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Why I love Halloween and why I'll be buying discount costumes this week!

Halloween is my favourite holiday. It involves chocolate, scary movies, lots of Michael Jackson’s 80’s songs, and becoming anything I want to be for an evening. It’s the time you can buy discount gloves, funky pantyhose and cool contact lenses. I get to dress like a pirate and say “Arrrr”. It also means that you can flaunt your sexy self in a fun, creative and safe way. I went to three Halloween parties this year and the enthusiasm for the holiday abounded. Lots of diversity, lots of people feeling fun, frisky and sexy. It doesn’t mean trashy (Spif went to two of the parties in one of his three tuxes looking like Kevin Spacey), but it can. It means playfuland sex as I tell everyone is adult play. It’s the time of year when typical rules around buttoned down parent and office worker by day becomes your Superhero alter ego by night. I wish there were costume parties every month.

As a sex therapist I’m always encouraging fantasies, role playing and feeling sexy. For women especially, feeling sexy means looking pretty and having great shoes. I mean women get that its all about the clothes. Most men  interest in clothes involves taking it off of us, or what we look like in lingerie. I constantly preach the need for newness to create that heat that ensures passion the other 364 days a year. You NEED to play with your partner. So I encourage you to start a tickle trunk this week. The Halloween costumes are 70% off and you can find a few sexy things to wow your sweetie. Consider it a date night and go play with leftover bunny costumes. It’s good for your relationship, imperative for keeping up the passion, and will let you drop those inhibitions.  I’m looking forward to seeing the pictures.

How to be your own sex therapist. 5 things you can do to improve your intimate life.

Maybe mechanics feel this way about negligent car owners. As a Sex and Relationship Therapist I know ow much work relationships take to stay connected and sexy. Couples love each other but are too busy running in place to make their relationship a priority. Kids come, date night stops, and before you know it “you’ve lost that loving feeling”. It’s insidious. You are busy getting everyone to activities, making dinner and walking the dog. The relationship gets frayed -often badly- at the edges.
Making time and spending on your relationship is critical. After o to their grave loving someone over 23 years in private practice I’ve learned a few key truths. First as long as there is love, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Trading your partner in for a younger, sexier model isn’t always the best strategy. People can go to their grave loving someone, but they may not connect sexually very well. Or the sex can be dynamite, but living with that person may not be all that’s cracked up to be. Secondly, intimacy takes work. Unless you are taking on lovers (and newness keeps things interesting most of the time), it takes real effort to keep a love life creative and swinging from the chandeliers.
So what can you do to be your own sex therapist?
Here are my top five simple things you can do to be your own sex therapist.
1. Plan sensuous date nights at least twice a month. This means a three hour evening at home where you plan food, whipped bream, furry handcuffs or a mutual massage. It has to have a sexy component. It doesn’t mean going out to a movie with your neighbours. Unless you are taking in the movie without underwear.
2. Make sure you touch your partner regularly, look into their eyes and say “I want to be with you”. The Emotionally Focused Therapy techniques are huge in brushing away resentments and re-kindling closeness.
3. Spend some time talking about what turns you on. Check out my list of 50 erotic things to do, or go through the list of what puts you in the mood. Even after a decade you may still be surprised about what might get your partner’s engine running.
4. Do some REGULAR non-genital touch. Plan three minutes each of touch in a way that you (and your partner) enjoy. Where it is rubbing your partner’s feet over coffee in the morning, everyone needs regular touch. I suggest you structure it in at least three times a week.
5. Plan couples get-aways. I’m serious. You should be on intimate holidays at least for a weekend twice a year. I always tell my kids that just like they need time with their friends, I need time with my sweetie. Most people are under holiday’ed and that time with your partner where you can mess up some hotel’s shower or sheets can give you the kind of sex that will keep you from threatening divorce attorneys.
If these still don’t work email me at suem@rogers.com, and I’ll bring out the heavy artillery. Sex really is use it or lose it. Don’t be at risk of losing your sexuality. Now go jump your partner.
And if that doesn’t work and you need your friendly neighbourhood Sex Therapist then reach out. Let’s have the first conversation and see if I can solve the problem.

When the mighty fall. Cultural leaders behaving badly. Why Lance why?

