmer for 2 to 3 minutes, basting the meat and vegetables with the sauce several times. Serve in its casserole, or arrange the stew on a platter surrounded with potatoes, noodles, or rice and decorated with parsley.

For later serving: When cold, cover and refrigerate. About 15 to 20 minutes before serving, bring to the simmer, cover and simmer very slowly for 10 minutes, occasionally basting the meat and vegetables with the sauce.

Julia Child “(On what her longevity is attributed to) Red meat and gin.”  there is a woman after my own heart. What a trailblazer.   Oh, and the beef was delicious.

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The appeal of a hairy guy.

http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/willis/69/actors.htm, www.sexwithsue.com

Hairy4 I like hairy guys. Not like the gay men who worship “bears” the more gorilla-like the better, but there is nothing sexier than a man with a hairy chest. I was watching a volleyball game yesterday where all of the participants were topless. Some had hairy backs, some were hairless, but most sported a tuft or two on the playing field. I liken it to the same way guys feel about looking at women in tight t shirts.
Hairy chests in my opinion are sexy, cuddly and very masculine. One of my dinner partners at a pot luck on Sunday night said her husband’s hair (of which was substantial) is “like the teddy bear that keeps me warm. I snuggle into it every night.” I whole heartedly agree, and thing men without body hair as boyish and unappealing.
Not everyone agrees with me. In a conversation with a 23 year old friend, she said hairy guys are “gross”, and “should use the #3 trimmer on their arms, legs and backs to keep the fur under control”.  Justine Fields says she used to feel that way, but has mellowed a bit in her blog.
“Yesterday, we assaulted your eyes showed you a vomtastic advertisement waxed into a guy’s back hair. For some reason, this ad kind of reminded me of my parents. My dad is super hairy and I have no clue how my mom handles it. Whenever he takes off his shirt, I make fun of him and my mom always defends herself saying that when they got married, my dad wasn’t nearly as hairy. Because my dad’s natural sweater is so icky to me, I remember vowing as a child that I would never date anyone hairy. But since those days, I can’t say that I’ve been faithful to my younger self. I’ve dabbled with the hairless and the cavemen and I can genuinely say that I don’t prefer one to the other. As long as all the hair is tamed, I can deal.”
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-adventures-in-dating-ultra-hairy-guys/
Hairy5 This comment came up the last time I the virtues of a hairy chest. “Sue your blog brought back the horrible memory of the time I was running in the park and saw another runner come toward me, I thought to myself, “why is this guy wearing a sweater in the middle of summer?”…it wasn’t a sweater. I thought I had blocked out that memory. Thanks for bringing it back. I may never sleep again.”
This is a topic that seems to polarize women. Far more so than shape, size, age or race, women who like or don’t like hair tend to be quite adamant in their preferences.
Hairy3
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How hot, mind blowing sex is less about toys and more about intimacy

Love www.sexwithsue.com

Another sex study was released last week. This time, I know the author (another Ottawa based sex therapist- watch out, we are taking over the world!). Peggy Kleinplatz, a professor of Psychology at The University of Ottawa has commissioned a study that shows it's those gooey feelings- not the latest gadget that makes sex outstanding. The study, titled The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of ‘Great Sex’, suggests that sexual fulfilment has far less to do with technique and perfect bodies — elements most often ascribed great significance by popular culture — and more to do with such factors as presence, connection and erotic intimacy.

“Unfortunately, popular culture tells people that great sex is about varying your routines, trying new positions, buying new sex toys,” says Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz, lead author of the study.

For the study, Kleinplatz and colleague Dana Ménard interviewed 64 people — from all over the world but most from the U.S. — who had experienced great sex.

Twenty-five of those were 60 or older — recruited specifically for their age and experience in long-term relationships.

The Ottawa Citizen summarized her eight findings. It is keeping with the study on long tern love that suggested great relationships have elements of communication, trust, intimacy, adventure, openness, and the need to put your partner's needs ahead of your own.

Here are the Eight elements of great sex that contribute to the earth-moving, wall socket, mind-blowing let's-do-this-again sex.

