Dating sites – the good, the bad and the misleading
I think online dating is a great way to meet someone. In my estimation, at least you know they can spell. I also think that meeting in a bar is a generally bad idea. For men, a bar is comforting – community, where they feed and water you, and where you have the off chance of making a connection. Fo women over 25, (at least the women I know) are there to meet up with girlfriends but are rarely thereto hook up. Besides, alcohol blurs your natural abilities to separate the "wheat from the chaff" (or note if they party in question in unbathed).
So I am a big proponent of online dating, and suggest that you keep working at it, and changing up your ad to get the hundred dates you need to meet your special someone. The trouble is, that on some dating sites, they stack the ads with "phoney girls" just to keep you hooked and online longer.
A Brooklyn man sued Match.com yesterday for inflicting "humiliation and disappointment" on lonely hearts "who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply."
Sean McGinn alleges the popular matchmaking Web site dangles phony date bait by posting profiles of people who no longer subscribe to its $39.99-a-month service.
As a result, lovelorn singles have been "defrauded" out of millions of dollars and countless hours spent sending heartfelt missives in vain, the 37-year-old TV producer says.
Most members of Match.com — which claims 86 million searches a month in the United States — are actually unavailable because they "are canceled subscribers or never subscribed at all," according to his suit filed in Manhattan federal court.
The class-action complaint doesn't specify damages, but says they exceed $5 million.
McGinn is also demanding that the Internet's biggest dating site "cease and desist its deceptive practices," which he claims are "willfully causing emotional harm to the consumer and social harm to society at large."
"Match's policy causes severe emotional distress and anxiety for some [subscribers], including those who keep writing e-mails to one member after another and never hear back because he/she is writing to people who've canceled," his suit says.
"Because the writer has no way of knowing this, he or she may experience profound personal anguish, suffering which is easily preventable by Match."
The suit also alleges that "Match induces canceled members to log in . . . creating the appearance that inactive members are active" by sending bogus BlackBerry notifications that read, "Someone has winked back at you."
McGinn declined to comment, but in an ironic twist, his lawyer said McGinn "met someone he's happy with" through the site.
"We're not saying that Match doesn't provide a valuable service, but they don't have to misrepresent what they're offering you," attorney Norah Hart said.
About 15 other disgruntled Match.com users are lined up to join the case, she said.
McGinn's suit is the latest in a series of fraud allegations lodged against Dallas-based Match.com and other social-networking sites cause heartache and misery.
In keeping with this, here are my rules for online dating:
1. Stay local. Your goal is to have coffee with a hundred people who fit your profile. That's hard to do if they live a continent away.
2. If they look too good to be true – they are. Guaranteed they are fake – or nutcases.
3. Men tend to look better than their pictures and women look the same or worse. That's because if we are going to post a picture, women have done our hair, put on our best clothes, and look great.
4. Men should put a picture of their pet (or somebody else's) on their profile. Women like men that care okay with kids and puppies, but men think women with pets (unless it's a champion German Shepard or hunting dog) are "crazy cat ladies".
5. For women, what men want is a kind women who looks good. This is the time to join weight watchers, go to the gym, the spa , and crank up the sexy quotient. Men aren't all shallow, but they are ruled by first visual impressions.
6. For men, what women want is safe, clean, funny, intelligent, and humble. Did I mention clean?
7. Finally, don't be afraid to google someone. If you are chatting with somebody, get their real name and google them. If they don't exist, you might want to raise an eyebrow.