Lance-Armstrong I have a friend who had a ceremony a few months ago to cut her Live Strong bracelet off her wrist. Having once raised $10,000 to ride with Lance Armstrong, Lance was her idol. She cried when she took off her symbolic bracelet of support with Armstrong’s charity and lifestyle movement. She cycled religiously and would travel to hear him speak about his model of helping others. His now proven accusations of performance enhancing drugs has left her feeling disillusioned and betrayed. She couldn’t believe that he would do that to her. For her, his act was personal. Although I am quite certain he didn’t have my friend (or any of his legions of fans) around when he was making decisions related to his steroid use. As a shrink I know that the surprise is not that someone like Lance Armstrong was using performance enhancing drugs throughout his career, the surprise would have been if he had not. His physical performance was beyond Herculean, and the pressure to win would have been enormous. In a great quote by John Wight who said,
“Armstron’g extraordinary success, magnified in his case by a successful battle with cancer, led to him becoming the prisoner of a public which demands that its sporting heroes jump higher, run faster, punch harder, and cycle faster while conforming to a level of moral purity and rectitude rendered impossible in a culture in which success and human virtue are considered two sides of the same coin.”
I remember when Bill Clinton was being raked over the coals for his affair with Monica Lewinsky, and his subsequent false denial in his now infamous “I did not have sex with that woman” speech. Although as a sex therapist I know about powerful men and baseline sexual conquest addiction, I was still disappointed. I’ve think Bill Clinton is the leader of my generation. I thought the Monica Lewinsky fiasco showed he was human. And that he certainly crossed the line into sexual addiction. We can go on about Martha Stewart, Hugh Grant (and the hooker on Hollywood blvd), and a plenary of other politicians but I think you know what I mean.
Last week the New Yorker did a story about Dr. Oz and many of his questionable medical facts. Sigh. Dr. Oz rocks. He’s incredibly bright, attractive and offers up an interesting mix of traditional medicines and alternative options that have now not necessarily been proven accurate. Et tu Mehmet?
His colleague Dr. Eric Rose, a professor of surgery at the Mount Sinai medical school had this to say when asked directly if they would refer a patient to Dr. Oz.
“No, I wouldn’t. In many respects, Mehmet is now an entertainer. And he’s great at it. People learn a lot, and it can be meaningful in their lives. But that is a different job. In medicine, your baseline need has to be for a level of evidence that can lead to your conclusions. I don’t know how else you do it. Sometimes Mehmet will entertain wacky ideas—particularly if they are wacky and have entertainment value.”
rayray And finally today there is the new that my darling Ray Lewis (the amazing defensive lineman for the Baltimore Ravens) may have taken something called “Deer Antler Spray” which contains a banned substance to enhance his healing. I’m rooting for the Baltimore Ravens this weekend primarily because Ray Lewis. You can’t help but wonder if this is his last need to stay in the spotlight. But Ray Lewis! Along with John Cusak, Howie Long, Robert Downey Jr, and Henrik Zetterberg of the Detroit Red Wings, Ray tops my personal bad boy list. You know The List. The one made famous on friends of sex partners you have the “get out of jail free card with if you were ever so propositioned”. And Ray Ray, deer antler spray or not, please proposition me.
So I’m hopeful that Ray Lewis can rise above all the controversy, win the Super Bowl and retire with grace. He’s also welcome to call me anytime for a weekend of debauchery. But the truth is that anyone trying to stay at the top of their game will take extra steps to stay there. Its amazing how we can justify the “means justifies the end” kind of behaviour. It’s also clear that when people tell you that you are the best and rarely say no to you, it’s hard to stay humble.
I think most people will take shortcuts when pressed.I think most people will do incredible things far outside their comfort zone when pressed. As a sex therapist I often see the results of that line sometimes getting blurry. The challenge is to bounce off the rubber room of ethics and larceny in your own head and come out with a clear understanding of temptation. I go through the talk in my head every day about why I need to stay on the straight and narrow when it comes to eating mammoth amounts of chocolate. For Ray, Lance, Bill and the others it may have gotten bigger than them. And these downfalls remind us that we are all human.
 

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Men, internet pornograhy and why it can be so very difficult to give up.

porn1Besides women and low libido, a plenary of premature ejaculation sufferers, a big block of my practice involves problems related to the use of pornography and its effect on marriages. However you feel about porn you can’t argue how pervasive and how readily available it is. Sometimes called the “crack cocaine of the 21st century”, internet porn is dead simple, free and hits those pleasure centres in our brains. It appeals to the male need for newness and for visual stimulation. Pornographic images requires no work on your part to please a partner,and you always can find exactly what strikes your fancy at any given moment.
Here are the problems. Some people have real ethical issues with the material. I’m of mixed minds on this (having personally met many women who happily and cheerfully work in the sex industry and would shout up and down that they are NOT exploited). But some women find their partners viewing this material highly offensive. Many women also feel threatened by their partner fantasizing to images of women with perfect bodies. Some men masturbate so much that they aren’t able to help their partners out in the bedroom. I’ve had patients who need to go into the bathroom at work to masturbate, or miss outings because they were in the “porn haze” of extended sexual sensory overload. If it starts to interfere with real life, then “Houston we have a problem”. I do skype sessions around managing porn with men in all cultures and through out North America.
As a sex therapist I see some challenges. Porn is not real sex with real women and thus the perception of what is authentic sexuality gets distorted. Real women aren’t always perfectly waxed, go into throes of ecstasy when you touch their knee, nor like a 12 inch penis in their rectum. If you expect your partner to behave like a porn star, you can understand why there is a disconnect.
Unlike some therapists, I think there can be a place for adult material in a relationship. I find some of the female erotica directors depicting the funny, sexy, imperfect act of genuine sex endearing and a turn on. I find mindless banging with disrespected women offensive. I also understand that porn needs to be treated with respect. Just like drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sex can impact those pleasure centres in the brain and become addictive.
Having a cart blanche that your partner can’t look at porn EVER makes it secretive and is setting them up to fail. In my opinion it doesn’t work. Finding a middle ground that invokes communication and creative dialogue about what really pushes your buttons is information that partners need to know about each other as to what they find hot. Porn can be a slippery slope of self loathing, secretive behaviour and diminished partner response. It can also be a fun, raunchy, silly way to add visual images to your love making. If you’ve caught your partner looking at porn don’t freak out. Come up with some boundaries, make your feelings heard and maybe get some help mediating this. It’s a complicated issue and far more powerful than most women realize. Oh, and 90% of men look at it. Be informed.
For men who think their pornography habit is taking over their life there are solutions I can help. Let’s set up an initial consultation for 30 minutes to explore solutions. It’s $75 and it will give you the framework you need to take action. Book with me now and let’s get started.

