By Sue McGarvie, and Blaik Spratt, Relationship Therapists, Syndicated Talk Show Hosts, Authors of The Ethical Hedonist radioshrink@rogers.com
When you picture the most romantic place on earth to propose where do you think of? The Eiffel Tower? Moonlight in Venice? We had heard of some typically quaint but corny marriage proposals that include the videotron at hockey games, or the overdone, “ring-on-the-rose-stem” proposal. As die hard romantics who regularly speak at the bridal shows, we are always interested in smart proposal stories. On a recent trip to Couples Swept Away in Negril, Jamaica we saw a succinct, but elegant proposal that combined a warm, windswept Caribbean evening, with a new way to ask for your sweetie’s hand in marriage. For guys, the goal is a memorable, yet idiot-proof proposal that allows her to be moved to tears in private.
Imagine a perfect evening on vacation away from the stresses of life, where you surprise the object of your affection with a private dinner on the beach. Serenaded by saxophone leading two piece band, you have a five course meal served by an unobtrusive waiter. The smell of hibiscus is in the air. As the fruit and dessert plate gets presented, you lift up the cover and carved in the melon centerpiece are the words “Will you marry me?” Creative, unique, and you don’t have to do anything beyond a quick email and a credit card number in setting it up.
Couples Swept Away is a spectacular all-inclusive resort in the middle of Negril’s famous 7 mile beach, and one of the four Couples resorts in Jamaica. They are all adult only resorts, and are known for their emphasis on magical, romantic vacations. Couples is a mixture of wellness and decadence set on one of the best beaches in all the Caribbean. Complete with the requisite white sand, turquoise water, hot weather and starry nights.
There is a top notch athletic facility and spa, along with juice and veggy bars for couples wanting to take care of themselves on vacation. Tennis, swimming, squash, water sports, yoga, aerobics, a serious weight-training gym, and healthy snacks strategically placed in case you need to keep your blood sugar up, Couples Swept Away had the most complete fitness and wellness component of any high end adult resort we’ve ever been to.
The resort as a whole is safe, and open minded. The beach is well patrolled, and very clean. The three other Couples locations all have private nude beaches on property- or in the case of the Couples resorts in Ocho Rios – a completely nude island. Couples Swept Away doesn’t have a nude section, but the Negril beach has been known since the 60’s for tolerance to being topless, so smooching with your sweetie under a beach hut would only be looked at with an indulgent smile by the hotel.
The facilities are truly elegant, beautifully maintained, and what is noticeable about this resort is the serious attention to detail. The ownership is local, and on site, and it shows. From the elegant staff clothing designs, to the unique lobby furnishing – it is evident that the staff and management are paying attention to the little things we often see missing in other resorts. The turned down beds, along with Jamaican expressions printed on small cards on the pillow at bedtime we a lovely touch. A full size compliment of liquors in the in-room bar, flowers in the room, a wrap around porch, and special toiletries are a few examples of extras that are of course, all inclusive. A number of the rooms don’t have a television (in keeping with the romantic “get away from it all” theme), but will leave you a selection of reading material and music to help you connect. And with a strict no-tipping policy, you don’t have to worry about money anytime during your vacation.
Having been to a number of resorts in Jamaica, and being used to the happy, smiling people – Jamaicans are some of the most musical and lyrical people on the planet – we met a number at Couples Swept Away that stood out from anything we had seen anywhere. The employees we absolutely delightful to meet. We conversed with a range of staff from the crossing guard to the receptionist to the general manager at Couples Swept Away. All of them genuinely seemed to feel that “they worked for the best resort in all of Jamaica.” The staff were empowered to make guests happy, and were rewarded for solving a problem with a guest- even if it took them away from their regular duties. The piano bar is famous, and interactive and becomes the place “where everyone quickly learns your name.”
The Couples resort seems to have two major mandates. One is to emphasize romance in all forms, and they work hard to convince you to fall in love, propose, get married, honeymoon and spend your anniversaries there. They take romance seriously. Their goal is to make you feel all that schmushy, lovey, eye-gazing stuff that lovers rarely get a chance to experience between the kids, laundry, and work deadlines. Think rose petals on the beds, chocolate fountains, and spectacular sunsets. Couples is an outstanding place to have one of those simple, yet special beach weddings that save you the thousands of dollars in feeding extended relatives when you get married conventionally at home. So if you are planning on eloping down south to get hitched on the beach, give Couples Swept Away a serious look. Couples Swept Away is also appropriate for anyone else who might come down and share in the nuptials (we met grandparents and crazy brothers-in laws in the wedding party who all seemed happy with the resort). A good mix of decorum for extended family, but not too sleepy or staid if you are hoping for some hopping night life. It isn’t party central like a few of the Negril resorts, but it is five minutes from the infamous Rick’s Café (home of the legendary cliff divers) which is rated as one of the top 10 bars in the world, and always has colorful night life. With a full time department dedicated to weddings, and a large property, we witnessed a number of bridal parties at different times during our stay.
The other goal at Couples is to turn every visitor into a repeat guest. They consistently rank second (behind Hedonism) for the highest recidivism (return) rates in Jamaica. We met people there on this visit who had been to Swept Away over 25 times. As a repeat guest, you get a special shirt, a package of extras at check-in, and an invitation to attend a repeaters dinner with all the staff and management, who make a fuss over you. A separate cocktail party invites the newcomers to a meet and greet, but it is with repeat vacationers, that Couples spends a huge amount of time and attention on.
We had a few experiences that stood out at Couples Swept Away. Many of the other all -inclusives throughout the Caribbean have a sameness about them, but this one is truly five star. Two fabulous restaurants (one Continental, and the other Thai), had meals that rivaled the best a la carte restaurants in French St. Martin, and was the best meal we had on holiday this year. A martini bar, lots of different beach foods including a health hut, fabulous burgers and Jamaican jerk chicken, and a rum punch (that will have you singing in no time) fleshed out the other food and beverage highlights. However, like elsewhere in Jamaica the music blew us away. The evening dinner band included a tight reggae quartet from Kingston that you would have happily paid for. Our favorite moment was at an early morning breakfast buffet at their main restaurant. A duo of acoustic guitarist and cello player strummed up popular songs while we ordered at the smoothie bar. Lincoln the guitar player, smiled and nodded while he played with his cello partner. In very short order most of the restaurant had stopped eating to appreciate the music flowing through these two guys. They were that good. It brought a whole restaurant of people together as we all made eye contact to see if everyone else was as impressed as we were with the live, breakfast music.