1. Being present, focused and embodied

According to the study, being fully and completely present during sexual experiences was the first and most frequently mentioned factor contributing to great sex. As one woman described, ‘You are not a person in a situation. You are it. You are the situation.’

‘It’s being fully alive,’ says Kleinplatz, ‘in one’s skin, engaged with the partner — emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually — in the moment.’

2. Connection, alignment, merger, being in sync

The report, printed Thursday in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, notes that ‘the depth of the connection between partners was one of the most critical elements of the experience regardless of duration of the relationship.’

3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy

Kleinplatz describes this as the foundation of a relationship in which optimal sexuality becomes a possibility. It involves deep mutual respect, caring, genuine acceptance and admiration. As Kleinplatz notes, ‘you can’t trust just anyone.’

4. Extraordinary communication, heightened empathy

While marital counsellors are trained in teaching communications skills to clients, Kleinplatz describes the study’s participants as having ‘black belts’ in communications.

‘These weren’t people who learned all about the other sex’s genitalia and then just applied the technique,’ she says. ‘These were people who were so engaged in and with their partners’ bodies that they could read their partners’ responses, not only touching them, but feeling them.”

5. Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency

‘This is pretty much the opposite of self-consciousness,’ says Kleinplatz. ‘It’s allowing oneself to be emotionally naked while being seen by a partner.’ One of the study’s subjects noted ‘I don’t know that I’m capable of having great sex anymore without caring about a partner.’

6. Transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation, healing

Participants in the study often reported a sense of timelessness or the infinite during great sex. ‘There was often a moment of aliveness beyond anything they’d experienced before,’ says Kleinplatz. ‘Their experience often really was exalted, and (the subjects) would use language borrowed from religion to describe it, because there are no words in the vocabulary of sexology to describe it.’

7. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking, fun

This, says Kleinplatz, is where participants describe sex as an adventure. She uses a line from The Who song Bargain: ‘I’m looking for a free ride to me. I’m looking for you.’

‘I’ve always thought it was one of the most erotic lines I’ve heard,’ she adds. ‘This is about being on a journey of self-discovery, with sex as the pathway.

‘And it’s also a lot of fun.’

8. Vulnerability and surrender

‘If authenticity is about what’s happening within and choosing to be emotionally naked,’ Kleinplatz explains, ‘vulnerability is more about the willingness to be seen naked. It’s an awareness that I’m letting you inside of me, penetrating one another’s souls.’

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The art and science of the standing blow job

Bj1 www.sexwithsue.com

I was asked this week about "what's new in oral sex". My blog yesterday on the trials of mouth bacteria may be something you aren't familiar with, as is Ian Kerner's thoughts on the standing blow job.  Apparently, having giving head to a standing participant will increase the blood flow and improve the rigidity of the erection. It was something I suggested to the expecting couples in a prenatal sex class I taught. Pregnant woman aren't supposed to lie flat on their backs as it constricts the blood flow to the uterus along the dorsal artery. Most women (pregnant or otherwise) find reaching orgasm lying flat on their backs harder than when they are propped up a bit.

So I thought with the summer of love upon us (where it is easy to find a rock to lean against) that Kerner's suggestion for standing oral sex might be welcome.

 Kerner, the author of He Comes Next, guys are claiming that the hottest new way to be paid lip service is while standing. "More blood rushes to the pelvic region while they're on their feet, resulting in a firmer erection and ultimately a much more intense orgasm," says Kerner.

Ready to blow your guy's mind? Have him stand upright with his feet staggered, near a chair, countertop, or door frame (he may need to grab on for support when his legs start quaking). Kneel in front of him using a pillow as a cushion. Then hold his penis in one hand and take him into your mouth, alternating between sucking and licking.

Once he starts shaking in ecstasy, form an O-ring with the thumb and forefinger of your free hand and place it firmly around the base of his penis above the testicles. "There are dorsal veins that run along either side of his shaft that pump blood into the penis," says Kerner. "Because he's standing, those veins are more engorged than usual. Applying pressure at the base creates a tourniquet-like effect, keeping more blood in his penis for a truly explosive orgasm." Bj2

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Anal sex. Why bend over boning is now in vogue.