The 10 Things you can do to increase your libido.

The 10 Things you can do and take (that actually work) to increase your libido.

1. Tyro Tryp
Tryo Trypt is a combination supplement that restores the brain levels of neurotransmitters dopamine and seratonin which are responsible for sleep, mood, energy and regulating your desires. It is very effective at improving mood. It’s made up of 375 mg of L’Tyrosine, 5HTP (40 mg), and Vitamin B6. I have those bottles individually on my counter (as opposed to one called Tyro Trypt from Nutrichem because they are cheaper separately than together.) I often take extra 5HTP at 3 pm if I am planning a date night.
2. Date Nights
I think sensuous date nights should be mandatory in every marriage. If there was a High School course on staying sexy in your relationship, date nights would have their own semester. Sexual activity drifts away and it becomes awkward after awhile. Just like exercise or brushing your teeth, scheduled intimate time is essential to keep the love, and lust intact. Write me or check out sexwithsue.com for the list of 50 erotic things to do on your date night.
3. Magic Banana, Intensity or other internal strengtheners.
The magic Banana is a new sex toy developed over 30 years by an Ontario yoga instructor. It uses tension to strengthen the PC and internal vaginal muscles. By increasing blood flow to those squishy parts, it both tightens and relaxes the vaginal muscles and helps add both the interest and ability to engage in sexual follow through. The Intensity is three times the price, but stimulates (think orgasm) as well as uses an electrical “zapper” to tighten the vaginal muscles and make the whole area engorged.
4. Cialis/Viagra, along with a Clitoral Gel
Speaking of engorgement, 10 mg of Cialis/Viagra can help women increase their genital blood flow. It makes you more wiggly although doesn’t have an instant reaction to increase desire. It will give you a feeling of fullness and a tingling sensation. If you couple it with an orgasm cream by Pink, Oh My, Kama Sutra or any product that contains menthol, L’Argininine, and peppermint oil on your clitoris you’ll certainly notice your whole vulva will sit up and say “hello”.
5. Magensium, chromium, and zinc
Magnesium and zinc are your sex minerals. If you are depleted in these core minerals then your interest in sex will definitely wane. Chromium helps balance the other minerals and keep your blood sugar even and elevated. I prescribe 240 mg of magnesium, 200 mg of chromium, and 50 mg of zinc daily. DON’T leave home without them.
6. Balance of Progesterone and Testosterone
There is no way you can feel in the mood if your progesterone is low, your testosterone is non-existent, and the two major hormones are out of balance with each other. The other sex hormones include Estridol (estrogen), DHEA, FSH, and Sex binding globulin hormone. Get a requisition for blood work. Get your blood work don on day 21 of your cycle (day 1 is the first day of your period if you haven’t hit menopause). Your progesterone should be about 60, and your testosterone should be 1.6 or higher. You may have to bug your doctor a bit, but hormonal balancing is critical for improving low libido.
7. Vibrating panty or We vibe
One of the suggestions I make for my patients is to increase lubrication, general arousal and allow their bodies to get ready for sex is to use a “whisper quiet” vibrating panty at least an hour before sex. The popular we-vibe can be inserted in advance, but it isn’t as comfortable as the washable, cordless panties. They come in black, white, and in a fetching leopard skin print. By the time you’ve had them on for awhile you are lubricated, and oh-so wiggly.
8. Omega 3 and lots of it.
I tell all of my patients with low libido that they should be on large doses of Omega 3. The science is very compelling, and it’s why you are hearing more discussion about it in the news and on television ads. Omega 3 is a type of healthy fate. You can’t overdose on it (but you may end up with fish burps) the best source of Omega 3 is cold pressed fish oil, followed by flax seed oil . I use Udo’s oil in my smoothies which has no taste and is easy to get enough of. My low libido patients can be on up to 12,000 mg. Start with 5,000 and see how you feel.
9. Get off the birth control pills, anti depressants and high blood pressure meds.
You doctor may not have told you, but some of the side effects of the meds you have been taking can kill your libido. Anti depressants are one of the worst culprits, especially SSRI’s like Prozac. But so are oral contraceptives (the pill), and most meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol . If you reactions to medications you should not be on the birth control pill and absolutely need to find another method of birth control. Speak to your doctor about alternatives to the easy brands that diminish libido. There are options, and the side effects may not be worth the challenges to your quality of life.
10. Cut your carbs and cut your stress.
Move to a more Paleo diet. If you can stick to the foods we have evolved to eat – meat, seeds, nuts, leafy greens, eggs, and a few berries, most bodies lose weight, feel better, and balance those hormones. Simply by changing your diet you can put lust back into your loins. But in a world of French bread and French fries it can be very hard to follow. I challenge you to try it for 30 days. See how you feel. As I tell my patients, sex is your body’s early warning system. If your libido is off, that’s not normal. Try a system overhaul and see how you feel.

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Maria Shriver trying to deal with her husband fathering a child with one of her long time house hold staff.