Compared to some of the other adult-only resorts we’ve reviewed Couples Swept Away is tame, but they nail their demographic of couples 25-55 who are looking for a safe, upscale romantic vacation. With an emphasis on health, the resort has almost a “clean cut” feel to it -the wholesome side of adult-only vacations. Try as we might (and we did look for faults), we really had no complaints with our stay. All the guests we spoke to raved about it, and we were sad to leave. With a tremendous occupancy rate (Couples Negril, five minutes down the road couldn’t show us a sample room as they were at 100% occupied for the next five weeks) despite difficult economic times. Couple’s guests come primarily from the United States, Canada, Britain, Germany and Italy, and were mainly in their 30’s and 40’s. With a 40% return rate, this resort seems almost recession proof, and is a testament to their great service, food, location and facilities. Expect to pay USD $4000 a couple per week (although there are some deals to be had on off weeks online), but everything from catamaran trips and 10 minute beach massages were free. So other than golf (also included) or the full spa services, (the spa was in a beautiful building, and did a brisk business with brides and couples massages) you should have no need to go off property or pay for anything else on your romantic week. Couples Swept Away is the relaxing, romantic, effortless, wonderful Caribbean honeymoon vacation (no matter if you are newly-wed, renewing your vows, or just checking in with eachother.) It recharges anybody’s relationship.
It’s not just that we’ve had 17 feet of snow this winter in my part of Canada , that has me wishing I could emigrate to Mexico . I have fallen in love with the lifestyle, and culture of our southern neighbors. The Mexico I experienced, was absolute paradise. Los Cabos Mexico, where I spent a week in March this year, is home to the most charming Latino waiters, almost perfect weather, the world’s yummiest coconut ice cream, and now arguably the best couples resort in the world. Move over Hedonism, the new Desire Resorts has got serious game.
Los Cabos Mexico , which bills itself as a place of guaranteed sunshine, (only six days of rain all of last year), is located on the tip of the Baja, where the sea of Cortez meets the Pacific Ocean . It’s a thousand miles of desert, along Mexico’s west coast, Los Cabos has come into it’s own due to a spectacular coastline and the advent of desalination, and with bevy of fresh water out of the sea that has turned desolate scrub brush into an oasis. This is where the wealthy Californian’s come to vacation (typical real estate prices for a vacation property is over a US million). And at the Desire Resort, it is where the sexually adventurous come to explore the romantic and erotic side to their relationship.
Desire Los Cabos, is similar to Desire Cancun in many ways. An exclusive, couple-only, clothing optional, all inclusive hotel, with a boutique resort feel, with a maximum capacity of 150 rooms. Desire comes with complete privacy and serious security. It’s the honeymoon of decadence and sensuality that you may have always wanted. I find that like with any nude place, the minute you take your clothes off, your inhibitions go as well. That means fellow guests are open, and conversation and friendships start easily all over the resort. However unlike with a typical nude or clothing optional resort, (like the Caliente resorts where PDA’s –public displays of affection- can get you kicked out), there are places where you can be overtly sexual with your (or possibly someone else’s) partner. It is more centrally located than in Cancun, (in the zone tourista, as opposed to Cancun which is way, way off the beaten path). This means there is no nudity on the more public beach, (too bad, as the Desire Cancun beach beds are one of life’s great pleasures). It also means swimming in the ocean is out (the flags read FATAL due to the undertow), but provided you wore a bathing suit, the beach was a delight to walk. With no beach activities, it meant that everyone congregated in the rooftop hot tub, and heated, extra-large, central swimming pool. This central congregation meant it was easier to meet everyone staying in the resort on a first name basis.
This also meant you had less of the “gilded cage” feel, as you could easily walk to shopping, restaurants and leave the resort if you needed a change of scenery. So if you are social, and a perfect holiday is having everyone know your name and making friends, the west coast Desire may be a better fit for you, than the isolated, and spread out Cancun Desire. Overall I thought the food was good, (I hugged Antonio, my evening grill chef who made something he specially concocted just for me every night), and I loved the live music played outside between dinner and dance club opening outside on the mezzanine.
They’ve set the lay out well, so that sexual interaction happens only on the secluded hot tub area, or in the playroom in the dance club. Which means that if you choose not to watch the sex going on, (although who’s kidding, everyone is curious to see if their pool buddies are doing anything more interesting than they do), you can completely avoid that section. So with sex only going on in very specific places, you can otherwise treat it like any other first class resort except that a good 60% of the guests are in various stages of undress.
This is the place where you can be nude (or not), overtly sexual with your partner (or not), and meet other couples for friendship or more. Or you can stay to yourself, and honeymoon in an erotic environment. As Sylvia the Guest Services manager said “The experience at Desire is strictly what you make of it”. So Desire can be called sensuously discreet. It’s there if you want it, but sex is done with ease and elegance. I would say that only about 25% of the guests (in my humble estimation) were in the “swinging” or lifestyle play. Some people were direct in their approach that they were looking for an exchange, but most were just having their partner only eroticism. What surprised me was how many “first-timers” there were, who had never even been to a nude beach before. There was a large group of people who booked off Expedia looking for a vacancy, and although seemed surprised at how sexually open the place was, very quickly dropped the laundry and joined in on the semi-clothed frolicking. When in Rome … seemed to be the philosophy, and the comfortable atmosphere relaxed even the most prudish. I watched a Catholic, grade 1 teacher go from cover-ups, to commando, to sex in public with her husband, over a three day period. Desire has a minimum age of 25 posted on their website, and the age ranged from mid to late 20’s, with the bulk of the guests between 30 and 50. Certainly a 60 year old plus couple wouldn’t be out of place, but most of the bodies were better than average, and a majority had been enhanced. The crowd was affluent, well-preserved, and well-groomed, (with more than their share of silicone and botox).
The Los Cabos is less crowded than the always booked Cancun location (114 rooms), but my guess is that it will be as equally difficult to get a room over the next year as word gets out. During the high point of the regular travel season (March break, where every other resort was fully booked), Desire Los Cabos was at only 35% capacity. This isn’t a place you bring your kids, and around family holidays, the Desire resorts are slower. Times that are typically not “family holiday time”, you’ll find the parents have pawned off the kids and are engaging in the sensuous adult play that a trip to Desire offers. As an example, May, a warm month up north is 100% booked at Desire Los Cabos, when there are vacancies everywhere else.
