A word about orgies, threesomes and grinding away like a mass of writhing bodies


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“One or two animals is OK, but three or more is just pretending to be Scottish.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Orgy

“When an orgy comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another orgy, and the wise already have an orgy in reserve.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Orgies

So Oscar Wilde seemed to be an afficiado of the above Roman orgies. You know the ones where everyone dives into the pile and looks like the Bears and Browns all piled on top of each other, only usually worse looking, with no clothes on, and involving a bunch more women.  Someone asked me recently if people were still having orgies. I don’t know if it is just a curiousity about finding one, or if orgies are still on the “What’s in this year list” that pops up around new Year’s. Orgies are defined as “a wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity” (and since I’ve all but given up drinking – as it goes straight to my hips- that leaves us non-drinkers out. Or how about ” orgy – A large, and often lavish, gathering of people for the purpose of having group sex.” Maybe it’s in the definition. The current terms seem to favor “gang bang” (In heterosexual parlance gangbang usually refers to one woman and multiple men),but I’m getting more of the questions when as it relates to “girl only” groups. 

I’ve been reading Zandra Bell who is a comedian who discusses multiple anything sounding exciting.
Like her I believe that menageries a trois are best enjoyed in your mind. In the fantasy world everything flows smoothly, and climaxes simultaneously. This is not real life. The problems occur when you try to translate your erotic images into reality. There are only so many appendages to go with a certain number of orify (that’s the plural), that unless you are a double jointed acrobatic troupe, someone’s dangly bits are going to be left out in the cold.
When we are doing seminars on “what’s new in sex” Blaik and I are often asked about multiple partners. Hey, we’ve been to Hedonism where a “group grope” has been known to break out (if you know where to look). They seem to break out regularly among bi-sexual women, but the true orgy (or key party where you went home with the partner who owned the keys you took out of the basket randomly) seems to happen with people who are extremely comfortable with each other. There are the issues with safety, clean sheets, and who gets to lie in the wet spots. More on this musing as I research for the next book.
Non-Monogamy is in the top three most common questions I see in my practice. If you want to talk about it then I encourage you to book an appointment. I can give you an idea how to dip a toe without screwing up your relationship. Hit me up!