Maria Shriver and the challenges of a 25 year old marriage to Arnold, the Govenator

I’ve always thought Maria Shriver was a class act. Smart, poised, with Kennedy breeding and all the California skinniness (okay so she’s not perfect). The way she’s been handling her current marriage crisis makes me respect her all the more. Obviously devastated at a 10 year betrayal and blindsided by her husband of over 2 decades, Maria is facing an intrusive press with grace and integrity. In all fairness, I think Schwarzenegger has handled the current bombshell as well as can be expected. Asking for privacy for his family, taking responsibility and apologizing to his wife and State he represented is definitely the way to go.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not excusing his behaviour. As a sex therapist, I understand that dalliances happen probably better than anyone. I really, truly believe that men are loyal, but they are all dogs and are white knuckling it when it comes to sexual temptation. And someone willing in your household staff with a busy, traveling wife must have been near impossible to resist. As a therapist, I would have understood that and forgave it knowing what I universally understand about men.
What I find difficult to forgive (as I am sure Maria is too) is the 10 years between the action and the disclosure of not simply an affair, but a child. He must have been walking a very tight line, or had a bunch of staffers covering for him brilliantly to pull it off. I’m really feeling for the 10 year old child at the center of this controversial outcome of two sexual people. It also must be Hell to be the other woman in this scenario and I hope she is getting some support. Sex happens far more than people think. It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t have figured a way out of this before 10 years passed, and this child is denied his/her father, and two families are devastated. On the other hand, I don’t throw rocks and love and forgiveness goes a long way. I hope they find a way.
I’ve said it before, monogamy is a failed experiment with an over 50% divorce rate. Maybe if public figures were more like Maria’s uncles and had both the wife and the mistress (and it was socially condoned) and expected by the white house press core), than there may have been other options to blowing up what was on the surface, a loving and successful partnership.

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Reviews of The Best Sex Toys – Find out about the best sex toys on the market

 
Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.
With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.
This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).
I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….
I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.
The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.
So here they are….

1. Great finger vibe FK 9000
This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease. These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.
2. The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit
Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot ‘s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving pearls inside. They work inside and out. The Twisting and vibration of these vibrators can be changed by the controls on the base. The branch stimulates the clitoris and you end up singing Ava Maria. Takes 4 AA batteries, that should be removed between usage to keep it at top power.
3. Diving Double Dolphin
One of the togetherness toys for heterosexual couples, that is the great equalizer when it comes to climaxing together. With the possible exception of the Rabbit, was the thing we were least likely to keep on our shelves at The Love and Romance Stores. It has a whole in the middle that slides down to the base of the penis a happy little nose that says a big Hi to the clitoris when lined up, and a flippy tail that offers up both participants perineum ( or the “taint”) stimulation. With over 70% of women incapable of climaxing during intercourse as the clit sits up high forgotten and neglected, this little number makes it all the humping and pumping worthwhile.
4. The Egg and Dual Bullets Combo
This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way! Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.
5. Waterproof Jelly G – Spot
Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.
6. Senso – (Pretend Blue Squishy Vagina)
This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.
7. Fleshlight 2
Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool. If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.
8. Moist Silicone Lubricant 8 oz.
The slipperiest of lubricants. As any silicone based lubricant, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys. Good for any other kinds of tubes of in case of any other friction based emergency. Silicone lubricants can however be safely used with condoms or any other material toys. They do not dry out like water based lubes, but they are a bit harder to clean off. These can stay slick up to eight hours in a hot tub, and I once dropped a bottle of this on a pine floor and skated on the spot for weeks.
9. Pro touch Plug and Little Zinger combo
Okay, there’s a lot more to anal sex than in, out, repeat if necessary. A well made, gentle plug (with a good base that won’t get sucked up into your neither regions), these two plugs helps you turn the curve of your inner anal regions into a relaxed and erotic space. This combo, is an ingenious silicone plug with removable vibrator (for dreamy prostate stimulation), and a little red easy to start and hold and pull out at just the right moment. Grab some anal ease, and you’re in business.
10. Sweetheart Vibrator with Power panties
Endorsed by Angelina Jolie (Newswire, Nov. 23, 2005). What more do I need to say? She apparently walks around with her panties vibrating keeping her at a low level of arousal. I guess she has to do something with Brad away. The small two inch cushioned soft jelly (read –easy to clean), heart holds a removable variable speed Zippy Vibe that delivers strong clitoral stimulation. These fit into a little pair of panties(one size), or you can these comfortable, innovative, adjustable leg straps that slide over the thighs and hold the Sweet Heart snugly over the clitoris if you are more than a Barbie doll size, or want to go without. These products give a whole new way to make boring activities such as housework housework
11 . Oh My Cheesecake and Coffee Lubes
Lube is your friend. No matter what your age or situation, lube keeps everyone slippery, comfortable, and makes good sex better. Made with hemp, grown in the wilds of British Columbia ( I have it on good authority that they grow lots of hemp out there), this stuff actually heals delicate tissues. I believe that if you are going to use a lube (and all women need a water based product so they don’t get bunged up), you might as well use a flavoured lube in case it gets in your mouth and you are stuck with that yucky lube taste.