Ass

www.sexwithsue.com,

It used to be that few heterosexual couples engaged in anal intercourse. And those who did, rarely spoke of it. It didn’t mean you hadn’t tried it, or weren’t curious about it, but when you have no clear information (or it is a secret nobody discussed), then you learn that “up the butt” is bad. The only information you got was from “clinical doctor-type” pamphlets that said anal sex leads to a loose sphincter (so you can’t hold in properly, which is a scare-mongering myth). Or from porn stars who looked liked they were taking a tree trunk up their ass and enjoying it. agh!

Fortunately ass play is beginning to come of age. The new study from the home of crazy sex surveys, Rutgers University claim that 27% of all couples engage in anal sex. I think it’s closer to 35% but I have no stats beyond years of speaking to thousands of couples to back up my numbers. What’s happened is that there is loads more information about the part A into slot B and how to’s than there ever was before. So if you need some details (check out my blog on anal sex 101 as told to me during my interview with Nina Hartley), then here is a list of what’s hot and new in detailed butt sex information:

A new book, “Master Class: Anal Sex,” is scheduled to be published this month by the Erotic Print Society. It will be a guide complete “with professional photographs that pull no punches and specially commissioned drawings.”

But it will be competing in a crowded field. “Anal Sex for Couples: A Guaranteed Guide for Painless Pleasure,” came out last fall, and the “Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” (second edition) by Village Voice columnist and porn director/producer Tristan Taormino arrived a year ago. Later this month, she will release her new instructional video, “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex.” And The New York Times named a memoir of anal sex, “The Surrender,” by former ballet dancer Toni Bentley, one of the most notable books of 2004.

I interviewed Toni Bentley (there’s a blog about that in my archives too), but I’ll see if I can dig up and add the audio of the interview here tomorrow. In the meantime, have a look at this very, very funny clip about identifying your partner’s asshole.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuDyaKBG9Ew

[sc name=”Contact Sue eform” ]

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A list of hot, sexy, erotic and fun things to do with and to your partner

www.sexwithsue.com

Erotica3 

Once upon a time, there were these two people hot for each other.  They couldn’t keep their hands to themselves when they were together. The sex was fantastic and they christened every flat surface in their mutual apartments.  They went parking, and walked hand and hand together and found themselves very much in love. After a reasonable amount of time, when these feelings grew even stronger, the two got married (or shacked up), and proceeded to build a life together.  They picked out china patterns started jobs, moved, left jobs and generally lived their lives. The sex got less frequent and after they had kids, it became even less frequent.  The passion they once felt for each other seemed liked a distant memory. When they did have sex, she often hid her stretch marks and he/she fantasized about someone from work.  The intimacy became routine, and the time they had together seemed to be squeezed in after a laundry list of chores, conflicting schedules, daily pressures and worries.  They thought longingly about the time when creative sex came easy.  They think about having sex with each other and stifle a yawn.  They wonder how it got to this stage, and don’t know how to kick start their romantic lives again…..

 

This isn’t a fantasy story, it’s an all too common scenario from happily married couples. They stay together but the sex becomes routine.

 

The most common question I get as a sex therapist, especially from women,  is how do I keep my bedroom life interesting, creative and put that zing back into my relationship.  If the thought of having sex with the same person for the next 40 years—the same body, the same way, with the same responses has most people running screaming out the door.  Think about it,  in-out, repeat if necessary sex can quickly slip into routine and even downright boring without a little adventure and passion.  These tips are all about the latest, information in sex research, new techniques you may not have heard about, and suggestions for keeping your sex life from slipping into the ho hum, “Do we really have to, I have a headache” behavior.   Making it hot… you know the way it reads in those Harlequin Romances that tons of women read when you think no one’s looking.  You know the scenario, “Dirk thrust his manly hand under veronica’s petticoat, feeling her ample boosums heaving….”  The kind of romances that your Grandmother used to leave at the cottage.  This book will outline how you can have an all grown up romance or affair with your significant other.  Hell, sex is adult play, and if you can’t play act with the one that’s seen you up close and personal, then who can you play with???

