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How to keep your relationship hot? Ask your partner about their sexual fantasies

www.sexwithsue.com,

Decoding love http://www.amazon.com/Decoding-Love-Revelations-Science-Attraction/dp/1583333312
Between watching the Vancouver Olymipics this weekend, I'm reading a book by Andrew Trees called Decoding Love. It's subtitled "Why it takes twelve frogs to find a prince and other revelations from the science of attraction."

There are loads of insights, which I am still trying to digest. I'll add that to my new book on evolutionary biology with has some fascinating thoughts about why people cheat. Apparently according to Trees and Bunson (the other science book), we are collectively 76% likely to fool around on our partners. Women are 20-40% likely to fool around.

The chemistry of attraction takes 2-3 years to wane before we start to feel "neutrality" (isn't that a scary word) about our partners. One of the most interesting facts that Tress presents is the insight into women's fantasies. Women who fantasize about other men are the ones most likely to cheat. However if you encourage a range of creative fantasies with your sweetie it also keeps the relationship fresh and interesting. You may run the risk of her looking at the next guy, but you keep her heat up for spin offs in your own bedroom. 

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Happy New Year1 TOP 8 NEW SEXUAL THINGS TO TRY THIS YEAR

One of my New Year's resolutions (besides eating less chocolate, blowing off the dust on our Wii fit, and to stop leaving my boots at the top of the stairs) is to blog more regularly. This way, just like on The corner Gas episode, everyone involved can tune me up if I lapse.

So in keeping with this theme of Newness, here are the top 8 new sex things (you may or may not have tried this year.

8. Hardware Store or vintage vibrators- They are the best. In Canada we get Canadian Tire money for ones that plug into the wall, and deliver 110 volts of lov'n. Ebay can give you a ready supply of The Phillips beauty set, a vintage vibrator that ranks as my personal fav.

7. Take a Trip to Hedonism. Large re-curring groups of people flock to Jamaica different weeks of the year, and get Fabulous group rates. Try The Bubbly Bares, or Fluffernutters. We`'ve seen rates out of Canada (with air included) for less than $1000.

6. Dollar store enema douche. I kid you not. They are marketed in the Qtip and pharmacy section of the dollar stores as douches, but are Great water disposable enema`s for couples wanting to be scrupulously clean for light touch in and around that erogenous zone.

5. Magnesium-glycinate – Known as 'mega-mag' it is an amazing mineral that your body doesn`t get nearly enough of, and will seriously increase your sex drive.

4. We vibe – The number 1 sex toy in the world, is great with couples, and offers female orgasms for women who want to climax during intercourse.

3. Ipod application of 365 positions – New email and downloaded app that will show you different positions to try each day of the year. Many are variations on the same theme (or require a level of gymnastic ability that escapes me), but they are fun to look at and can often kick-start the conversation.

2. Mango love oil andthe corkscrew hand job- made famous by porn star Asia Carrara, warmed oil is the secret of many a infamous mistress. For the enthusiastic novice warm some oil (women love scented ones) and simulate either opening a screw top on the clitoris, or simulating opening a wine bottle for penile play.

1. A fist in the bush – For couples whom have mastered the art of squirting or are looking for a new technique to master, the art of fisting may be less scary and more interesting than at first glance. You can`t get over stretched (your muscles will bring you back to the right size), and it can offer a completely new sensation for couples who are gentle and communicative. I`ll provide instructions based on the new sex technique book out. 

Happy New Year everyone, and let`s hope we all keep our resolutions.

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The appeal of a hairy guy.

http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/willis/69/actors.htm, www.sexwithsue.com

Hairy4 I like hairy guys. Not like the gay men who worship “bears” the more gorilla-like the better, but there is nothing sexier than a man with a hairy chest. I was watching a volleyball game yesterday where all of the participants were topless. Some had hairy backs, some were hairless, but most sported a tuft or two on the playing field. I liken it to the same way guys feel about looking at women in tight t shirts.
Hairy chests in my opinion are sexy, cuddly and very masculine. One of my dinner partners at a pot luck on Sunday night said her husband’s hair (of which was substantial) is “like the teddy bear that keeps me warm. I snuggle into it every night.” I whole heartedly agree, and thing men without body hair as boyish and unappealing.
Not everyone agrees with me. In a conversation with a 23 year old friend, she said hairy guys are “gross”, and “should use the #3 trimmer on their arms, legs and backs to keep the fur under control”.  Justine Fields says she used to feel that way, but has mellowed a bit in her blog.
“Yesterday, we assaulted your eyes showed you a vomtastic advertisement waxed into a guy’s back hair. For some reason, this ad kind of reminded me of my parents. My dad is super hairy and I have no clue how my mom handles it. Whenever he takes off his shirt, I make fun of him and my mom always defends herself saying that when they got married, my dad wasn’t nearly as hairy. Because my dad’s natural sweater is so icky to me, I remember vowing as a child that I would never date anyone hairy. But since those days, I can’t say that I’ve been faithful to my younger self. I’ve dabbled with the hairless and the cavemen and I can genuinely say that I don’t prefer one to the other. As long as all the hair is tamed, I can deal.”
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-adventures-in-dating-ultra-hairy-guys/
Hairy5 This comment came up the last time I the virtues of a hairy chest. “Sue your blog brought back the horrible memory of the time I was running in the park and saw another runner come toward me, I thought to myself, “why is this guy wearing a sweater in the middle of summer?”…it wasn’t a sweater. I thought I had blocked out that memory. Thanks for bringing it back. I may never sleep again.”
This is a topic that seems to polarize women. Far more so than shape, size, age or race, women who like or don’t like hair tend to be quite adamant in their preferences.
Hairy3