With flavours like Pina Colada, Strawberry and Blueberry Cheesecake, and my personal favourite, low-fat decaf cappachino this is the best lube in the world…

12. Hitachi Magic Wand
The most popular electric vibrator on the market is the Hitachi Magic Wand. It resembles my favourite, an old Phillips Beauty Set “massager” that still ranks right up there. Those plug in toys are fantastic, powerful and almost indestructible except in case of power outages. At least you don’t have to worry about running out of batteries. Electric vibrators deliver the strongest, most unrelenting vibrations available. The stimulation produced is so strong that many women like to diffuse the vibration through a pillow or towel. But for those of you out there who desire strong direct clitoral stimulation, these will not disappoint. Use this vibe on your clitoris, vagina, anus or where ever it feels good. This is the BMW of sex toys. Functional, and such a workhorse. Men who know power tools love the magic Wand.
Considered the essential toy for anybody looking for serious power, the Hitachi Magic Wand has been the yard stick for years by which all other toys are measured. A foot long handle that allows you to do acrobatics and even use it on sore muscles other than the ones between your legs, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a plug in toy so you don’t have to worry about your batteries dying during a critical moment. Made with sturdy Japanese motors it comes complete with a heavy duty rounded head, The Magic Wand will bring out orgasm after orgasm, even if you’ve had difficulty in the past. This is a long-life toy investment, and well worth every penny.
13. Allura
The big breakthrough for women’s orgasms that happened in the last few years, this is the first, and I think the best, of the tingling orgasm creams. I call it the great equalizer, meaning if you have trouble reaching orgasm and have to practically sacrifice a chicken to get there, these creams open up the blood flow and can help a hard-to-get-there-girl over the top. For those of us who orgasm with little encouragement (practically just by thinking about Johnny Depp), it gives you a pleasant stimulation, but doesn’t put you over the top. What makes Viagra work is nitric oxide, a by-product of L-arginine. It’s also one of the main ingredients in Allura, and is safe and effective, and along with menthol (the other big ingredient), Allura definitely increases the blood rushing to your vulva. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the stuff.
15. Tongue
Considered by Playboy to be one of the most orgasmic and successful erotic toy ever made. Redbook magazine calls it the #1 sex toy in the world and it’s designed by and made by a woman after exhaustive research who understood what women really wanted from a bedroom toy. The Tongue, is a life-like, soft and flexible toy of amazing strength, that looks like a large tongue. Different than other toys in that it doesn’t vibrate, it actually moves like a tongue, undulating back and forth to give you a unbelievable sensation that is unique only to The Tongue. It goes from slow to Ohhhhhh in one flick. The Tongue can be use either with batteries, or with any regular adapter for never fail use. The five speeds can build to a ferocious pace with a never tiring, never changing massage and rhythm. For any woman with a preference for straight up oral stimulation, The Tongue is magic with a little lube, and is great for insuring strong, consistent orgasms.
  • The Night Cage – This is the perfect product for men on your list who like to jumped at any and every opportunity, and for the partners who like to be in control. It’s a full service cock ring that you can wear under your clothes, while you sleep or to give your partner the rock hard penetration that they are looking for. The magnets increase circulation, draws the blood in and holds it there, and the external nubs hits all the right nerve endings. Gives you an extra half inch of fullness that feels really wonderful to your partner, but doesn’t diminish your own sensations as so many rings and penile splints do. Perfect for wild weekends or for men who are looking for a little extra firmness.
  • Strawberries and Cream – This is the togetherness toy for the majority of couples who’s female partners need clitoral stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. A soft jelly ring gets inserted on the down the penile shaft to the base, and then the attached vibrating knob sitting above the penis will press and vibrate against the clitoris during intercourse. It’s quiet so it doesn’t distract, and will be everything you need in order to climax together or regularly during intercourse which is the wish for most couples. But if you a working solo, Strawberries and Cream comes with a five inch multi speed vibrator that can fit where the penis would, and fully adjustable and removable straps can leave you hands free to act out the type of stimulation that you uniquely want. I’ve heard reports that either way is great, but Strawberries and Cream is the secret weapon that many couples use to bring them together in the bedroom.
  • Clit Seducer – A unique product that has never been replicated, but uses you mouth suction to deliver stimulation without needing to be double jointed. A soft cup that you can place over a desired area such as your clitoris, nipple or head of the penis and along with a great variable speed vibrator, you get a PVC tube that you can put in your mouth ( or anybody willing to play along) and you give the added warmth and suction you need to go completely over the top. Guaranteed to enlarge your nipples and clitoris with use, this is an all purpose toy and one you should try if you ever feel that you’ve tried all there is in the area of adult toys. A must-have toy for the discriminating consumer.
  • Tickling Bra – It has been proven that some women go absolutely wild for nipple stimulation. If you are one of the many who can’t get enough attention to your breasts, than the Tickling Bra is for you. Think of it as little vibrators pressed into flat pads that can be concealed in you bra, and the adjustable, removable straps, make for comfortable, invisible support. Quiet, and with a sucking motion this toy makes padded bras seem like your best friend. For any woman who turns to Jell-O with nipple play, there is no other product like the Tickling Bra that can put you in charge of the kind, amount and speed of stimulation anytime and anywhere.
  • Jurassic Jewel– This toy acts in much the same way as a strand of Asian anal beads by using incremental balls along a shaft to hit all the anal nerve endings only these jewels are warmer, gentler, easier to insert, simple to clean and come with vibration just where you need it. According to Masters and Johnson “a large number of heterosexual couples incorporate some variety of anal stimulation into their sexual play…as it can be highly arousing and lead to male and female orgasms.” This toy works for both partners (it is especially powerful against the male prostate gland), and because the jelly is so easy to sterilize, and the small diameter tip is easy for beginner or more experienced use, which is why it’s so popular. If that’s not enough, the vibrating bullet can be inserted or removed, which is great if both partners want to be on the receiving end simultaneously or if you want to offer clitoral or penile shaft stimulation while working in the anal region and send your partner over the top.
  • Virginia Slims – A long, slim hollow vibrating dong that comes complete with the ever popular and versatile bullet that can be inserted anywhere along the shaft for vibration where you want it. This eight inches is a woman’s favourite, great for small openings (both anal and vaginal) and can change from a vibrator to a straight dong just by moving the bullet. Virginia Slims is soft, slippery and slender. No more wishing the vibration strength was somewhere else, if you need a certain type of stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
  • Wave Runner – This super stimulating curvy vibrator that fits the vaginal contours like a glove, is a huge seven and a half inches of soft, slippery firmness. The great thing about it is that it grows wider as it goes deeper. Finger holds in the base make it easy to grasp and the powerful vibrator with variable speed control that can go from soft to Oh-My-God with a slight flick, this toy is the one for anybody that likes it harder, faster, deeper, and fuller with a fit that you have never experienced with a straight shaft.
  • Stubby’s – Vibrating 4 and ½ playtoy looks so cute, but they are truly effective. When you need fullness and not depth, these toys leave you feeling full but put no pressure on you cervix. Complete with testicles, these toys are great as an anal teaser but are easy to hold and firm enough to put constant stimulation on the clitoris and the vaginal opening where you really need it. These toys are lifelike, and for those who prefer wide to ling, this is the toy for you.