 

 

 

“When I got to the door, he stood there smiling. His hair was still wet from the shower he had taken before he left. I jumped up to give him a hug and as he squeezed me so tightly I could smell the clean scent of his body. I wanted so much to be with him.

 

We went up to our room and fell onto my bed. He lie there on top of me and kissed me so softy and gently. His hand on my face reassured me of his affection and that everything was okay. After a few minutes of making out I rolled over on top of him, still joint at the mouth, and slowly slid my hand down his stomach and into his pants. I could tell he got excited because I felt him stop and smile for a second, and then kissed me with more aggression and enthusiasm. His breathing started to speed up as I firmly grasped his penis…..”

 

Do you remember those sensations?  When you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself?  Well when I ask my sex therapy patients about the best sex they’ve ever had in their lives they talk to me about High School. When you could do everything else but intercourse.  The touching, heavy petting, foreplay, oral sex, teeth grinding sexual frustration, hickeys, and incredible heat that made your body vibrate in anticipation… You remember, there is nothing more exciting than a new relationship, and we all can’t compete with Brad and Angelina kind of heat, we can kick start our own love affair.

 

 

This list is the primer, everything I can find on keeping it hot, (and it is constantly being updated) keeping your relationship together, and learning about all the new play things

 

If sex is the second most powerful drive in the human body after food, and if most of either are having sex or want to be having sex, how come we have such bad, boring sex?  Or how do we have so many hang ups about what is a natural urge that is part of everyone’s lives.  This book is the culmination of all that’s new, interesting and fun in sex information.  It’s the latest sex tips, the very best toys, and how they can be used to enhance your relationships, and cutting edge techniques that will leave your partner gasping for air, after reaching incredible sexual peaks.

It’s the best sex suggestions I could find, put together in quick easy ideas that won’t involve swinging from the chandelier and can be manageable, simple suggestions for improving your sex life.

 

I won’t promise that these tips will change your life, but I will say that if you leave it in the bathroom with a few pages highlighted, you may be surprised about how open your partner is to trying new things….

   

  1. Drive around naked. Find a place to go parking that is off the beaten path. In

    Ontario

    cars are considered private property, and you have the expectation of privacy if you are well away from other people in a secluded environment.

 

  1. Picnics and outdoor sex generally crank up the endorphins.

 

  1. Do it yourself bondage. By placing two hands in a pillow case behind your back and lying down, your own body weight safely and easily traps your hands for quick immobilization.

 

  1. Canadian Tire sex toys. Visit the house wares and get a “massager” that plugs into the wall. 110 volts makes the best sex toys. Drop sheets for rolling around in oil, practicing squirting, and playing with chocolate body paint.

 

  1. Venus Envy – great sex store for women and couples. They have great classes where you can learn everything from Japanese rope bondage, to make your own sex toys.

 

320 Lisgar Street

 

Ottawa

,

ON

K2P 0E2

 - (613) 789-4646
1 review, directions, and more »
www.venusenvy.ca

 

  1. Dollar store shopping.  Cheap paintbrushes for writing on your body in oil,  water based paints for getting really creative, water balloons (get wet inside and out), lightest sandpaper, and small LTD flashlights (for playing gynecologist).

 

  1. Douche bags to clean out vaginas (and separate ones for rectums…) With warm water, it helps clean out every orifice and makes the way clear for loads of oil and lube vagina play  and anal sex.

 

  1. Butterscotch instant pudding. Or chocolate, vanilla (or anything that tickles your fantasies…)

 

9. Breathless. A club downtown on Lisgar above Venus Envy, this is where the kinky go to play.  Described as “Breathless is a community centre and private club that caters to alternative lifestyles such as BDSM, swinging, GLBTQ, goth, pagan, and many more. We are a sex-on-premises club and promote safe sex.”

 

They often have workshops, games nights and discussion groups. If you want to watch someone being whipped, or have thoughts of polyamoury (loving more than one person) this is the group for you.  Run by a dominate woman named Mistress Jenn, it is quite a place.