A couple of things you may want to take note of when packing for Desire. With guaranteed sunshine, and predominate nudity, we went through far less clothes than anticipated. Although day time clothing needs can be put into a toiletry bag, most women dressed elegantly for cocktails, dinner and after dinner drinks, and for the disco party, every night is theme night. So my suggestion is bring a big suite case full of erotic costumes to be creatively silly. It is hot and sexually charged at the disco. Themes included Rodeo-cowboy, naughty school yard, pink, red, and black and white nights, jungle, along with emergency (fireman, nurse). Cancun had similar (but different themes), and it was an adult dress up, with a smile. You should also know that Desire has a camera verboten policy, so you won’t end up in someone else’s pictures naked. However, you may need to plan a day trip if you need pictures to take back to the kids because you can’t otherwise take photos.
Despite what a good job Desire is doing running its resort, it wasn’t perfect. The highlight was the staff and service. I can honestly say that I’ve never met a more gracious, more accommodating staff anywhere in the world. They learned your names from the get go, and made a point to make everyone feel special.
The food however, was a bit inconsistent at times. We had the best steak we’ve ever eaten on holidays, as well as the worst steak, only a day apart. I thought there could have been a more rounded out room service menu, and the pool lunch food was repetitive as the only option to eat. They had great bartenders however. I was very surprised as a therapist, (you would think even for strictly liability reasons), there wasn’t condoms in the playroom and hot tub areas. I also wished that the disco should open earlier for those of us who turn into a pumpkin after midnight.
Most significantly, I also felt that there was a real thirst for information on what is the erotic lifestyle, and there was a need for clear, non-judgmental facts about what full swing, lifestyle play, group massage, bisexual swap meant to the new attendees. Having tourists books in each rooms were helpful, but those weren’t the questions it took five margherita’s, and a week of beating around the bush to ask. Everyone it seemed, was looking for information on “how do you spice up your relationship with group play without messing up what you have”, or just “how do you keep it hot after years together?” Desire seems to be marketing to the large middle group that one guest described as “Empty Nesters gone wild”, who are curious, open, but very tentative in trying out any kind of extra marital play. Not the serious swingers who are open to anything and everything, but more than the romance marketed by conventional couples resorts. With a few minor changes (better training of their activity staff, more ice breakers, and delicately written information packages), the Desire resorts will be the premiere location for sensuous couples world-wide. Book your holiday soon, because as they make the final adjustments, they will continue to be sold out year round.
Picture credits:
www.desireloscabos.com, www.desirecancun.com
It rained in Los Cabos while we were there early in 2009. We mention this because while rain is not so unusual elsewhere, however in the desert of Los Cabos Mexico, on the end of the Baja peninsula (with a 1000 more miles of desert to the north) it only rains less than 10 days a year. Everyone apologized for the one afternoon of bad weather, and even at 23 degrees Celsius, we saw local Mexicans bundled up in parkas as we walked down the beach in our bathing suits. The cacti bloomed, plants sprouted, hummingbirds flew, and the staff scurried to take the mattresses inside. Otherwise, you can expect bright, blue skies, along with amazing sunsets and sunrises guaranteed. You need to slather on the sunscreen – the UV rays aren’t to be taken lightly), and expect low to mid 20’s during the winter day (70’s Fahrenheit) and a few degrees cooler and windier at night. The spring, summer and fall temperatures, and brilliant sunny days only go up from there. Los Cabos is an upscale “ Palm Springs type Mexico” destination (as opposed to Cancun, or “Disney Mexico” where the other Temptations resort is located). Los Cabos is where the wealthy and sexy go to play, and the lowest priced real estate advertised is only a mere million USD for a bachelor condo. Temptations Los Cabos is in keeping with this elegant, fashionable holiday with both luxury and playtimes as part of their vision for this particular resort.
Having been huge fans of the Los Cabos Desire resort before it morphed into a Desire Lite” or the new Temptations Los Cabos, (which happened in February of 2009), we weren’t sure how the changes were going to effect this unique resort concept. Desire Resort is a couples-only, clothing-optional, public sexuality accepting, exclusive adult play vacation destination, and runs close to 100% occupancy in their expanding Cancun location. Desire has been Hedonism’s main competitor, only more up-market and without the single men hovering around. Desire, where you can be nude all day (nudity is accepted everywhere but in the restaurants) has changed to Temptations (at the Los Cabos location only) in response to a new behemoth of a hotel being built next door. We watched the construction workers take their breaks gawking at the naked women sunbathing or frolicking in the hot tub just before the Temptations take over. Most of the hot tub participants mooned and waived (we were afraid more than one of the workers might fall off the upper levels of the construction project when one 30 year old beauty did naked yoga). So in order to guarantee the privacy of their nude guests from leering patrons with telescopic cameras, Desire has become Temptations and has toned the nudity and sexuality way down. Compared to Temptations Cancun (read our review), Los Cabos is expected to be a much more up-market saucy escape as opposed to the “anything goes” aspect of Desire. Maybe it should be re-branded as something other than Temptations (Indulge? Sinful?) as this resort will take on a life of its own – a little bit of the original Temptations, a little bit of the previous Desire and become something new entirely. The plan for Temptation Los Cabos is to keep as much of the sensuality of Desire- without the overt sexual play. In Temptations Cancun, (we were there late in the fall of 2008), guests were primarily singles and some couples, primarily under 30. A little older than the typical Spring Break crowd, but singles in their 20’s ruled the pools in Cancun, and were bused out nightly to the hopping clubs on the Cancun strip. It felt like party central for the recently graduated college crowd. Temptations Los Cabos is insisting that it will be almost exclusively couples (with maybe small groups of single women). Desire had a minimum age of 25 posted on their website, and the age before the February 2009 change over to Temptations started from late 20’s, with the bulk of the guests between 30 and 50. Certainly a 60 year old plus couple wouldn’t have been out of place. Most of the bodies were better than average, and a large proportion had been surgically enhanced. The crowd was affluent, well-preserved, and well-groomed. The new crowd at Temptations will probably settle as more of an early 30’s crowd, primarily from the west coast of Canada and the United States It will be interesting if the 30% Latin visitors increase with the new change over from Desire to Temptations.
