So what do you know about your thyroid? It’s that butterfly shaped gland at the base of your throat that acts like a thermostat to your metabolism and heat regulator. It turns out that Thyroid disease affects 1 in 5 women, and 1 in 10 men, yet over half of the people with thyroid disease is undiagnosed. I’m always saying that sex is your early warning system. Libido is the first thing that goes when your health is compromised.
I’ve been blogging about hormones, lists of fun and sexy things to do and all the latest aphrodisiacs that make you want to get sweaty in bed.
It turns out that often the sexual sluggishness is related to thyroid. I’ve been guilty of missing it as well. The symptoms of thyroid imbalance can often be mistaken for something else. So if you are feeling sluggish, you might want to consider a thyroid test. The problem is that most physicians only test for TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone), and not the levels of T3, T4, and RT3 which blocks the uptake of thyroid response. I’m not trying to geek out describing lab work but I do think it’s important to ask the right questions. Everyone should be the absolute expert in their own bodies.
So here are some of the symptoms of a thyroid imbalance:
Course hair, dry skin, cold all the time, constipation, fatigue, low sex drive, heavy menstrual bleeding, PMS, infertility, difficulty losing weight, and thick skin and fingernails.
Not suggesting that you shouldn’t see your doctor, but there are some natural thyroid products that contain T3 and T4. Your doctor can prescribe a more potent hormone. I just have seen (many more cases lately than ever before) thyroid imbalances as the root cause of low libido. And there can be an immediate improvement. Get yours tested. Ask what your number was. If its 3.8 or less, than you should be asking your doctor about possible treatments that work for you. It’s not okay to not have a sex drive. A Thyroid imbalance may be one of the answers. I have a list of blood work (both male and female) I can send you. Let’s talk about why your sex drive may be non-existant. I do both in person and skype/facetime appointments. In one or two sessions we can make real headway. Book today.
I postulate at nauseum about things you should and shouldn’t do to keep your libido intact and healthy. I’m a sex therapist, it’s what I do. And low libido is the scourge of these frantic, 21st Century lives. However it is because we are so busy, stressed and running hard that we don’t have a sex drive in the first place. A hundred years ago we went to bed when the sun went down and ate, whole, pesticide-free foods. We made love often, knew our roles and weren’t exposed to light while we slept. Our bodies were in rhythm with our environment.
So amidst watching too much late night Grey’s Anatomy, updating my blog, connecting with my kids, partner, and extended family, groceries, laundry, homework and oh yeah work, I need shortcuts when it comes to keeping my libido healthy. I look for shortcuts in working out, in the housework I have to complete,
I don’t want to look for shortcuts to having sex.
With this in mind I make sure I have some of the top 5 sexy foods as part of my diet.
1. Lemon/Ginger. – I serve this as a tea to all the patients in my office and drink it (and run to the loo) all day long. Ginger warms up the body and increases the heart rate, much in the same way that chilli does. It mimics how the body feels during sex, and makes you start thinking about it. Lemon balances the PH in your system and keeps your squishy parts at optimum health.
2. Artichokes. This natural aphrodisiacs are rich in such substance as inulin, which in conjunction with vitamins A, B and C can substantially improve metabolism. This can stimulate and tone the body, as well as increase the libido.
3. Spring foods like asparagus and rhubarb. Asparagus. This is one of the most effective spring aphrodisiacs which is rich in phosphorus, potassium, calcium and vitamin A. At that, asparagus can be used by both men and women. Rhubarb is known in diminishing hot flashes, and is extraordinarily high in calcium.
4. Unpasteurized honey. Honey is a super food. It also appeals to my sweet tooth and I can drizzle it all over my sweetie during sticky sex. It’s one of the 5 things that the new Blue Zone book which discusses what people do to live the longest use to increase longevity. It has proved libido enhancers.
5. Basil. The fragrance, the blood stirring properties and the healing herbal elements makes it a great sexy food. I plant a herb garden and grow fresh basil every spring. I use it fresh in recipes throughout the year. Try basil ice cream (recipe to follow), it is incredible.
You don’t need mail-order powdered rhino horn — there are much easier ways to get aphrodisiacs for Valentine’s Day. But do they work? Find out what works and what doesn’t as well as tips and ideas for a grocery list of romantic foods that will put you in the mood. Join our panel: Martha Hopkins is the author of The New InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook that features couple-tested recipes, Wendy Walsh is a clinical psychologist and former co-host of The Doctors who is currently CNN’s human behaviour expert and the author of several books, including The 30-Day Love Detox, and Sue McGarvie, a registered sex therapist, radio host and author of four books on sexuality and relationships. McGarvie’s research on libido and bio-identical hormones for sexual desire has brought her international attention.