 

  1. Adventure camping – White water rafting, bungee jumping, anything that gets your adrenaline jumping will kick start things in the bedroom.

 

  1. Tea and ice cube- The combination of the hot and cold on your genitals can be quite the sensation.

 

  1. Clit piercing. The best in town is Future skin on Rideau. Well known for their safe practices, and experience, a clit piercing can help women who have trouble reaching orgasm climax.

 

  1. Nudist Clubs. You can spend a day at the adult only resort in5 km outside of Cassleman called East Haven for $25 a couple ($20 a single). Less than an hour outside of the city, they are open May to September, and have naked volleyball, dances, BBQ’s. You can also rent a very nice cabin for $85 a night. They have a hot tub, swimming pool, and is a great place just to test your limits in a safe way. Check out their site for directions http://www.webruler.com/benude.

 

  1. The local couples, and adult clubs. Range from just a very sexy place to dance, to full on orgies on site. If you stay upstairs at both clubs, you can have a safe, sexy, super erotically charged evening without risking anything weird in your own relationship. The good news is that according to the Supreme Court of Canada, sex clubs are legal in

    Canada

    , so they are really very safe. One is in

    Aylmer

    (D & D, and the other B& B is off Hawthorne Dr in the east end) It’s $40 to be a member, and $40 per couple on every visit. Go see www.Clubd-d.com and www.bashfulandbold.com

 

  1. Grocery store stuff – Anything from the typical whipped cream and cucumbers, to caramel sauce (for human sundae’s), jello (a very interesting internal sensation), and stimulation devices such as toothpicks (fun top play mad scientist going genital experiments, pizza wheels- you get the idea.

 

  1. Write your own sexual fantasy. There are a bunch of websites that help, but I just like taking any erotic story I like off the web, changing it up a bit, and leaving it in installments on your partner’s lunchbag or as suggestive messages on their voicemail.

 

  1. Games- Strip poker (so much better with friends), or sexy bingo that get you trying things you wouldn’t normally do. Sometimes if the game tells you, you might feel less inhibited than if you thought of then yourself.

 

  1. Fantasy clothes. Getting a tickle trunk and putting in all the Halloween costumes you have (buying them right after Halloween is a great idea), the Salvation army for sexy school girl and other cheap skanky clothes is fun. Then play the pirate wench, or the naughty nurse, the fireman or border patrol officer can be very sexy.

 

 

 

Tips 1.  Chocolate

 

Everyone knows that chocolate is one of the basic food groups, and is an essential part of most women’s diet.  It’s got that chemical in it that makes you feel like you’re in love, and the smell of melting chocolate has been proven (along with cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, baking bread and almond oil) to significantly increase the testosterone levels (this means the sex drive) in men.  Basically food smells turn guys on.

 

Here’s what you do:

 

Take some chocolate chips and melt them in the microwave on over a double boiler until soft.  Add some cream, and a little bit of your favourite alcohol (my preference is Bailey’s) and stir until it makes a warm, sauce like consistency.

 

Get a cheap paint brush (handy at any dollar store) and proceed to draw pictures and write poems on your partners naked body.  Lick off, roll around in the chocolate sauce, use as a lubricant,  squeeze it on your partner and use as finger paint.  Generally get messy.

 

Variation: The quick, don’t have time version is to use Jello chocolate instant pudding.  Great for finger painting, but cold.  Especially great outdoors in the summer where you can clean up with the garden hose…

 

Toys

 

There are lots chocolate based sex products that come ready to use.  Everything from chocolate flavoured condoms (hey, even if you are monogamous and safe, it’s always fun to have a little chocolate latex, it doesn’t really taste as much as offer up an incredible smell of chocolate).  There is the Hot Stuff warming oils in a chocolate and chocolate mint and at least ten types of chocolate body paint in every flavour, (chocolate banana, orange, strawberry—you get the theme)

 

 

Fantasy script

 

Adding fantasy to the bedroom is a common way of taking sex to the next level and creating excitement in a safe way.  Men in particular like the role-playing and the feeling of being with “new” partner.  Evolutionary biologists talk about how men are wired to be attracted to newness of sex, and by pretending to be a new partner – wigs, blindfolds, behaving in a different way can seriously reve up the passion in any relationship.  Keeping it hot, or how can we keep our sex life from falling into a routine to where it’s almost boring, is one of the most frequent questions I get when speaking to groups- especially women’s groups. Realizing that men and women process sex information differently and knowing how to get the reaction you are hoping for from your partner is important if you are nervous about how to bring it up in your relationship.