Treatment for Premature Ejaculation – How to Last Longer in Bed


She didn’t think I could last long in bed….But her surprise turned to moans of pleasure when I kept going and going.
Are you embarrassed by being too quick to come to bed? Do you want to last longer in bed?
Do you hesitate about sleeping with a new partner, or avoid sex altogether because you can’t stop yourself from climaxing too quickly due to premature ejaculation?
As a registered sex therapist with 20 years of experience, the most common problem I see with men is an inability to climax when you want. Too fast (or taking too long with retarded ejaculation) are huge issues for 25% of the population. I see men every day who are reluctant to get involved in a relationship because they come too quickly.
Is your partner frustrated and upset that you are a one-minute guy, and constantly leave her hanging due to premature ejaculation?
Do you hear that other guys can keep going and going, and you just can’t figure out how to fix it?
If you have ever worried that you couldn’t last in bed, then find out how thousands of guys have improved their sexual stamina- quickly, and with guaranteed effectiveness.
Learn what other men know about premature ejaculation from North America’s best-known sex therapist, syndicated talk show host, and bedroom coach “Sex with Sue”. Put yourself back in the lineup and understand the tips and techniques that thousands of men interviewed by Sue in her practice, television, and radio shows shared about lasting longer and solving their premature ejaculation problem. This is information imparted to you with Sue’s humor, clarity, and in her own voice. Sex with Sue is an internationally renowned sex therapist, speaker, best-selling author, industry expert, and television and radio talk show host, who specializes in solving premature ejaculation problems quickly. Her books on orgasms, (especially giving and holding back orgasms) are the best in the business.
You will to learn to last as long as you want until she’s screaming your name in pleasure.
The tricks to conquering premature ejaculation are outlined by Sex with Sue personally, and you can have them RIGHT NOW, in absolute confidence. As fast as your computer can download it, and cheaper than tuning up your car, you can solve this issue and get back in the saddle. And listen to it over and over again if you need a reminder. And unlike your car, you can stay “fixed”.
You know that women talk to each other about sex every time they get together. You don’t want them sharing that you can’t deliver in the sack. Or worse have your girl in particular sit quietly in embarrassment saying nothing, and have other women look at her with pity.
Premature ejaculation training like this would typically need four sessions in a sex therapist’s office with a cost of over $600, along with time off work, parking, and the embarrassment of being seen going into a sex therapy office. Sue herself would charge close to $2000 to solve this problem in her clinical practice personally.
But you get this same important information as an instant download, you can listen and learn at your convenience, and pay only $49.99. And you get it NOW to listen to at your leisure, for less than the cost of dinner.
You can see an immediate improvement, and have more confidence before the next time you have sex. You also get a PDF of easy-to-understand instructions with clear pictures from Sue’s advance copy of her yet-to-be-published book on solving Premature Ejaculation. The book itself, if you bought it at the bookstore on Amazon, would be over $35. You get advanced chapters of her book that her editors don’t even have, her personal voice coaching, and access to her private email for follow-up.
And now for a limited time only you will also receive FREE:
The top 10 updated squirting tips are guaranteed to make her gush with an explosive G spot orgasm. From Sex with Sue’s best-selling book Quivering Jello: How to have Mind-Blowing, Toe Curling Orgasms. Finally, have a sexual performance that you can be proud of.
Simply click now through PayPal for $49.99, and all of these specialized reports and easy-to-understand audio files will be sent to you instantly. Over $500 in sex therapy by North America’s leading sex therapist for the cost of a movie date.
Warning: The women in your bed will need smelling salts when you’re finished loving them. Women will write your name with exclamation points on bathroom walls, pass your number out to their girlfriends, walk around with a permanent smile on their faces, and be so well-loved that they have trouble sitting straight.
Guarantee: This is Sue. I will personally guarantee my program. I will be available for a consultation if you aren’t able to add a few minutes to your performance. My Premature Ejaculation program has been proven to work with her patients as they develop muscle memory. As good as she is this isn’t going to be fixed without some effort on your part. You need to recondition your penis, train some muscle memory, and condition your head and orgasmic triggers. If there was an instant fix you would have already heard about it. This is a no-BS sex therapy (not some mystical herb made of questionable ingredients) in a quick download, everything you need to fix it in a package that is guaranteed to be effective. If you were going to the gym to sign up with a trainer (at thousands of dollars) you would give yourself six weeks of steady effort to see a noticeable result. Muscle is muscle, and it takes time to re-train whether the muscle in your arm or underneath your penis. Sue guarantees that if you aren’t completely satisfied that your performance hasn’t significantly improved after six weeks with this coaching you can have your money back. Sue is a leading sex therapist who values her credibility, and she delivers new, cutting-edge information in a special audio along with lots of extras so that you become better in bed. It makes the world a better place and has women falling at your feet.
I promise together let’s get you fixed up THIS WEEK.
Sue
Get it NOW for $29.99. If you need additional counseling I’ll take the cost off your first session. And freebies!




