The perils of wearing lingerie, and why we should all sue Victoria Secret

Have you heard about the story of the LA traffic worker who has filed suit against Victoria Secret because her thong malfunctioned? Wardrobe malfunctions (not of Janet Jackson’s infamous halftime variety), but a real woman who had a mortifying underwear experience on the job. Her thong apparently chose an embarrassing moment to come apart, and smacked her in the eye.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,368206,00.html Now I’m dead set against the frivolous litigious US society, but I have cursed my share of lingerie in my life. My life is a lingerie injury waiting to happen. Snaps popping, garters-ungarting, those damned seams that only the transvestites I know who can get them lined up straight down the back of your legs. I take off my bras while driving, and I gave up wearing underwear after my last pregnancy when I was the size of a house and couldn’t find anything but those hideous granny, cotton-white tents to wear. I remember before I lost my weight searching an entire shopping mall in vain for a strapless bra to wear under my wedding gown. I remember thinking that if they only made bras for skinny girls, I should sue somebody if I put an eye out with my bouncing bosoms. Now here is someone who ACTUALLY lost an eye. Damn them all for not making lingerie that actually supports real bodies, and I for one am quietly hoping that she gets her pound of flesh from Victoria Secret. And makes them gain it so the thong in question gives them a wedgie like it gives women who wear them.