 

 

  Here’s what to do:

Women want the story – historical romance fantasy say enacting a Victorian prostitute and policeman scene which is enormously popular with women, while men are visual and like see the props, like lingerie or costumes.   While surveys say that the most common male fantasy is sex with two or more women at the same time, men’s second most favourite fantasy involves being passive and taken advantaged of by the nurse, school teacher, or dominant women executive.  This is great because most women also like being the boss and bringing their partner to their knees.  Women’s other favourite fantasy involves being taken, and swept away in the passion of the moment.

 

Try writing down you’re your fantasies and swaping them during the day, or sending them as an e-mail or voicemail, reading erotic literature to each other, play strip poker that has sharing your fantasies as a requirement – anything to start communicating about the sex scenes playing in your head. One of the big differences between men and women’s sexuality is in the speed in which they get aroused.  Men tend to react quickly, especially around newness. A new partner, hope of new partner, new smell etc.  Hell, men’s testicles can break speed records moving up inside their chest cavity when they hit cold water.  Although it slows down  as men get older, the ability to get a quick erection instantly when aroused,  means they are able to take advantage of any waiting orfice.

 

Evolutionary biologists talk about this opportunity to quickly jump on any willing (and sometimes unwilling) partner is a leftover of our not-too-distant past where men’s biological job was to inseminate as many women as possible.  This means we come by the rape, and pillage honestly by some randy ancestor.  As I point out on my radio show, we are only 1000 generations from being in a cave somewhere and anytime you think you aren’t ruled by your biology, think again.

 

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Demi Moore's bush, or why big hair was all the rage in the 80's

www.sexwithsue.com, http://ready2beat.com/entertainment/demi-moore-bush-photos-comedy-central, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iD0bovrZyE

Demi%20bushIf you came of age in the 80's (as I did) you remember Bon Jovi, Whitesnake and all those "big hair" bands that made up style in popular music. My own mane was hair sprayed within inches of it's life, and while it wasn't the "braless, au naturel" feeling that was popular in the 70's, pubic grooming had yet to come into vogue.

Hanging out in women's locker rooms and on nude beaches you see lots of different sized and shaped bodies. You also see a great variety of pubic styles. Most these days are clean shaven, or come with a sexy racing stripe, but you very rarely get to see the "crazy bush" very often. Now Demi Moore's 80's picture (now made popular from David Tosh of Comedy Central) has me saying WOW now that's a bush, and is a great example of 80's full frontal nudity. 

My favourite comedians the Doo Wops (two Italians) do a great song called 'Crazy Bush" which is one of their funniest songs (in a group that won Just for laughs last year, so they know funny), and is worth checking out. I still giggle when I hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iD0bovrZyE

Anyway, hats off to Demi. She's an outspoken nudist (and looks hot in the pictures, although I prefer the "grown up Demi") and is showing off her world class bush. Now for those who struggle to keep their bush from creeping down to their knees (and I understand the struggle) Demi's bush may be a shining example to throw away the Nair and let nature take over the jungle. Otherwise you might have an experience like the women below (and let me just say that the reason it is so funny is that it strikes close to home….). Enjoy.  Demi

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah…right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself….RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!….OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out…must stay conscious…must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe…OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy – a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip…it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake…remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.

My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub – the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment – I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub….in scalding hot water.  Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.  

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now…I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace….the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.  'IT WORKS!!

