Tag Archive for: sue mcgarvie

Compassionate Approaches to Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

One time, I asked Sue how to deal with jealousy that I was experiencing within my relationship. It was harmful to me, my partner, and our relationship. But, Sue told me something that has stuck with me and has really helped. She said, right now my jealousy feels like a dinosaur and it feels so painful and hard. Soon my jealousy will feel like an elephant, a hippo, a rhino, a bison, a lion, dog, cat, mouse, fly, gnat. She said most importantly, sit with your emotions, allow yourself to feel discomfort, it is natural and normal. From this conversation, I have learned a lot.

In the realm of romantic relationships, jealousy can be a challenging emotion to grapple with. It has the power to create rifts, erode trust, and disrupt the harmony between two people who care deeply for one another. However, when approached with kindness, understanding, and open communication, jealousy can become an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. In this blog post, we will explore some gentle strategies for handling jealousy within a relationship, fostering an environment of love, trust, and support.

The first step in addressing jealousy is to cultivate empathy. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. Jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity or fear of losing the love and attention of our significant other. By acknowledging and validating your partner’s emotions, you create a safe space for them to express their concerns and fears without judgment.

Clear and honest communication is vital when dealing with jealousy. Encourage your partner to share their feelings openly, and listen with compassion and patience. Instead of becoming defensive, try to understand the underlying reasons behind their jealousy. Express your commitment to the relationship and assure them of your love and dedication. By talking openly about jealousy, you can work together to find constructive solutions.

Building trust is essential in overcoming jealousy. Make a conscious effort to be transparent with your partner. Share your thoughts, experiences, and interactions with others, ensuring that there are no hidden secrets or misunderstandings. Encourage your partner to do the same. When trust is nurtured through openness and honesty, jealousy often loses its grip, allowing your relationship to flourish.

Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial to addressing jealousy effectively. Discuss and define what is acceptable within your relationship, including topics such as personal space, friendships, and social interactions. By setting mutually agreed-upon boundaries, you create a framework of trust and respect that helps alleviate jealousy. Respect each other’s boundaries and consistently reaffirm your commitment to respecting them.

Jealousy can often arise from a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Encourage your partner to engage in activities that boost their self-worth and self-belief. Support their personal growth and remind them of their unique qualities and strengths. By cultivating self-confidence individually, you both contribute to a healthier relationship dynamic, reducing the occurrence of jealousy.

A surefire way to counteract jealousy is by celebrating each other’s successes. Jealousy can be fueled by a fear of being left behind or not measuring up to your partner’s achievements. Instead of feeling threatened, be genuinely happy and proud of your partner’s accomplishments. Offer encouragement, praise, and support. By celebrating together, you reinforce the idea that you are a team, and success for one is a victory for both.

Navigating jealousy in a relationship is a delicate process that requires patience, understanding, and open communication. By approaching jealousy with kindness, empathy, and a genuine desire to strengthen your connection, you can transform it into an opportunity for personal growth and a deeper bond with your partner. Remember, love, trust, and support are the pillars on which healthy relationships are built. Embrace these principles, and together, you can overcome jealousy and create a relationship filled with love, understanding, and harmony.

Want to hear more about this topic? Listen to episode 14 of Sue’s podcast “Sex with Sue and Ryan… and Adam: Jealousy and Ex-Partners.”

