What can you do if you have painful intercourse? Here are 5 suggestions to use tonight

I’ve written about this before but despite talking about dyspareunia (painful sex) and vulvodynia (generalized vulva pain) to countless of women the numbers in my office complaining about painful girl bits seems to be higher than ever.
I like pelvic physiotherapists if you’ve got pain. Often even better than doctors. They specialize in those few inches and are absolute experts. If you’ve seen a doctor and have ruled out infections, inverted or protruding uteruses and other medical conditions then pelvic physio is your next step. They will suggest dilators (often not fn and motivating to try) but they can give you some more information about your own body.
I think before sex women need to do a few things. Get wet. Meaning crack open the oil and use it generously. I like anything you can eat such as coconut oil or almond oil. I then suggest bringing out the toys. You need to increase blood flow. That happens with vibration. Products like the Zumio or the magic wand are my favourite toys to help get you going ahead of time. But any vibrator that you like will work.
I also like the orgasm creams. You can buy them at any sex store (or online at toy sale companies). I describe it as a Halls for your genitals. It increases blood flow and let’s your clit “breathe”. If you need really intensive and the over the counter stuff doesn’t work please read the recipe for prescription based Scream Cream on my site. It’s the bomb.
Then I suggest start working with your body to get past the anxiety. After awhile with pain you may have an aversion and involuntarily contracting muscles. Try a couple of things
1. Muscle relaxants ground up in lube and inserted.
2. Valium of other kind of prescription relaxants in lube
3. CBD and THC oil (at a higher level) inserted in your vagina. It can make your genitals stoned but you shouldn’t feel it all over the way you would if you ingested it another way.
Following that you need to come up with a mantra to open up. There were these great cards that the midwives use during labour that have pictures of relaxing and opening things to help focus your mind on opening up your cervix. Mindfulness, self hypnosis, meditation and NLP anchoring can work. There are lots of quick articles about it and can help. So can tapping pressure points. I know it seems a little out there and I’m happy to help (I can do a session in person or by phone/skype) if you need specifics.
There are things you can try. What doesn’t work is sucking it up and hoping it will magically get better. Call me. I’m quick and affordable. And be gentle with yourself.