The P Spot

One of the things my friend Kerrie said she would wish for if she ever happened to trip over a lamp and be granted three wishes, would be to have some genie turn her an fantastic lover.  When I did an informal survey at a dinner party I was attending, most people concurred and voiced their not-so-secret desire to be known as “great in bed”.  Secret tips on how to “drive your man wild in bed” are still the most common titles on popular selling women’s magazines. Everyone it seems, wants to know the one secret that will give you the edge, and turn anyone you’re sleeping with into a quivering mass of jell-o.  Who doesn’t want to find out about those magical places on their partners body that when gently touched, makes then go weak in the knees.   Like most women I start purring when my ear is nibbled but I digress here.  We all want to push the button and turn on our lovers.   But of all the places and erogenous zones on the human body, none are more interesting nor elusive than the mysterious P Spot.

The P Spot is the male equivalent of the female G-spot.  Located internally as part of the prostate gland in the lower rectum, the P Spot is sometimes tricky to access, but from every account I’ve ever heard of men who’ve reached  P Spot orgasms, the resulting pleasure is well worth the effort.    So what is the P Spot, how is it associated with the prostate,  and where do the orgasms come in ?  Here’s the skinny so you can be in the know when you compare your sexual prowess with that of your neighbors.

The prostate gland is the size of a chestnut, and it surrounds the urethra and vas defrens  like a donut,  and is located close to the bottom muscle of the bladder.  It’s made up of muscle, nerves, blood vessels and fat mixed in with a large amount of fluid secreting glandular cells.  It is these cells that make up most of the fluid that is semen.  That “loving spoonful” that men produce upon ejaculation.  This is an area rich with blood and nerves and is tender to the touch (as anyone who has experienced the gloved, rectal exam can attest). These nerve ending cluster in the same place as the G-spot in women, and with these nerves all resonating in and around the genitals, it is understandable why, with a little experience and the right touch, stimulation in this area feels great.  It is also proven that men with prostate stimulation do ejaculate.  In fact, getting a sperm sample from men with spinal cord injuries and parapeligia requires inserting a small thumbnail size vibrator into the rectum and turning it on.  The vibration causes ejaculation every time, showing that orgasms can result from a different set of stimuli from the penis.

So how do you translate this information into a mind blowing orgasms for your sweetie? First you’ve got to develop an understanding of the anatomy.  The prostate lie directly over the perinium, the space between the anus and the back of the testicles.  If you or your partner are squeemish about your playing proctologist and exploring the neither regions of his lower rectum, then the good news is that you can stimulate this spot by applying pressure to this area outside of the body.  Just find that middle point and along that inch and a half space behind his testicles and press firmly with your thumb.  It would help the process considerably, if you happen to play with his penis before, during and after you go for the serious accupressure  on his perinium.  This isn’t true P- Spot stimulation, but it creates enough prostate action to enhance the experience.

 I have a few female patients who visit me because of their struggle to reach orgasm. Man, you’ve gotta feel for them. I don’t climax climbing stairs, but let’s just say that I’ve had close encounters with  dryers vibrating quickly, and western riding saddles among many, many other things. A daily occurance in my life, and considering I wrote a bestselling book on orgasms (in Canada if you sell 8,000 copies that puts you in the “best selling league” – so don’t be overly impressed), I should be able to articulate a decent description of the big O.  You would think. I however get a bit flummoxed when I was trying to explain to a man recently what vaginal G spot sensations actually feel like to me. A regular occurance that I am intimately familiar with, and even without the soul of a poet, I should be able to spit it out.  The trouble is my brain turns to goo during the process, and it’s foggy in remembering the joy. Hormonal soup, intense sensation, combined with a decent ab workout. In the afterglow, small words are a better choice, so writing it down when it’s happening and the experience is fresh in my head is difficult. My book was called “Quivering Jello” for a reason. I’m one of the lucky ones that consistently reach orgasms vaginally. I get there clitorally too, but they feel different.  Very different,  -at least to me. I don’t know which way I would go if I ever had to choose between them. I’m hopeful they will take me right into old age.
The clitoral explosions, take way more work from a partner, and come easily when I’m by myself. I can come clitorally when I’m on top, or being stimulated orally. Other than that or a good external vibe, they have never happened. They are the morning vibrator, or get-down-there-boy kind of climaxes. Clitoral orgasms feel to me more topical, sharp, and external. A feeling that I would described as kind of sunshine, candy and light.
The very different feeling G-spot vaginal ones feel deeper, wetter, more about sultry and smoke – and when they build they are almost out-of-body explosions.  I can climax vaginally with a partner with strong fingers, or the combination of stamina, pounding intercourse, and a great fit. Even with those damn gspot vibrators I can’t get enough leverage to get me off vaginally when I’m alone. But if you pay attention and find the spot, then I really do start speaking in tongues. The feeling of having someone inside you can range from intrusive to the most intimate thing ever imaginable. It’s the fit (not the size) that matters. When intercourse (or a guy with magic hands) is good, and I trust him, I start feeling like everything is focused on a building internal pressure somewhere behind my bellybutton, and then is released in a swell of fluid.  It feels like a wave inside. Tilt the hips up, and give me torque, and lots of it. It may not work for everyone, but I seem to find my happy place if you can do that.  It becomes the inside  dance,  that if it goes on long enough has me seeing colours, and feeling the preverbial earth move. When a serious tantric practitioner once described the build-up charge of sexual tension between two people that was his definition of tantra, it sounded like what I feel when I get the right pieces touching my G spot. Hallululah. A sensation all the way to my sternum, or anyplace from my hips up, the tightening, and “pop” of release. You know, that intense pleasure.  And the kick is better than any drug I’ve ever tried. Even, gasp, better than chocolate. If you want to do a one time session ($125) we can go through why you aren’t coming and how to get there. Promise.
So bring ’em on Sailor.