6 things you need to think about when healing from past trauma
Lately I’m seeing more and more sad, overwhelmed and troubled people in my office. As a Sex and Relationship Therapist I spend most of my day talking about genitals (and how they rub together) and how to increase the amount of connection and intimacy with your partner. I don’t specialize in anxiety, depression, family of origin work but I have clients whose trauma and life stress are spilling over into their relationships.
Women especially are overwhelmed, and self medicating to deal with the unmanageable parts of their lives. We hear lots about balance, self-care and “getting rid of baggage” but how do you actually do that?
Here are some suggestions from the PTSD experts.
On the journey from “Heal Thyself” to “Healthy Self,” remember:
1. We must be willing to choose to grow up and become the fully embodied Self; to own all of who we are – the good, the bad, and the ugly; to blow the lid off of exploitation, oppression, and fear; and to know that, to be empowered, we must embrace our darkest hours as deeply as we do our brightest moments. It all matters. It all makes us who we are.
2. There is no shame in being human. There is no shame in being flawed and imperfect. There is no shame in telling the truth.
3. It takes courage to do what must be done. It takes courage to be an adult in this world. It takes courage to be your Self – all of you!
4. We need to accept, forgive, and love ourselves rather than hate, despise, and humiliate. Shaming yourself for what you’ve been taught to believe is a “bad or unacceptable” version of you will only keep you disempowered. Fragmented. Broken.
5. We need to learn from the most wounded parts of us by shining light on them, listening to what they need more or less of, then encouraging them to ascend and expand rather than shrivel and die.
6. Expanding our emotional edges takes self-awareness, courage, and willingness. We have to pull our heads out of the sand and wake up!
Basically it means writing, reading, listening, talking, getting counseling, support for all the pieces inside you that are fragmented. Pushing it down will only work for awhile. And you are worth it.
Hugs