Check out the full discussion at:
http://www.canada.com/life/food/Live+Chat+Aphrodisiacs/7859982/story.html
The current research blames the growth hormones in the meat and milk.
That and more exposure to adult men in families that are NOT biological fathers are some of the theories that many explain girls as young as 8 regularly getting their periods. From an evolutionary point of view the lowering of the reproductive age of girls is unprecedented in the history of mankind. At a time when kids are learning how to give change for a dollar, they are dealing with sexual feelings as their bodies are changing. Far earlier than any generation before them. Eek!
It came to the forefront this week with the news that a 9-year-old Mexican girl, under the reported name of Dafne, gave birth to a baby girl in Jalisco, Mexico.
Dafne, who is one of 11 children, lives in Ixtlahuacan de los Membrillos, a poverty-stricken neighborhood 25 miles south of Guadalajara. “Her parents work all day and were not watching after her,” says Corona, “and therefore didn’t realize what was about to happen.”
How terrifying is that. I know two girls that have had their periods by age 10.
What does this mean when our bodies are changing this early? I am doing some Government mandated counseling for women in their 40’s who are about to undergo fertility treatments. In Ontario if you use human tissue (embryo, sperm donation etc) you have to undergo mandatory counseling. Lots of time the process doesn’t work and it women are taken aback that they can’t control their fertility. With contraception you can control not getting pregnant. Thus you should be able to control your fertility. It doesn’t work that way. Despite menopause changing (some people think it’s the estrogens and PCB’s leeching out from all of those plastic containers) We don’t control our bodies when it comes to reproduction. If you are 50 and look 35, it doesn’t matter. Your eggs are OLD, and you are infertile without loads of help. And even then.
With these changing fertility age guideline it may be that we have to deal with our ability to reproduce before our daughters (or us eek!) are ready.
Don’t think you can eat the fatty Super Bowl food because you had afternoon delight today. A new study from the University of Alabama at Birmingham says the average sex act burns only about 21 calories.
The study, published Wednesday in the New England Journal of Medicine, contradicts many long-standing claims that sexual activity is a vigorous, fat-burning workout. Funded in part by the National Institutes of Health, the study results found that “false and scientifically unsupported beliefs about obesity are pervasive in both scientific literature and the popular press.”
Most online claims about the calorie burning potential of sexual activity are based on one-hour increments, whereas this study worked off an average time span of six minutes per sexual encounter. So that means if you struggle from Premature Ejaculation it may be even less. 🙁 And if it takes women a good 10 to 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to climax then you can understand why some women are frustrated. Six minutes of glory. You could have two boff during a quarter of play in today’s game and still have time left over.
The truth is that most intercourse lasts on average between 6 to 7 minutes. Foreplay should be another 10 to 12 on top of that. 21 calories for the partner doing the work. That’s the same as a casual walk.
Past claims had sex burning 100 to 300 calories
So with the Super Bowl food intake only third behind Christmas and Thanksgiving as mammoth calorie overloads, don’t convince yourself that you can burn it all up by climbing under the sheets.
It is always during the cold, dark days of January that I feel the dowdiest. My hair is darkest and misses the sunkissed highlights, my skin is driest and my makeup never goes on as well, and I am still feeling the after effects of too much Christmas cheer. And like most women, body image impacts my feelings of being sexy, despite my best intentions. So what’s a girl to do to keep her groove on?
I’m writing a new book on growing your libido and I’m slogging through the research right now. I’ve whittled the list and have come up with the quick 10 things you can start doing to increase your sexiness and have you purring on those cold, winter nights.
1. Green tea and/or extract. It’s long been known that caffeine (coffee and green tea) is an anti-oxidant and metabolism booster. It helps you detox, boosts your metabolism for energy and is naturally slimming. It’s one of the few supplements that I ALWAYS have on my counter. Have a read further.
2. Wahl massager. I’m always preaching about the plug-in kind of vibrator (forget the batteries). When you can buy it at Walgreens or Shopper’s Drug Mart and you can leave it in your sock drawer without worrying that your kids will know what it is even better. Daily, enthusiastic, vigorous stimulation of your lady parts (or protruding parts) is a great thing. Orgasms prompt the release of lots of things that boost your immune system.
3. Listen to music or better yet dance like no one is watching. We hear music before we are out of the womb, and respond to it during our lifetime. Smell and audio are connected to sexual response for women. Men are turned on by what they see, women by what we hear and imagine. Dancing brings in all of these senses and kick starts your libido.