The hotel bas made an effort to keep the couples only aspect by having only one king size bed available in all of their rooms. This means that you won’t get the hoards of single men that flock to Temptations Cancun as they fill up a quad room (four single beds to a room and all-night drinking parties). Single men certainly change the dynamic of a resort, and have kept many couples from trying Hedonism for the first time. Single women may share a king size bed, but the single men in attendance would need to pay alone for the double occupancy. According to Silvia McNamara the Guest Services Manager, the other aspect in Los Cabos that doesn’t happen at Temptations Cancun is that they are covering the Jacuzzi lounge, (huge, swim up bar and hot tub) and keeping it clothing optional. Temptations Cancun has a few whirlpools alongside their pools (and the same temperature as the swimming water). Original resorts – the ownership group of Temptations and Desire are trying hard to keep their market share in the adult only resort destination. For guests lamenting the loss of the Desire concept in Los Cabos, management has made a deal with the neighboring hotel to clear out any potential gawkers for four weeks this year, and six weeks next year to have Desire “let’s get nude again” take over weeks at the lowest occupancy times during the year. These weeks are your chance to re-kindle friendships and be naked in guaranteed great weather once more.
So what’s changed now that it’s Temptations instead of Desire? The Desire “voyeuristic beds are gone” (where you could watch all the sex going on, or indulge in all your exhibitionist fantasies), and are to be replaced with more privately screened “cocoons” lounges beside the hot tub. The Jacuzzi is still open to 3 am with a private bartender, and is even more hidden. Expect it to get more than a little flirty later in the evening, with sexy noises coming from those covered lounges, but the relaxed open, sex that happened daily at Desire will be gone. This is very different from the Cancun Temptations, which has you sign a waiver at check in that will have you tossed out if there are any public displays of sexuality. Even as Desire, the guests were respectful of your privacy and space, with less than 30% in the “swinging” or Lifestyle movement. Most of the couples were just hoping for re-connecting romance from their partner, and the opportunity to pick up the sexual charge from their surrounding environment.
However if even the possibility of hearing sex might offend you, then you don’t ever need to go up top to the hot tub. Around the pool has changed to topless only, and while they still have sexy games the activity staff put on, just anticipate that the overall tone will be slightly subdued from the past. The flirty tequila water volleyball will still happen, dirty darts, and sexual trivia will still be engaged mid afternoons around the pool. The activity staff are fun, and good humored (a little too competitive on the volleyball court playing with out of shape tourists who had been drinking), but for the most part they offered lively and fun games as an alternative to those just wanting to bask in the rays and do nothing more strenuous than sit up to give their drink orders. The themed costume nights are dropped in the disco, (no more jungle or cowboy nights) and the playroom has been dismantled. They are also opening the disco up to locals and other resort guests in Los Cabos to come in for an evening of dance. It will be interesting to see if there are any takers in making the disco more vibrant due to outside influence and if there are any curiosity seekers willing to visit from outside the resort. Our big complaint about the resort is how late it is before the evening activities begin. With the hot tub opening at 3 pm, most of the guests make their way up for “happy hour” from 4 to 6 pm (we were pruny, overly heated, and had our fill of the strong drinks within an hour), the hot tub is a great place to socialize, but the pool bar shuts down and everyone doesn’t congregate again until 10 or 10:30 when the karaoke, live entertainment or outside fashion show gets started. Dinner never took longer than an hour, so we ended up back in our rooms after dinner, and most of the time couldn’t re-motivate to go back out after 10 pm. The disco doesn’t get hopping until after midnight, and with such spectacular weather you want to be able to be up with the sun.
The drop in price point from Desire of the posted rate of $300 a night, (there are deals to be had online if you are flexible on your travel weeks) and Temptations is at half of that. This means the menu has been simplified and Temptations is only offering the less costly options of food. Our favorite smoked salmon has been taken off the breakfast menu, and the food went from being good to merely mediocre. The poolside lunch buffet (the only food option during the day) had a daily sameness about it that became very unappetizing after a week. They have also dropped their 24 hour room service menu (now only breakfast is available as room service) although there is food and drink always available somewhere on the premises if you are hungry at 4 am and want to wander the grounds and find it. The resort is incredibly safe not to worry for even late night wanderings- fenced in with a security presence, and they have added extra security given the new night passes available. The nice thing about the location is the easy access to taxis and the town of San Jose del Cabos.
The facilities are beautiful – immaculately maintained and with loads of hot towels available everywhere. The beauty of the desert landscape and sand dunes leading out into the Pacific Ocean is every bit as nice as any resort in Los Cabos. There are no water sports and no swimming in the ocean given the lethal undertow and rip tide present. The swimming condition sign always flies black and there is absolutely no swimming in the ocean in front of the resort. There are public beaches down the road however. A real disadvantage if you like to swim in the coolish ocean – but an advantage if you like to meet people as everyone congregates around the heated swimming pool. This central congregation meant it was easier to meet everyone staying in the resort on a first name basis. The beach is great to walk, safe (provided you don’t venture more than ankle deep in the water), and we enjoyed watching the pelicans and other sea birds diving for fish right off the crashing waves. We watched whales breeching a little further offshore. Temptations is a small boutique hotel (150 rooms), and looks especially tiny compared to the mammoth Hilton’s and Riu hotels that grace the hotel strip in the twin cities of Cabos San Lucas and San Jose del Cabos where Temptations is located.
There is talk that Original Resorts (a small, four resort, family owned business, based in Mexico) is on the prowl for the prefect location for another Desire location. We can only hope. Now with only one Desire resort, there is a huge market for choice in the sexually charged adult resort business. The occupancy in Los Cabos is expected to increase given the lower price point, and it is still one of the few adult-only vacation options, and one of the few marketing sensuality. The challenge for Los Cabos Temptations in getting their guests numbers up in comparison to Cancun’s location is that Los Cabos can be difficult to get to. With daily flights running only from Dallas/Forth Worth, Phoenix and Los Angeles, the entire mid-west, and northern US and Canadian markets are largely inconvenienced to get to this desert paradise. We took an Air Canada Vacations flight from Toronto that flew once a week, and was $500 more expensive (and three hours longer) than the daily flights direct to Cancun.