What is it about sexy doctors and nurses that turns us on so much?

http://www.avclub.com/articles/scrubsthemed-porno-to-do-for-dr-cox-what-officethe,24873/

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20 minute workout. Hot, sweaty, and good for you

Workout1 Related topics: www.sexwithsue.com, www.schoolofsquirting.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.20minuteworkout.com

Do you remember the 20 minute workout? The cheesy, soft-core porn like aerobic workout with the big haired-girls in the 80's? 

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Say "aye sexy" and wear your eye patch, as tomorrow is International Talk like a pirate day

Pirates2 related topics: www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com,
Guess what. You don’t need another excuse to play fantasy games of the bosom-heaving damsel and boat of unwashed pirates. Tomorrow, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Don’t believe me? Check out talklikeapirate.com, and practice up on your lingo and get costume ideas. If it’s a Friday dress-down-at-work-day, send out the email that everyone comes in cool boots and an eye patch.  Or you can read about the sex lives of pirates and learn how to  Unleash Your Inner Buccaneer.” But if you’re a modern day piratewith modern day needs, celebrate the pirate holiday by downloading a new application for your iPhone: the ayePhone.
That’s right, the ayePhone, made by Area 45 software, lets you live vicariously as a pirate tomorrow and every day. The application makes pirate sounds, such as “yo ho ho” and “walk the plank,” and allows you to feel like a real, live pirate, but without the puffy shirt and eye patch and plundering and all that. Although I’m wondering what the fun is in that.
Pirates3 Tomorrow is also a good day to rent the x rated movie – Pirates (a boat load of women pirates) with lots, and lots of sex and boys on their knees. It was the porn movie of the year last year, with a huge budget, loads of skin which won all the awards.  It’s always good to do something hot for your sweetie, and all women are secretly hot for pirates. Or maybe it’s just that all women are hot for Johnny Depp.
 
 
 

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Women have wierd sexual fantasies (don't let us fool you)


Related topics: www.sexwithsue.com, www.prematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com, movies.toptenreviews.com, www.amazon.com/My-Secret-Garden-Womens-Fantasies/dp/0671019872 – 255k
I think women have as great a sexual imagination as men do -and maybe are just as kinky. Hard to know, but we certainly hold our own in the hot thought department. In my “the truth is way stranger than fiction life” I’ve been helping one female patient through her fantasies that are sexually really, really out there.  A very nice woman, regular job, ordinary relationship, kids, and who wants to engage in “full consumption toilet play” (meaning please pee and defecate all over her), along with having her breasts being stomped on as part of her regular sexual play. hmmm, As the therapist I’m trying to impart important safety tips (like having me caution her about scary play that can leave her with permannety damaged) without making my yikes face about painful thoughts of “that must hurt!!!”…
If you do a google search on sexual fantasies, you get mainly male fantasiesloads of women in lingerie, but the truth is that many, many women are thinking naughty thoughts that might leave you blushing.
Nancy Friday did her graduate research on women’s sexual fantasies, and had women send them into her. They were so diverse and fascinating she published a best selling series called “My Secret Garden” and “Forbidden Flowers”, and is super racy. I remember reading them on a flight back from Vancouver in my late teens, and I don’t think I have ever been as aroused by any erotica before or since. I love hearing about what other women find hot.  I think more women are going through stages of submission, domination, costumed, threesome, and even more kinky fantasies than they ever let out of their over active imaginations. At least they are writing, talking, and communicating about them in greater numbers than ever before. Or, they could have the fantasies like Rosie O’Donnel did in the movie version of Exit to Eden (which I though was a hot version, of a great Anne Rice book), when answered “paint my house” when asked her fantasy in the movie. As I scrub paint off my hands for yet another day, I can certainly relate.
If you want to talk about your fantasies and how you can sort them out or fulfill them send me a note or book an appointment.