4. Eat Chocolate. It’s really my guilty pleasure. The truth is that a small amount of dark chocolate every day is heart healthy, and has flavonoids that put you in the mood. Yeah! Choose chocolate that is over 70% cacao.
5. Vitamin D drops. I can’t say enough about making sure you get enough Vitamin D. I suggest 4-5000 mg for my low libido patients. It’s one of the things that really does impact your health and sexual desire immediately.
6. Magnesium. I suggest 240 mg of magnesium daily to help put that bounce in your step.
7. Afternoon Delight. If you can take a nap in the afternoon followed by time to be intimate, it can help you have even the most elusive of orgasms. A mid afternoon nap improves mood, alertness, and helps balance your hormone levels. And it won’t affect your night time sleep schedule. Snooze for 20 minutes, followed by a little horizontal cuddling is one of the best things you can do for your health. Afternoon is one of the best time to entice your female partner into bed according to the research from Rush University in Chicago. Sex and a nap…..hmmmm.
8. Drink regularly. I mean a glass of wine or beer a day. I just finished the book about The Blue Zones, which talks about the hot spots in the world where people routinely live to be over 100. They all (and I mean all) raised a glass of homemade wine, beer, sake or the like. Scientists still don’t know if it is alcoholic or non-alcoholic components, but who cares? Have a glass on me.
9. Throw a party (and no, I’m not talking about an orgy). With the Superbowl, Valentine’s Day or even Robbie Burns Day coming up, having a party will help you kick the doldrums. Being social is one of the key indicators for longevity and flirting with other people in a safe, harmless actually increases your testosterone level and puts you in the mood for your partner.
10. Eye gaze and schedule daily touch. Just like in the new movie with Merle Streep and Tommy Lee Jones, Hope Springs, finding time to check in sensuously and even just hold each other is huge. Eye gazing with my sweetie causes me to melt. It is profoundly intimate to touch and eye gaze. And intimacy is what most women are craving sexually. Go rent Hope Springs, get some chocolate and a glass of wine for your sweetie and curl up with some snuggling and eye gazing. If that doesn’t get you laid, take 2 aspirins and call your neighborhood sex therapist. I can be reached by skype at sue.mcgarvie and I’ll get you back on track.
Low libido, or inhibited sexual desire is the big issue that keeps coming up in my office as a sex therapist.
Often commonalities of people experiencing low libido include low levels of free testosterone, inflammation of the cells with a High sensitivity CR protein in the blood, food allergies and low belly fat among things. And then there is the emotional, relationship, and psychological issues.
If you are struggling with low libido where do you start to change things around?
I’ve written a number of posts with supplements and suggestions for low libido.
Here are some more obscure ideas that might help.
1. Try the new IXEL anti depressant. SSRI anti-depressants are notorious libido killers. IXEL out of Turkey which has just been licensed in the US, may actually increase libido if you need depression meds.
2. Try an exotic fruit. Sometimes its trace minerals that can impact libido. Zinc, magnesium and chromium all seem to be low in my libido patients. Peel a pomegranate instead of a banana. Or try dragon fruit or mangosteens that are packed with the trace minerals that North American fruit may be low in.
3. Daily dose of red wine. Really. I know everyone is telling you to cut back on alcohol. However the tannin’s in red wine help increase your testosterone (especially in women) and put that bounce in your step.
4. See a chiropractor. If you’ve never been now is the time to consider it. That or acupuncture. Blocks in the nervous system from misalignment can be solved through a chiropractor appointment or traditional Chinese medicine practitioner.
5. The Magic Banana or Intensity strengthening toys. There are a couple of new toys on the market that increase pelvic muscle tone. One is the Intensity which uses electrodes to increase muscle tension. The other a yellow, flexible loop called The Magic Banana, forces the internal muscles to contract and increase the blood flow to the genitals. And that’s all good when you want to increase your libido.
What I do know after 25 years of specializing in low libido is that it doesn’t magically get better. Your sex life needs work to flourish. If you’ve lost that loving feeling then I encourage you to reach out. Solution oriented sex therapy by skype or phone can address the problem and put a bounce back in your step. Reach out now.
I regularly talk about how sex is soooo physically good for your body. Forget ho good it feels, or how good it is for your relationship, sex is essential for a healthy lifestyle. My friend Dr. Amen says “that is your partner is denying you sex, they should be charged with attempted murder”.
I’ve waxed poetic about the importance of a healthy sex life for a quality life. Go figure, I’m a sex therapist and I think having sex is vital. However, I have every study done in the last 20 years that support this statement. I you aren’t having sex, it has the health impact of being obese or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Now there is even more reason to boff.