Like any new change there were some bugs to be worked out. The resort will have a Desire feel for many months as they implement the complete change to Temptations. They had already geared the staff up for the handover with the new menus even during the Desire days in late 2008. By day four of our visit we were tired of the reduced choices on the menu. The dining alone will keep the age of guests down, and the possibility exists of grabbing a cab and taking in one of the restaurants that are no more than 15 minutes away from Temptations downtown location. There is a shopping center right across the street, and although the area is small, it is worth an afternoon bus ride to see the beauty of the buildings and the starkness of the surrounding desert. This also meant you had less of the “gilded cage” feel, as you could easily walk to new scenery (or to visit the local pub to watch a sports game) and leave the resort if you needed a change of scenery.
It will be interesting to watch how Temptations walks the line between flirty and sex and appeals to that huge middle group of 30 plus couples looking for a sensuous – but safe- adventure that spices up their relationship without leaving a bad taste in your mouth. We felt that the Desire concept was great if you had communicated as a couple about your limits, and were looking for a naked paradise with like-minded people for an escape. We thought Temptations Cancun was best suited for the under 30 single crowd. There is much to be said about vacations that don’t have unsupervised children splashing and spoiling an afternoon at the poolside. Maybe Temptations Los Cabos will be the half way point and be a better choice in adult only vacation than a Sandals or Breezes resort because it offers a sensuality to an open-minded culture looking to be (if only ever-so slightly) naughty.
www.sexwithsue.com, www.azulik.com
Eco Mexico- Earth Day article
By Sue McGarvie and Blaik Spratt, Clinical Relationship Therapists, Travel Journalists
As the planet celebrates Earth Day we went looking for examples of Green Mexico during a recent eco-minded trip to Tulum. Known as the “eco coast”, Tulum is home to a few large resorts and many small, six to 20 room boutique hotels. It is an area of authentic Mexican feel, lots more wilderness, and a bohemian, Jimmy Buffet laid back lifestyle. Many of the Tulum resorts have an emphasis on being green. Driven by the close proximity to the Mayan reservation and the indigenous “spirit led” Mayan Shamans, there is a movement afoot to respect the land. Tulum is in the heart of Mayan (or native Mexican) country.
This part of the
There are iguanas on your deck, and gekkos in your room. The pelicans, ospreys and other large sea faring birds cast shadows over the patio canopy beds all day. We were woken up by spider monkeys on the thatch roof along with the nocturnal Kinkajou (a monkey-like mammal). Dolphins are known to swim up and down the coast, and crocodiles are common in the neighbouring mangrove swamps.
Eco Tulum has now introduced a recycling program and had separate recycling boxes out for batteries. And you needed to bring batteries. The downside of rooms with no power is that you had to set up your candles in advance of going for dinner otherwise you returned to pioneer-like blackness. It is a way to get in touch with your circadian rhythm (we were in bed by 9 pm and up with the sun). We found the candle light too dim to read by, and would strongly recommend packing flashlights or head lamps for walking. The wind blows constantly from the sea, and the waves ranged from gentle to spectacular during the week long visit. With Tulum’s wild coastline, it would be an astounding place to be in a mild storm.
One of the most notable things about a movement to more eco understanding in the
The
In keeping with the eco-theme of this trip, we opted to go on the highly recommended Sian Ka’an community tour. This tour absolutely made our trip. Sian Ka’an is a protected natural reserve of 630,000 hectares that crosses traditional Mayan land and is now a UNESCO heritage site as well as a wildlife reserve. Sian Ka’an Community Tours is an international success story. Many Mayan’s had been living in “reservation-like” communities in the jungle without a source of income. Many Mayans didn’t speak Spanish (only their local Mayan dialect), and despite vast knowledge of the jungle and various biospheres, they were just eeking out an existence. With the aid of a couple of non-profit NGO’s (including Equator Initiatives) that help indigenous peoples with sustainable development, the Mayan community near the Sian Ka’an reserve got together and started a business giving tours. They did intensive training in English, and business management. All of the money from this low cost tour ($99 per person including lunch, snacks, park fees, and transportation) stayed locally. It was a great education and we left feeling like we contributed to the local community.
Our seven hour tour included a guided hike through secluded jungle ruins. It followed with an adventure into an underground Mayan passageway built in 300 BC (where we got up close and personal with some fruit bats). We then went into the jungle on the Mayan reservation where we tasted edible roots, smelled copal bark, and burned dead termite mounds as a bug repellent. We climbed a 17 meter tower to observe all eight biospheres in the park before jumping into boats to re-enact a 1000 year old trade route crossing across two crystal clear lakes. After lunch we did a river float along a natural passageway through the grass savannah. We floated peacefully four kilometers an hour for a few kilometers at the edge of the mangrove trees- nursery to millions of baby fish. During our section of the river we saw vultures, a variety of multi-coloured song birds, and countless tropical fish. We ended the day with a snorkeling trip to a nearby cenote with an opportunity to hand feed schools of fish.
The final piece to our eco holiday came in a unexpected place as we made our way back up the coast to
Our eco holiday was affordable, personal, and left us feeling healthy (actually down a pound or two given the exercise and fresh foods). It was also a feel good story as we left
Club Fantastico,
If you would like to try a safe, fun and slightly exotic walk on the wilder side of life, Club Fantastico may be right for you. Club Fantastico is the perfect spot to visit if you are looking to take your clothes off in public for the first time. So many people are curious about social nudity, but are intimidated about going to a big clothing optional resort. Club Fantastico is the right size for a gentle foray into an au naturel vacation. With an outstanding view of the
Located on the French side of the half French – half Dutch
What makes Club Fantastico such an accepting place is the amazing management team. The happily married Mike and Peggy have been running Club Fantastico for the last three years after being involved with nude resorts all over the world. The welcome when we arrived was warm and heartfelt. It was very much the feeling of coming home. We had a hug and a cold drink from our hosts, despite having never met Mike and Peggy before, and an enthusiastic wiggle from the small house dog, a Yorkie named Mr. Bones. Given the social aspect of the spacious inn, you find yourself sitting and chatting with other guests in the comfortable rattan chairs. Nudists are a friendly lot. We also got to know our fellow guests through soaks in the hot tub and shared delicious French breakfast sitting around the pool. Breakfast, all drinks, and snacks are included with your stay. Every week, Mike and Peggy organize a group dinner outing to the nearby
Besides the home like atmosphere and the safe nudity, Club Fantasico also allows a “honeymoon atmosphere” if you are looking for a romantic get away holiday. The premier rooms have their own wrap around porches with a great view of the ocean. Complete with outdoor showers, they are private enough to block out the world, while open enough not to feel like you are spending the week inside.
