Dating from 2020 onward. Why and how the rules of dating have changed.
2020 has been a Hell of year.
For most people the chaos of a global pandemic has amplified what’s going on in people’s relationships. And there is nothing like being locked down for months at a time to have even the most ardent introvert looking for connections.
So what can you do?
How to make the most of 2020 pandemic dating – a primer. Here’s what has changed (and what has stayed the same) as we wind down 2020.
- It turns out that during a Global pandemic is the best time to actually set up lasting connections. Hookup aps like tinder, grindr, Hinge etc are out. Clients I’m speaking to are having better luck with OKcupid.com & Bumbl that let women lead the way. There is also loads of success with some of the newer aps. “A good one is The League, which started out as an “elite” app for Ivy League graduates, and has since expanded to people who are simply smart and driven. She’s also heard good things about a new app called Cheekd, which uses a cross-platform low-energy Bluetooth technology to match you with people who are in your direct vicinity.”
- The same rules as ever apply for keeping things classy. Use authentic photos of you doing fun things, keep it positive, don’t give off that smell of desperation (too eager is ALWAYS a turn off.)
- Go to places with experiences. Dating in 2020 involves walks, virtual dates, pumpkin patches, outside Christmas tree places, unique shops and bundled up on patios. Check out the local dating during a pandemic suggestions blog.
- This is the not the time to keep grazing hoping the next person might be better. Try to go on a minimum of 3 dates if a potential partner feels like a maybe. People will grow on you if you give them a chance. But don’t make excuses for them if they treat you badly.
- This is the time for meaningful connections. People value authenticity more than ever. Figure out your most endearing, real, and slightly deprecating qualities and put it out there up front.
- You have something to talk about. This came up in an article in the Atlantic. “Instead of searching for topics that would hopefully elucidate our compatibility, my matches and I now had an all-encompassing shared experience to discuss. I tried to steer the early dialogue away from the magnitude of our global predicament, and we were able to find common ground over topics such as how we were keeping ourselves busy at home. The men were more responsive, likely because the shutdowns had left all of us with few obligations, clinging to any social connection we could find.
- Yes dating has changed. Anyone casual will be scared off already. Everyone is more hesitant and only people ready to take their time remains. According to the new McGill University study disease makes us less friendly and more hesitant. Scary times bring us down to an element of our psyche known as the “behavioural immune system”. Pathogens have presented a threat to our survival throughout human history. So, evolutionary psychologists believe humans have evolved a set of subconscious responses that manifest when we are particularly concerned about the presence of an infectious disease. These responses lead us to engage in behavioural patterns that reduce the likelihood of getting infected, such as being less open and making reduced eye contact when in social situations.”
- Video dates have become more casual. Less stress than going to a coffee as you can do it from home. And people tend to fall in love if they relax. The pandemic has meant that every date becomes more precious. Quiet people need 3-5 dates before they start to blossom. And there is less of “the grass is greener” move on quickly during Covid.
- You are less likely to be catfished. I was just reading an article about whole industries that hire professional writers to work to have you fall in love with them. Agh! You might be writing someone else just to find out they are not anything like they are letting on. If you need help to wade through the scary world of dating in general (and to clean up some of the old baggage) feel free to reach out. My three session of dating coaching will GUARANTEE you dates. Just saying….
And through all of this Ducklingdating.com is launching. It’s open to a variety of relationship models, vetted, local, kind, with authentic questions that celebrate who you are – not what you have. Check it out and the Duck site.