“The fountain of youth can be found between the sheets,” said Dr. Anderson, who, along with the Gamans, runs Executive Medicine of Texas in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. “Frequent intercourse causes the brain to release human growth hormone, which helps maintain youth.”
Dr. Gaman points out that “middle-aged men who have sex five times a week can lower the risk for prostate cancer by 33 percent, compared to those that have sex only five times a month.”
Judy Gaman adds another startling fact: “Vigorous sex three times a week for a year is the equivalent caloric burn as walking 75 miles.”
So it also keeps you fit. The endorphins help boost your immunity. And helps lower your weight. So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get naked.
There are two hot new diet books just released this spring. One is Cynthia Sass’s new
-
Cinch Diet
that claims to “conquer cravings, drop pounds, and lose inches as her subtitle.” The other is by Dr. Natasha Turner called The Supercharged Hormone Diet which is the “30 day accelerated plan to lose weight, restore metabolism and feel younger longer”.
Sass’s Cinch Diet emphasizes eating 5 key foods: almonds, spinach, eggs, raspberries and yogurt for 5 days, and then slowly adding new foods. Sass had a few interesting things to say. The first is that antioxidant levels increase weight loss. I hadn’t heard it said quite so directly. She claims that the phytochemical index (PI) or the chemical compound that naturally occurs in plants is interchangeable with antioxidant. The higher the level of PI, the easier it was to lose weight Alternatively,if you have a normal weight- even if you are eating the same things, you have a higher score and are thus less likely of developing cancers. She also goes on about natural fat burners including apple cider vinegar, citrus juice, hot peppers (cayenne capsules), green tea, basil, and garlic. She also sings the praises of almond butter and almond milk. Sass further explains why calorie counting is outdated. She feels that the quality of very calorie is more important than the total quantity.
She has a number of recipes and some good suggestions but there isn’t much I haven’t read before. Her book in my opinion gets a B.
Now Dr. Turner’s new book is a re-fresh of her hormone diet. She really gets into the list of hormones going on in yor body and offers a detox the first two weeks that she claims will eliminate cravings. She says she cut out the science in this book to make it simpler, but the facts are well presented. She also works with your body PH- which is something I’ve been preaching for awhile and using with my libido patients. Buy the little wheel of PH paper at the health food store and keep a check on your PH level. See what happens after you eat ice cream or drink 2 cups of coffee. Your goal is saliva at 7.2-7.4 each morning.
Nat Turner also has you record your sleep levels, exercise levels and keeps your blood sugar up with detox shakes throughout the day. She also has a bunch of recipes that involve variations on eggs, yogurt, almond butter, berries, and veggies. In this regard both books are similar.
I prefer the hormone diet (a A-) as I notice a huge difference when I take my supplements and balance my blood sugar. I’m keeping a journal as I take the best of both books and see how I fare. I’ll keep you posted.
I’m reading John Gray’s new book Venus on Fire and Mars on Ice about male and female hormonal changes. Now John Gray is an interesting guy. He is the #1 best selling realtionship therapist in history with his book about the differences between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus). He has some insights into gender (especially understanding guys) and he credits the latest scientific research for how interaction can impact our physical selves. It’s a very interesting understanding that how we get along increases of decreases or hormones. And if you’ve been reading my blog (www.loveandlipstick.com) you’ll know that it’s ALL about your hormones.
His new book explains why men and women behave the way they do.
The truth is we all need to fill up our hormonal bucket before we can interact with our spouse. Men ave been dealing with the world all day and all they want to do when they come home is turn on Sports Center, ope a beer and zone out. Women have laundry, dishes, dinner and need to conect an talk about our days to unwind. The last thing men want to do is talk about their day.
It turns out tha men need quiet to recharge their main hormone- testosterone. Women on the other hand, need to nurture and be nurtured in order to replenish their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is women’s main “feel better” hormone.
Gray goes onto explain that besides zoning out, men get charged by 1. solving problems. 2. feeling needed. Women on the other hand, feel better when they 1. have a listening ear 2. care and cluck over a loved one.
Which translates into him wanting to solve you problem, and you needed just a a chance to air out how you’re feeling. John Gray makes a good point. He says that when women feel like they aren’t fixing things it bugs them. It is that feeling times ten for men. And if a guy is ignored it stings, but it is that feeling times ten when a women isn’t acknowledged.