Meet Sue McGarvie


Sue’s professional training is in psychology and reproductive medicine, and she has been a registered Sex Therapist since 1993. She has degrees from Carleton University in Psychology and Education, Laurentian University in Sexuality and Family Life, The Banff Center in New Media, and Ryerson University in Broadcast Technology. Her unique expertise on healthy sexuality and media is sought after Internationally. She is the founder of The Ottawa Sex Therapy Clinic and is a member of The Society of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, The Federation of Medical Women, and The Sex Therapy Council of Canada. She is also the author of two books on sexuality, including the Canadian bestseller Quivering Jello. She was nominated for the Roman’s Canadian Women Entrepreneur for 2002, and is a Top 40 under 40 finalist.
Beginning in 1993, Sue hosted a #1-rated radio call-in show for five years called Sunday Night Sex With Sue with Standard Broadcasting on The Bear CKQB in Ottawa. She currently hosts a show called “Love and Romance” which is syndicated in markets across Canada, including CFRB in Toronto, and CJAD in Montreal. Her new television series called Unzipped that aired on Global in 2005. She is currently in development on her next television project.
In 1999 Sue founded Passion Media, a multimedia company, marketing mainstream relationship information throughout North America. Sue helped take the company public in July of 2002. Sue wrote the applications and lobbied the CRTC for two national digital television licenses which were granted in December 2000 for Passion Television and The Singles Network. Sue has two more licenses pending to the CRTC, and has successfully negotiated a launch window for those applications.
Sue McGarvie has been a named a Woman of Distinction (1997), the I. H. Asper Broadcast Entrepreneur of the Year (1998), Business and Professional Women’s Association Woman of the Year (1994). She also won unprecedented awards as Volunteer of the Year for 2002 for both Wired Women of Canada and Canadian Women in Communications for her work as National Mentorship Chair and Director. Sue is the current CEO of Lovebug Media, is the only multi-media company in North America focused exclusively on the genres of sex, romance and relationship content. Her previous company, The Love and Romance Stores Inc., launched a chain of stores described as the next “Body Shop” by national media.
Sue is a member of The International Alliance for Women, and International Women’s Forum, and has established a national Mentorship Database to promote support and partnership of women entrepreneurs. She is the current co-president of UNIFEM Canada, the women’s branch of the United Nations, and Chaired the working group of The Prime Minister’s Task Force report for Entrepreneurial Women. She was a founding director for the Shirley E. Greenberg Women’s Health Center at The Ottawa Hospital, and has been a corporate director for a few start-ups in her work as a Mentorship advocate.
Sue stays sane and grounded with the help of a supportive husband, two blue-eyed kids, and a sense of humor.

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last bit about what makes a great relationship

www.sexwithsue.com, www.loveandlipstick.com

Suein headphones
 
I asked my Mother (who's in Ministry with the United Church of Canada) what she thought made a great relationship.

Her thoughts were that were good relationships (although she couldn't suggest one I could interview for my show, nor could I come up with an example of a  great marriage.)

This was her list:

-Stood the test of time

-Realized it had ups and downs and that there was no such thing as perfection.

-Comfortable with each other

-Passion and an implicit trust

-Similar values

-Similar interests

-Same core beliefs, and the comittment to spend your life with that person.

-Having both people be all they can be.

Thanks Mom. Check out her bed and breakfast at St. Lawrence B & B in Morrisburg.

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Keeping the spark alive part 2. 10 tips of great marriages

Great
 
The theme of Love and Lipstick is all about great relationships. We came up with a few lists of what makes one of these almost elusive "magical marraige".
 
Here was the list I generated:
1. Having laugh-out loud humour. Certainly the Ruetger's University study suggests a sense of humour will carry you through.
2. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone. We have a fridge magnet that I see every day that says "life begins at the end of your comfort zone".
3. Unemcumbered time. Do nothing but talk, walk on the beach, rub the other's feet, and just connect.
4. Make sure your life has sensuous, erotic and intimate moments. That doesn't always mean sex, but that does mean adult, alone, let's be slightly naughty.
5. Fell safe enough to tell your partner anything.
6. Don't judge your partner. Feel free to tell them anything – from I scratched the car to fantasies.
7. No knock-down, drag out fights. One or the other stops it before it gets ugly.
8. Date nights, and a real effort despite crazy lives to get out together and be together.
9. Don't ever, ever, threaten the relationship. No saying "if you do that I'm out of here…"
10. Finally try if you can to put your partners needs ahead of your own. If you both do it, then you both get your needs met.
 
Tune in this week as we explore hormones, libido and staying connected despite no longer being 20.
Cheers!
Sue

Ottawa's sexiest couple as part of the new Love and Lipstick radio show

Hands
Hey!
We are looking for Ottawa's sexiest couples!
 
But sexy is defined as who you are, NOT what you look like.
I dont need pictures, I need descriptions of what makes you sexy.
Have you been together forever and still get butterflies when he/she walks through the door?
Do you take romantic adventures and feel super connected?
Does your partner clean off your car, bring you tea, rub your feet, send love notes in your lunch and do things that make you feel incredibly loved?
Then I want to hear from you!!
 
I want couples in all age groups, so if you still have 80 year old grandparents who are still "goosing" eachother, then have them write me!
 
At Love and Lipstick we define the quality of your life as the quality of your relationships. 
Men define themselves by what they do professionally, women by who they are and relationships by how close and connected you feel.
 
Lets start by defining what is sexy to you.
We will be having contesting as adventures for Ottawa's sexiest couple, so I want to hear from you!Sex with Sue, 99.7 EZ Rock