The testosterone decline. How men in the US (and arguably Canada) have 68% less manhood

For many women testosterone is a curse. It’s the hormone that makes men, well men. It what leads to wars, guys shoving raging erections against your backs first thing in the morning (I’m not saying that is always a bad thing), and I’m sure is responsible for leaving the toilet seat up so you do a splash down in the middle of the night.  It turns out that the amount of testosterone is declining at the slow and steady rate of 1% per year. That’s like the few minutes the days get shorter on the way to the winter equinox. Nothing taken by themselves, but cumulatively, boy do they add up to a bunch of emasculated men. The study done by epidemiologist Dr. Shanna Swansays testosterone rates rates in North America and Western Europe are down 68% and 40% respectively since 1934 when men were apparently more men-like. It makes sense as testosterone decreases with stuff like lavender, and tea tree oil, PCP’s in fishing lures (and the fish in lakes, along with sex toys) lawn pesticides, and bad bike seats pollute guys and muck up their hormones. I’m seeing it daily with loads of low libido women, and now with men who in their 30’s, have testosterone of 70 year olds. Not only does it slow down sexual performance but also things like athletic abilities, strength and ambition. I’m not kidding, and my days are spent looking at lab work where the free testosterone isn’t where it should be. Sigh. Get a blood test if your get up and go isn’t where it used to be.

So I’m off to crunchy granola, organic, nutrition grow-your-own-sprouts class tonight to see if there are suggestions that can help my patients reclaim their ball scratching, chest hair pulling manhood (and the women who can’t get into the mood to jump said lugs). My guy scoffed at my “plant workshop” tonight but he should be thankful he lives with a overly curious, slightly indignant sex therapist who has a vested interest in keeping his testosterone high. Even if it means I keep putting down the toilet seat.