Good points and what’s interesting is that how you interact GREATLY impacts your health and physcal self. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve had the research to say that human interaction WILL affect our bodies. Just like stressed people have heat attacks, men who have sex live longer, and people are able to keep their hormones up (and thus be healthier) if they understand the kind of daily human interaction they need.
I used to have a very bad case of sleep apnea. Needed naps in the afternoon, woke up gasping, and had earthquake-like snoring that moved my partner to another room for years. I once casued an international incident falling asleep on an air plane. I was that loud.
Sleep apnea is casued when the back of your throat closes over your widpipe and cuts off the oxygen while sleeping. The air going through causes your palate to vibrate loudly. My whole famly had problems with it. I describe the group of us ( my amazing family) as “barrels with legs” who had thick necks and short torsos (now doesn’t that sound attractive…) and small, closed off tracheas . Sleep apnea is a very serious issue, and is the cause of more sleep related deaths, heart attacks, and fatigue issues than most people realize. You also walk around like the a cast member from Dawn of the Dead becasue your body keeps jerking you out of sleep in order to breathe. It can impact marriages (certainly sex lives), and leave sufferers chronically exhausted. It also goes (terrifyingly) on your driving record.
To diagnose apnea you go for a sleep test. You end up looking alot like the guy in the picture. They wire you up with electrodes to determine if you have small breathing pauses during the night. I just finished my third of these tests. I’m trying to download the picture of me covered in wires so you can see how attractive I am as the bride of Frankenstein. You don’t get much sleep. You are in a hospital setting and they have a camera watching you dose and listening to your charming sleep sounds. They wake you up if your mask slips of if one of your wires disconect.
On my first sleep test I was diagnosed with severe apnea. My second test involved what I call “sleeping with the elephant”. This is where they put you on a CPAP machine with as long air tube uses air pressure to force the back of your throat open. I ended up ripping it off in the middle of the night and throwing it across the room. Other people love them and couldn’t imagine how they ever slept without it. They wake up rested and oxygenated for the first time in years. I hated the machine and tried it for over a month with no success. I kept taking it off while I slept. So I opted for the UPPP surgery. This involved tearing out my tonsils, my uvula (the dangly thing at the back of your throat), and a good chunk of the soft palate. This surgery is not for the faint of heart. 6 week recovery, and is considered the most painful surgery there is – far more painful than heart surgery. It was Hell but there was an end in sight. And my apnea was severe enough to need treatment.
However it cured my snoring. My sleep test last night was to see if I have fully recovered and past the test. I’ll have my results next week. In the mentime, if your soring has gotten worse, you have over a 16 inch neck (female) or 17 inch neck (male) and you feel tired – you too may have sleep apnea. It’s much more common than you think and I know of two women in their 30′s PERSONALLY, who have died from it. Besides you can end up with the fetching pictures after you get wired up. Talk to your doctor about a sleep referral.
I’ve coined a phrase in my Libido Diet book called ELD. I call it Environmental Libido Disorder. As I kept seeing the same type of woman day after day in my office I thought- there has to be a physical connection. Here’s the checklist for ELD.
1. Petite (under size 10)
2. Fair skined or fine features
3. Food allergy or sensitivity
4. Gastro intestinal variability
5. Good relationship with nice partners but never feels like having sex.
6. Has been on the birth control pill in the past. Often with difficulties.
7. Between the ages of 25-49 and should be reaching their sexual peak.
8. Often has been on antidepressants in the past.
9. Responds quickly to program of suplements, and hormones.
If this sounds like you d’tlet some doctor tell you it’s all in your head. I can turn this around and save your relationship. Download the libido diet or email me at suem@rogers.com for an appointment. I have loads of women who’se husbands are so frustrated and it could cost their marriage.
ELD is a real, physical disorder and you need trained help RIGHT NOW. It’s only going to get worse.
Now compare this to a discussion of sexual anorexica and how it is defined.
I’ve had a number of couples who aren’t having sex and wondered about the anorexia title. I think may coules have what I call ELD (environmental libiodo disorder). Which is a combination of busy lives, high stress cortisol level, medicatios such as the pill and anti depressants, and inflamed colons that chronically lower their libidos.
Sexual anorexia is different. SA can have some of the following symptoms:
-Staying so busy that you have little time for your spouse
-Rather masturbate than have sex with your partner.
– When issues come up your first reflex or response is to blame your spouse
-Withholding sex from your spouse or not being present during sex
-Unwilling or unable to share your authentic feelings with your spouse
-Using anger or silence to control your spouse-
-Having ongoing or ungrounded criticism (spoken or unspoken)
–
Controlling or shaming your spouse regarding money or spending