It is easy to stay on the property and enjoy the pool or you can venture to nearby
Did we mention the food already? Even the food served at the many beach-side restaurants will have your mouth watering. For the more romantic, any one of the many local corner stores will have fresh baguette, cheese , fruit and a fine bottle of French wine for sale rather inexpensively if you want to picnic on the beach. Most people rent a car on
We’ve been to many beautiful spots in the
Our Top Nine Adult-only Resorts in the
By Sue McGarvie and Blaik Spratt
Clinical Relationship Therapists, Romance Travel Writers
January in
So where are the best places to go to get the couples-only adult vacation you are fantasizing about? In keeping with this new research, we’ve come up with the top nine of our most recommended adult-only destinations (from tame to spicy). Prices for these destinations vary from $1,000 – $10,000 per person per week (air fare included). There are various travel groups that go to some of these destinations in large numbers and get great deals. We recommend you research the destination and use the links to the travel groups that frequent them.
The rooms (or sanctuaries as they are called) are self contained units that come with everything you need to relax (no television, phone or radio). The sanctuary does have its own tranquil infinity pool in the three sided rooms which means you have the best of living both inside and outside for your entire stay. (authors note: The sanctuaries are rectangular with no outside wall. That means open air in all the rooms, dining and common areas. It is a very different concept, and one of the few places in the world that has limited bugs, very few mountainous creepy or slithering things, warm weather, offers reasonable shelter from hurricanes and tropical storms and is relatively crime-free and difficult to access along the mountain-side. Think tropical camping with decadent comfort and push of a button service. The sanctuaries really do have to be seen to be believed.)
As therapists, we’ve long believed that adventure leads to connection within a relationship. Anything that gets your adrenaline pumping together will bond you as a couple. One of the driving reasons to visit
With all of these amenities,
Couples,
Couples Swept Away is a spectacular all-inclusive resort in the middle of Negril’s famous 7-mile beach, and is one of the four Couples resorts in
Couples is traditional but open-minded. Three of the Couples locations have private nude beaches on property- or in the case of the Couples resort at Ocho Rios – a completely nude island. Couples Swept Away doesn’t have a nude section, but the Negril beach has been known since the 60’s for tolerance to being topless.
The Couples resorts seem to have a mandate to emphasize romance in all forms, and they work hard to convince you to fall in love, propose, get married, honeymoon and spend your anniversaries there. They take romance seriously. Their goal is to make you feel all that eye-gazing, pit of the stomach stuff that lovers rarely get a chance to experience between the kids, laundry and work deadlines. Think rose petals on the beds, chocolate fountains, and spectacular sunsets.
Ladera Resort in
Breezes Grand
There are nine Breezes resorts as part of the Superclubs group. We liked the Grand Negril resort best as it is on one of the top beaches in the world. The resort reminded us of a stereotypical grand southern lady; well appointed, gracious, classic, and understated. It is a more traditional resort. Think quiet refinement of the grounds, sumptuous food, and sophistication of the other guests.
Given the polish that is Breezes Grand Negril, (classic and elegance really are the words we would use to describe it) what’s really interesting about Breezes is its slightly flirty feel. Between the oversized drinks, the activity staff that greet you with a wink and a smile, and the fact that some of the beach is clothing optional, Breezes feels decidedly grown up. Many guests we met had started on the huge regular beach, and had migrated to taking off their wet, sandy and uncomfortable suits over the years. We often say that taking your bathing suit off is the second hardest thing you’ll do on vacation. The hardest thing is putting it back on. The resort didn’t have a sexual feel, just a relaxed openness about it that was nonchalant and accepting. Many had made great friends there over the years as clothing optional bars, pools and hot tubs lend themselves well to starting conversations with strangers. Nudity really does lend itself to openness.
Breezes Grand Negril is set on a spectacular coastline. The turquoise water that stays shallow for a good distance offers world-class snorkeling right off the beach, which can be hard to find at a resort of Breezes quality. We saw hundreds of multi-colored fish, rays, beautiful fan coral, and even an octopus within sight of the resort. Elegant, with a spectacular beach, and serene would best describe the Breezes Grand Negril.
.
Temptations, Los Cabos
Like their names, both of the Temptations resorts are the riskier, saucier version of the larger, more family oriented resorts along the infamous strip in Cancun and the tourist area of
Club Fantastico,
If you would like to try a safe, fun and slightly exotic walk on the wilder side of life, Club Fantastico may be right for you. Located on the French side of the half French – half Dutch
Forget what you’ve read about Hedo in Playboy, or the myth of it being a sexually aggressive place. The words we would use to describe the two Hedonism resorts are silly, zany, relaxing, casual, outrageous, sensual, saucy and friendly. Clearly, some of the legends are no more than wishful thinking. Nobody jumps you, and it isn’t a place to go trolling for sex. You would probably have more luck at a nightclub. However, Hedonism is still home for an open-minded and adventurous crowd who are very comfortable in their own skins (with or without clothes). And in the wee hours of the morning at the nude pool, there is social interaction for those seeking it. It should also be noted that different groups (including lifestyle groups) take over large portions of the resort during set weeks of the year. You should check online to see who will be there before you book.
There are two large resorts, the 28 year old Hedo ll in Negril (we were there during their anniversary week the end of October), and the newer, nine year old Hedo lll in Runaway Bay, about three hours drive apart from each other. They have almost the same amenities, and similar cliental. They both have a 40% return of guests (unheard of loyalty for a resort, so those who love it, love it again and again), but if you have guests returning for over 28 years, they tend to now be in the 45 to 65 age group. Going to Hedonism was the closest thing we’ve experienced as an adult to re-creating that community feel of laugh-out-loud fun of camp. Only instead of mystery meat in the dining hall, and outhouses with flashlights, Hedonism offers spectacular sunsets, unlimited perfect banana daiquiri’s, hot tubs, cabaret shows, and sensuous spa massages.