Testimonials and Media stories. Saying nice things. awww thanks

It’s hard (and scary) to pick a therapist. Although always have cookies, and I sip this aromatic ginger tea that makes my office smell like gingerbread it can me uncomfortable to disclose personal information to someone you don’t know. I get it. We go through a box a kleenex a week in the office. I’m innately kind, and my objective is for you to feel safe and comfortable. I’m on a dead end street facing the river in a renovated house. I take confidentiality and discretion very seriously. Even over the phone (which can be easier and leave you feeling safer) you want to know with whom you are dealing with.
My challenges is that my patients rarely want to gve out their details, but I’ve asked a few to say something nice for my website. That, coupled with 20 years of credibility and lots of media mentions might help put your mind at ease. Here are some very recent mentions:
CTV Ottawa, Feb. 14, news at noon with Michale O’brien
Setting the mood
Sue McGarvie, a romance and sex expert, says on Valentine?s Day, the hottest thing … There’s a reason, says Ottawa’s resident sex therapist Sue McGarvie. …
www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Setting+mood+home/…/story.html
Sue McGarvie – Sex with SueSue McGarvie – Sex with Sue. Sue has been described by The Ottawa Citizen as a “ creative thinker, and outstanding achiever”. She is also one of Canada ‘s …
www.linkingboomers.com/blog/?page_id=36
Connect the Dots Ottawa » Speakers … Sue McGarvie is a Clinical Sex and Relationship Therapist with a background in reproductive medicine and psychology. …
connectthedotsottawa.com/speakers/
Sex With Sue is back | Ottawa and Region | News | Ottawa … Radio host Sue McGarvie is back on the air with Love and Lipstick, which airs Sunday nights from 8 p.m. to midnight on EZ Rock 99.7. …
www.ottawasun.com/news/ottawa/2010/07/12/14687946.html – Cached
Teasing the senses
Ottawa Citizen
Of course all of this is just smoke and mirrors without true passion, which is where clinical sex therapist Sue McGarvie’s area of expertise comes into play …
Sex over 40: Expert advice – Sex over 40: Expert advice – More … … Ottawa’s Sue McGarvie is a sex therapist and the author of Quivering Jello: How to Have Mind-Blowing, Toe-Curling Orgasms! and also appears …
www.more.ca/body-and-mind/health/sex-over…/28500
I can be your Therapist. Let’s try an initial $75 consultation and see if there is a fit. I know I can help.

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Why phone counseling is instant and effective

As a therapist with two passports, and a locations in other countries, I tell people I have a global practice. I have patients in 13 different countries and find phone counseling (and now web cam/skype of MSN counseling) so effective I don’t think anyone needs to trudge into an office to “move the chains” in their lives. Why change your therapist if you have to move cities? Why worry about discretion with a sex counseling appointment when it is just as simple and more importantly as effective by phone.
With paypal, credit cards are taken 100% safely and easily. You can send a payment to suem@rogers.com and get started today. I take most of the paties, but Blaik (my fellow therapist with a degree in bio sciences) is around for male clients, or to balance out the couples discussions. We can refer to any number of “out-of-the-park” practitioners if there is something we don’t specialize in.
However, if you aren’t getting enough sex, have a specific issue with coming too quickly (or not at all), or have a desire challenge then we are the therapists for you.
We are often asked about the viability of phone counseling. Most trained therapists read body language for a living and we are no exceptions. The web cam is amazing for picking up nuances, but as a radio host I interpret voices far better than average. And if I miss something I ask tons of questions.
Sometimes it is better to have a cup of tea and one of my amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (okay, so I may be braggin a touch about my cookies) in person. But if you can’t come and sit on my couch, the flexibilty, discretion and warmth of phone and skype appointments get the job done almost as well.
Contact me at suem@rogers.com. I can fit you in this week and get the stress out of your head Let’s take action together. Now.
Sue

Sue McGarvie – Bio. The formal one that doesn't include how I drive singing off key at the top of my lungs.