It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair….THE HAIR IS STILL THERE…….ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color…… 

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DHEA, the hormone you might not know about that affects your sex drive.

www.sexwithsue.com
The continuing saga of women and libido loss. It’s a daily battle in my office, and I take the issue seriously. So seriously in fact, that I have spent a bit of time in labs examining molecules and learning the latest about bio-identical hormones and how they can help. I also took my own advice and had my own extensive blood hormonal work up done so I could use myself as the guinea pig. This survey was done by my friend Kent MacLeod at www.nutrichem.com    and it is what they do for Olympic athletes to determine where your oxidative stress, antioxidants, amino acids, urinary organic acids, and essential fatty acids are completely analyzed. It turns out I am low in something called “carnatine”, and my DHEA is outside the normal limits. Just when you think menopause is years out.
DHEA or Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is defined as a multi-functional steroid that has been implicated in a broad range of biological effects in humans and other mammals.  Produced by the adrenal glands (so chronic stress can deplete it and burn out your adrenals), it is what women turn into testosterone.
A normal test fro DHEA is 1.65 to 9.15. Eek! When I explain to my patients that they are having as much luck improving their libido with a supplement of DHEA (available over the counter in the US, and by prescription in Canada).
The herbal supplement of beta hydroxy5 (or synonyms: 3-beta-Hydroxy-5-androsten-17-one, 3.beta.-Hydroxyandrost-5-en-17-one, 3beta-hydroxy-5-androsten-17-one, 3beta-hydroxy-androst-5-en-17-one, 3beta-Hydroxy-D5-androsten-17-one, 3beta-Hydroxyandrost-5-en-17-one, 3beta-Hydroxyandrost-5-ene-17-one, 3-beta-hydroxy-etioallocholan-5-ene-17-one , 5-Androsten-3beta-ol-17-one).
Since libido is a complex issue and it is more than just one  hormone (however each one is important), I’m interested to see if adding some to the mix will impact me (and the women patients who are looking for the whole package of physical, spiritual, emotional, and sexual balance.)
I’ll keep you posted about my journey to keep my hormones perfectly balanced (and keep the hormone crazies at bay). If you have a bit of the crazies, or feel that sexual desire is something that happens to other people (and not you), I encourage you to look for the libido diet  in an earlier blog or schedule an appointment. Let’s get this respoled.

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National "Leave Work Early Day". Run home now and have afternoon sex

Cuddle2 I love those crazy event days that are listed in the international directory of special occasions. Everything from "take your mailman to lunch" to "nude recreation week". Today, June 2nd, is Leave work early (and bang your partner like a pooch in heat) Day. Well, I added the last part, but as your sex therapist (and how many real live – not wannabe sex therapist's do you actually know?), I want more people to make love not war. Take part of your day to give your partner a squeeze and get some. "what the world needs now"…. 

Afternoon sex is always my favourite. I'm always horniest during the day. Men typically have the highest testosterone rates first thing in the morning, but women really like a quick nooner, or afternoon delight. I can even write you a prescription (I have brand new prescription pads) for sex. "For medicinal value, the bearer of this note shall be excused from work, class, mowing the yard or whatever they are supposed to be doing, to leave work early and go home and practice their sexual techniques."  signed, Sue McGarvie, Clinical sex therapist.

There, you have no excuse. Forward this blog to your sweetie, and plan on signing out for sex. Consider it your mandate today.

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The adventures of the stripping magician. If only I thought of it.. or had a body like that.

http://files.ww.com/files/21406.html  www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com, http://www.seethemagic.com/ , www.sexyandfunny.com

 StripWe had dinner with an old friend and his wife this week. Elliott the magician (who will be inducted into the order of Merlin this year) came over to get caught up socially and show us a new magic trick. Always dazzling, conversation drifted to the art of entertainment, and he mentioned the Just for laughs performance of the "stripping slight-of-hand performer." Blaik already knew about it (I can always trust him to source out the nudist adventures. smile)  Anyway, its a sexy video of a woman who keeps losing her little red handkerchief in her clothing. Of course the clothes need to come off to find out where it might be lost. Funny, talented stripping burlesque. It made me smile, and got the hats off by at least a couple of connoisseurs.