New relationship research that outlines how satisfied you are with your partner.
It’s been an unprecedented two years & the strain on relationships have been incredible. Couple’s therapists have seen challenges with clients being locked down, relationships ending, levels of discord & abuse never before witnessed. The good news is that if your relationship has made it this far it is likely to make it through anything. There is a new study that outlines what
the relationship characteristics that best predicted a person’s satisfaction were. They are:
- Perceived partner commitment
- Appreciation
- Sexual satisfaction
- Perceived partner satisfaction
- Conflict resolution
Interestingly, their partner’s personality or their partner’s perception of the relationship seemed to matter relatively little, Joel said.
And while factors such as your personality or whether or not you experience depression or anxiety could very well affect the quality of your relationship, building a relationship that you feel satisfied and secure in could outweigh those things, the study’s authors wrote.
“The fact that individual characteristics predicted relationship quality but did not provide any unique predictive power beyond relationship factors suggests that individual characteristics do matter, but their effects on relationship quality are largely attributable to their effects on relationship dynamics,” Justin Lavner, a psychologist at the University of Georgia says.
Getting through the pandemic without snapping at your partner can be considered Graduate school relationship dynamics. Most of the couples interviewed put their relationships first – and protected the couple dynamic rather that build walls and become defensive when the going got tough.
That’s hard to do if you have experienced childhood trauma. While intimate partners can heal those traumas (read about Stan Tatkin’s research & approach) outside pressures make it easy to revert back to unhealthy, isolating or needy behaviours.
Being around other couples who model great relationships help. That’s been near impossible during the pandemic. In a few cities, we run the Duckling Social Groups that are open to fully vaccinated individuals that let couples have fun, learn sex & relationship skills, and see healthy relationships modeled. So basically, go out on date nights. Find a community. Read a book about how family of origin can impact your marriage. Make an appointment with a therapist. Be gentle with yourself & your partner. It will get better.