Sue McGarvie
Sue has been described by The Ottawa Citizen as a “creative thinker, and outstanding achiever”. She’s also been hailed as “North America’s funniest shrink”.
She is also one of Canada ‘s best known sex and therapists, and has specialized in troubleshooting quickly, specific sex and relationship issues since the early 90’s. Sue’s professional training is in psychology and reproductive medicine, and she has been a registered Sex Therapist since 1992.
She has degrees from Carleton University in Psychology and Education, Laurentian University in Sexuality and Family Life, The Banff Center in New Media, and Ryerson University in Broadcast Technology. Her unique expertise on Sex in Mainstream Media is sought after Internationally. She is the founder of The Ottawa Sex Therapy Clinic and has been a member of The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada , The Canadian Urology Association , and The Federation of Medical Women. She is also the author of three books on sexuality and as a sex expert, she has been an expert witness, insurance industry consultant, pharmaceutical and government lobbyist and a professional speaker (CAPS member). She was nominated for the Roman’s Canadian Women Entrepreneur for 2002, and is a Top 40 under 40 finalist.
Beginning in 1993, Sue hosted a #1-rated radio call-in show for five years called Sunday Night Sex With Sue with Standard Broadcasting on The Bear CKQB in Ottawa . She has since gone on to produce a 90 second syndicated radio series called Sexual Solutions which runs on stations internationally across Canada and into the US . She hosted and executive produced a television series called Unzipped that aired across Canada on Global Television in 2004. She hosted The Love and Romance Show on CFRB ( Toronto ), and CJAD ( Montreal ) simultaneously for five years to 2007. Currently you find her on air with Astral Media with her targeted radio series “Love and Lipstick” on EZ Rock (www.ezrock.com).
In 1999 Sue founded Passion Media , a multimedia company marketing mainstream, tasteful sexuality and relationships throughout North America . Sue helped take the company public in July of 2002. Sue wrote the applications and lobbied the CRTC for two national digital television licenses which were granted in December 2000 for Passion Television and The Singles Network.
Sue McGarvie has been a named a Woman of Distinction (1997), the I. H. Asper Broadcast Entrepreneur of the Year (1998), Business and Professional Women’s Association Woman of the Year (1994). She also won an unprecedented award as Volunteer of the Year for 2002 for both Wired Women of Canada and Canadian Women in Communications for her work as National Mentorship Chair and Director. She as been awarded a Provinicial Award for her role with women in Ontario in 2010 and runs a Mentoring program with women in need. Sue is consults internationally on libido and bio-identical hormones, ethics in inter-personal business relationships, and ways to help baby boomers stay young, and connected.
Sue is the Past Chair of The Canadian Women in Communication, a member of The International Alliance for Women, and International Women’s Forum, and has established an International Mentorship Database. She is the Past President of UNIFEM Canada, The United Nation’s Women’s Fund in Canada , and was the visionary behind the international Mother’s Day fundraising campaign. Her board experience is extensive, and she was a founding director of the Shirley E. Greenberg Women’s Health Center at The Ottawa Hospital.
Sue has just finished her latest book called The Libido Diet after losing half her body weight, and re-discovering her toes. Her expertise on female libido, is much sought after, and she writes for a variety of publications on sexual trends. Her new books, called The Formula, about the guaranteed system for finding the partner you want, and The Ethical Hedonist, about Keeping it hot with integrity. With bases in Canada and the United States as well as dual Canadian and British passports, Sue connects with clients and patients around the globe.
She is a recovering chocoholic, a soccer Mom, and a compulsive course taker. She stays grounded with the help of a supportive partner, a sense of humor, and a penchant for talking to herself.
Sue “Sex with Sue” McGarvie
International Sex Expert and Therapist
Syndicated radio and television host
Canada
www.sexwithsue.com
suem@rogers.com
The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm as described on the Sexapalooza stage.
Check the Sex with Sue Blog!
Sue reviews the top sexy vacation hotspots!
Sex toys – Reviews of the Top 15 best sex toys and devices.
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Sue's video page. Best romantic travel spots, newest information on libido, premature ejaculation, penis size,onlinedating success, hormone balancing, and G SPOT ORGASMS!

Sue is currently working with her partner, Blaik Spratt on a series called The Ethical Hedonist, about the best places and the most unique ways to connect as a couple.
The Ethical Hedonist is about finding ways to re-kindle your relationship by increasing your adrenaline, together. More to come on Adventure Travel from some of the most romantic locations on the planet. It’s abot pleasure seaking with integrity. Best food, best value in abject luxury, best places to frolic naked and how to make friends in hot tubs.
Online Video Sample Part 1
Online Video Sample Part 2
Online Video Sample Part 3
Sue McGarvie Is Unzipped!
Unzipped aired on Global, in 2006.
Unzipped is a fun, engaging and uproariously entertaining series on the world’s oldest obsession—SEX! Click here for more info>>
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Sue’s product of the month – best seller!
The Libido Diet
Sue’s best selling book called Lean and Lusty- The Libido Diet is guaranteed to improve female libido! more info
The G Spot orgasm and other adventures in mind blowing orgasms.
He guaranteed, life-changing, step-by-step book of instructions on getting to the
elusive G. more info
Premature Ejaculation.
The best, most practical book for stopping those brief encounters, and lasting way, way, way, longer than the few minutes you are now. more info
Squirting and Female Ejaculation
Give me 40 minutes, and we’ll train you to have her reaching an incredible G spot orgasm…Let me Prove it. more info
Improving penis size
Sex with Sue, offers up the latest credible information on ACTUALLY improving penis size, and becoming the kind of lover women are looking for. more info