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The 100 things to do before you die sex list

related topics: www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.cbc.ca/cp/entertainment/080826/e082604A.html

100 Dave Freeman, the 47 year old ad executive who co-authored the book 100 Things to do before you Die, fell off a ladder at his home in LA and died. Very sad, and it caused me to wonder how far he got down his list? 47 isn't nearly old enough to do all the crazy things I want to do before I get taken away feet first. Hell, I think I'll have to live to 127, just to get everything in. It's like Robert Duvall in the movie Second Hand Lions, who lives an incredible life and dies flying a bi-plane upside down through a barn together in their 90's. Freeman's death is a reminder to live every day like it could be your last, and make the most out of the time you have. I was thinking about my 100 things; a list that includes snorkle off the Great Barrier Reef, running a marathon, hot air ballooning over the Serengeti etc. and then realized that much of my own personal list has serious sexual overtones. Go figure.  They include a night of naked debauchery at Carnival in Rio, joining the mile high club, re-enacting that subway scene from Risky Business, sex outside all night under the stars, a naked massage with four masseuses among other things. The list goes on and on and on. So I'm going to finish my own very personal list – but challenge you to make up your own and try something new this weekend. Labor Day, the summer swansong, and it's time to be a little sexually adventurous. Walk on the wild side, and stay away from ladders this weekend. Giddy up.

The Top male sexual fantasies? Sex with two women? Sex with three women? You might be surprised…

Domination That according to phone sex workers polled by the EROS foundation of Australia, the most popular call in sex fantasy was being dominated by a sexy and powerful woman. Bring on the weekend dominatrixes, because it turns men on. I believe that a good 70% of men are somewhat or seriously sexually submissive. But sometimes the numbers really do surprise me. A full 43% of calls were to be told forcefully what to do in the bedroom, or be tied up and punished, along with playing houseboy, or be forced to dress in women's clothes. 43%! I know men have an innate, psycholgical need to be led by strong, sexual women (either becuase they were raised by strong women and part of their pyche needs that, or that they make descision all day and want to be sexually submissive in bed, the theories abound as to why). The truth is that men love to be rough housed by a stong womna, particularly in dominate clothes. Go figure.

Schoolgirl Sex with women in the school girl outfits followed at 23%, followed by anal sex at 15%. Rounding out the top five was the whole MILF thing – or sex with an older woman, followed by what everyone assumes would be the most common, sex with two women at a time holding down a measly 9% of respondents. Anal1

So if the numbers are true (and I'm inclined to believe them as they stand up with other fantasy polls), you should spend the weekend in black leather and whips, followed by the tarty girl in ponytails, and then bend over and wiggle your bottom to really drive him over the edge.  Hmm… well I guess that's fair if he'll play Tarzan in a loincloth, or Erol Flynn the pirate, or any of the other common women sexual fantasies in return. I'm told that costume stores do a booming business all through the year, not just at Halloween so find an outfit and start yodelling.

Something about a woman in a correctional officer uniform

Border I stopped in to see my friend Charlie yesterday.  Short for Charlene, (never call her that), she was my general manager when I had plans to conquer the world of adult retailing. I’ve been out of the business a couple of years, and although much of the crazy pink, sparkly merchandise remains the same, there are a few new things.  I asked her what was really moving, and she looked at me in that head-tilted way of hers and said "do you know what we can’t keep in stock?" Yup, those corrections officer/border patrol/police woman sexy outfits. She said all the rage from the law enforcement community (sexy play when you get out of the work clothes, and into related type clothing…) and for bachelor parties are women with handcuffs, batons, and a desire to frisk you.  I guess there are lots of bad boys out there.

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Playing sailor girl

Fantasy2 I was cleaning out my purse this morning (a weekly occurance) and found the list of role playing fantasies that were brainstormed during my workshop last week with Midori. I thought if you were bored, (and given Halloween costumes are dirt cheap right now – I ought an angel one for $1), I thought i would write out the list of suggestions.  If there isn’t something here that turns your crank, well then you may have given up sex for longer than the Leafs have been losing….

Here they are:

rocker/groupie, football player/cheerleader, pimp/ho, parent/baby, cowboys, pirate, firemen, barmaid/saloongirl and lawman, knight/princess, strangers, stowaway and captain, POW/torturer, drill sargent/recruit, hitchiker, witch/mermaid,vampire and food source(?), santa/elves( hmmm Santa), virgin/rapist, dom/slave, kidnapper/victim, alien/human, teacher or coach/athlete, shrink/patient, john/hooker, poolboy, doctor/patient, warden/prisoner, housewife/pizzaboy, homeland security/innocent tourist, pilot/flight attendent/passenger, landowner/trespasser, bike courier/business women