Desire Resort,
Described as an elegant and exclusive, clothing-optional, couples-only resort, Desire is an adult-only, 114 room secluded resort somewhat off the beaten path. It’s what we call sensuously open, but more upscale than the party atmosphere of Hedonism. The resort is situated on a strip of
Desire is clothing optional, as opposed to nude meaning that bathing suits are seen, but the majority of the couples were either nude or topless throughout the day. They had typical resort games such as water polo and beach volleyball taking place, (nude volleyball is always an interesting eyeful) along with far more sexual ones such as the chocolate eating contest (where two couples compete to see who can drizzle and eat the most chocolate and whipped cream off their partners). Nobody was pressured to participate. The tone was entertaining and playful during the day, rather than sexual, and the evening theme was more erotic, rather than smacking of blatant sex. The activity staff was relaxed, but enthusiastic and did their best to be inclusive of everyone interested in participating, and respectful of those who wanted to read quietly, or simply lounge on the beach,
But it is one of the very few places that tolerate what we call upscale sexual encounters done with taste.
On the whole Desire really is what you make it. Elegant, upscale, quietly naked and romantic, or with late night happenings, disco dancing, and hut tubbing along with 50 new friends and sexual adventures under the stars.
Coconut
By Sue McGarvie and Blaik Spratt
Clinical Relationship Therapists, Romance Travel Writers
We’ve both had a few friends who decided to skip the big production and head down south to get married. No seating arrangements to organize, no huge expense of feeding extended relations, and no church ceremony for couples who have rarely darkened a church door. Getting married in a simple ceremony on a beach (whether you elope or drag immediate family down with you) has the advantage of having your honeymoon start immediately. As well, you can enjoy the breathtaking view of turquoise water, lush vegetation, and a sunset of pinks and purples that beat any kind of man-made decorations.
Most resorts in the
We found that The Coconut Bay Resort and Spa in
On the opposite side of
Harmony is also where the large wedding gazebo is located. The gazebo has a nearby reception hall that can seat 60 people for dinner, along with a dance floor to host a good-sized reception if you come with an entourage. It is secluded and the resort does an excellent job in keeping the wedding private. However, for couples who want even more privacy during their vows, the resort is building a second wedding location at the
So if you’ve been too busy to plan the nuptials and are trying to find a tropical wedding location where you can bring everyone down easily (including the kids), consider
Love and Architecture at Jade Mountain
Jade Mountain is a love story.
It’s the blending of the love of St. Lucia’s famed Piton volcanic mountains and one of the most breathtaking views in the Caribbean. It’s the love story of how Nick Troubetzkoy, a Canadian trained architect created his vision for a five star resort and destination spa on the west coast of St. Lucia at Soufriere. It’s also a love story for most of the couples and honeymooners who visit. Jade Mountain is a one-of –a-kind resort. Partnered with its sister resort Anse Chastanet, we discovered that it’s about beauty, nature, modern art, and a blending of architecture into jaw dropping scenery. All this with truly exceptional gourmet food and service, Jade Mountain propels relaxation to the highest level in an adult only resort. It’s got world class food, a clothing optional private space and top end service.
The quality of the food at Jade Mountain can’t be over emphasized. The resort boasts an American Academy of Hospitality Sciences five star rating for food and service. Much of the organic produce is grown on the owner’s surrounding 600 acre plantation including mangoes, spices, and chocolate used in their so named Caribbean culinary festivals. We had homemade rum and raisin ice cream that instantly became a lifetime favorite. By day two the staff had an understanding of our food and beverage preferences, and was suggesting a favorite tea. With English Butler Academy trained butlers (they call them major-domos) at your service to fulfill any need, the attention to detail was superb. The Guild of English Butlers means that these professional hoteliers can unpack for you, arrange for your favorite foods at preferred tables, acquire hard to find items, and aid in travel arrangements. They are available 24/7 with the push of a button on your firefly, a small little cell phone that you are given for the duration of your stay and which contacts the front desk or your butler instantly.
The rooms are called sanctuaries for a reason. They are huge, offering a fantastic view of the two famed Pitons (or mountains). The Pitons are the two volcanoes that UNESCO has deemed a world heritage site, and are bordered with a lush canopy of rain forest. St. Lucia is awash in color, even during the dormant season when we were there. The turquoise of the Sea, the silver of the volcanic sand, a rainbow of flowers, and the most beautiful multi-colored hummingbirds along with the spectacular St. Lucian parrot can best be described as a feast for the eyes.
Most of St. Lucia is mountainous and covered in rain forest. The whole island is only 29 miles long, but you can expect driving the length of it to take over two hours. The roads are switch back and a bit of a roller coaster ride- especially along the east side of the island. Bring your Gravol or other travel-sickness medication if you are driving around the island much. We read one report that suggested that “St. Lucia allows you to get in touch with your calf muscles” which we found to be oh, so true. Almost everything in St. Lucia is uphill or downhill (and it seemed more uphill to us), and everyone is expected to climb flights of stairs. Meals at Jade Mountain meant that we had to climb 10 flights of stairs to get to the dining area, with no elevator option. Fortunately, the food would motivate anyone to climb. If you are mobility challenged, you can request an upper room, but it is a resort on a hill and the lay-out of the resort requires a level of fitness to in order move around easily.
The rooms (or sanctuaries as they are called) are self contained units that come with everything you need to relax (no television, phone or radio). The sanctuary does have its own tranquil infinity pool in the three sided rooms which means you have the best of living both inside and outside for your entire stay. (authors note: The sanctuaries are rectangular with no outside wall. That means open air in all the rooms, dining and common areas. It is a very different concept, and one of the few places in the world that has limited bugs, very few mountainous creepy or slithering things, warm weather, offers reasonable shelter from hurricanes and tropical storms and is relatively crime-free and difficult to access along the mountain-side. Think tropical camping with decadent comfort and push of a button service. The sanctuaries really do have to be seen to be believed.)
The full 29 rooms were occupied during our visit, but the place seemed empty, with everyone living in their villa-like sanctuaries or taking in one of the adventure excursions. With a majority of people able to do anything from sunbath, partake in gourmet room service, swim, and relax completely undisturbed for the entire time while never leaving their rooms, the sanctuaries offer absolute privacy for couples wanting to get away from it all. Jade Mountain really is romance personified. The small touches are well thought out. There was local poetry on the pillow (St. Lucia boasts the highest percentage of Nobel Lauriat’s per capita on the planet) and live guitar music at dinner. The owner’s cocktail party and the sunset cruises added to the ambiance.
As therapists, we’ve long believed that adventure leads to connection within a relationship. Anything that gets your adrenaline pumping together will bond you as a couple. One of the driving reasons to visit Jade Mountain is the duality it offers. At Jade Mountain there is the aforementioned complete tranquility of the sanctuaries, as well as the opportunity to take in couple adventures off the resort. We went zip lining, and during that tour had a quick lesson in the growing of bananas, bay leaves and cinnamon. We checked out the historic town of Soufriere. Other adventure couples took in the whale watching, rum tours, volcano hiking, and ocean kayaking. The honeymooners we spoke to were just happy to be together and uninterrupted. Many were on the joint honeymoon package with a half-and-half stay at Jade Mountain and Anse Chastanet (where there was more beach living and marine life). Jade Mountain offers a shuttle service that can take you up and down to the beach that is situated on the edge of a protected marine area. A number of beach bars and restaurants are included on your Jade Mountain meal plan at the beach level Anse Chastanet resort so you only have to make the strenuous hike (or not-so- strenuous short car ride up the hill) once per day. 
Jade Mountain is well on its way to becoming a complete destination-spa resort as well. Between a full menu of organic, low fat foods and a holistic health professional spa director with a well-trained staff (including a former US Navy fitness instructor), you can heal the body as well as the mind. And as mentioned, you have easy access to the famed volcanic hot springs and mineral baths which have been espoused to cure everything from arthritis to intestinal disorders. With all this emphasis on health (and all of the stairs to climb), you can avoid the five pounds of holiday bulge from too many umbrella drinks. You actually may return leaner than when you left without feeling like you’ve missed out on amazing food. It will be worth watching Jade Mountain’s evolution into a new level of spa and health centre.
Jade Mountain, while spectacular, is priced outside of normal vacation budgets, and lends itself well to short “get-aways” or long weekends. We traveled lightly and were able to get on and off the island over three days. We met a Miami physician and a New York lawyer who loved how they could arrive easily and leave without once hearing a telephone. It is perfect for intimate honeymooners, or couples wanting to recharge together. Many of the guests fly in via helicopter from the Hewanorra International Airport in the south of the island (which is a seven-minute flight), and land on Jade Mountain’s own private heli-pad. Read more specifics about this resort on our sister website playful coconuts.
With all of these amenities, Jade Mountain firmly falls into the highest end romance resort destination as the place to try this year.
If you are interested in romance adventure travel and want to travel with a kind, fun, sexy community check out Duckling travel and party with the best group anywhere. We want to include you.
We had dinner last week with a group of people wearing an x-rated Minnie Mouse costume, and a Donald the Duck costume that came complete with a feathered appendage. Nobody batted an eye, or did anything more than tweak Minnie’s slightly lopsided ears. The Minnie and Donald in questions were two of over 400 “Fluffernutters” that descended on Hedonism II in Negril
Jamaica
this March. The theme that night was “naughty Disney”, and if we had ever wondered what Snow White would look if she “drifted” that question was forever answered by another woman wondering by.
How do we explain the happy, but uniqueness that is Hedonism II – the legendary Superclub resort? Forget what you’ve heard, Hedonism II is appropriate for your adults-only, or girls getaway vacation with a relaxed, inclusive crowd comfortable in their own skins. Try it, it is the sensuous vacation that lets you adventure at your own speed.
On arguably one of the best beaches in the
Caribbean
, Hedo II is the safest place to be sexually silly on the planet. By safest we mean that you can have a vacation from tame to completely crazy, without anyone exposing you, pressuring you, to do anything outside your comfort level. An atmosphere of tolerance permeates the grounds. Along the spectacular beach at Hedo II is a complete ecosystem of sexual culture. And who doesn’t want to be in the know? At least to watch the antics, and to say you had the opportunity to dip your toe in the water? You can spend a week on the “prude side, adjacent, and in view of Sandals Negril reading a book, drinking the famous and frothy “Hummingbird drinks”, in a bathing suit and wrap. If you stay to yourselves on that end of the beach, you might never see and experience anything more daring than the occasional nudist slipping by before a guard hands them a towel. You can have a vacation free of kids, with great weather and affordable prices and never do anything more risqué than hold hands. As you move down the beach you can go topless (or not), and be slightly more likely to see exposed body parts in various shapes and sizes if you know where to look. But you need not do anything other than watch the turquoise ocean and see the pelicans flying over head if your idea of sexuality is tied up in sitting quietly with your partner. Finally, as you cross onto the nude side (and the sign warns of no photography- or clothes are permitted), you can see or participate in playful conversation with naked people. The mantra of any native Jamaican you meet is to bang fists with you in greetings, is “Respect”. And respect, without a doubt, is the underlying tone of Hedonism II.
Hedonism has had a bad wrap of being nothing but sex, and has been a victim of stories that have become larger than life. It isn’t about single men – the people who have the best time are happily married couples, and single women. We think it is the best place around for couples to reconnect or for women to go to discover her groove. We also think every women should celebrate her divorce, bachelor party, or experience the liberating safety of Hedonism once in her lifetime. Nothing happens that you haven’t invited to happen, and new people (and especially new women) are protected and charmed by a Hedo alumni that have been gathering for 30 plus years.
Such it is with groups like The Fluffernutters. The ‘nutters, like many of the naked travel groups that frequent Hedo II, can be defined as “a travel group that meets bi-annually to drink, sunbath , vacation, and laugh-out loud together. The “fluff’s” makes up x rated songs to popular lyrics in the piano bar every night, plays “capture the flag “ on opposing catamarans – dressed as pirates, and dresses up to giggle at each other. Other groups frequent throughout the year, but we enjoyed hanging around the “fluffs”, who all had hats, t-shirts, and beaded necklaces portraying their names. We’ve described Hedonism in a previous article, as “Tropical summer camp for grown-ups”, and that description still holds true. There are other groups with names like Go Classy, and the Bubbly Bares, so if you are looking for a community who get it with that twisted sense of humor that appeals to positive people who smile at you with an occasional well meaning leer, than you might love the connections you can make at a place like Hedonism II.
Hedonism is the “grand dame” of nude and sensuously tolerant resorts, and had become tired in recent years. This visit however, we saw a number of changes happening that are worth reporting. The first is that Kevin Levee, the General Manager that looked after Hedo II during it’s heyday in the 90’s has returned. He brings along a new Executive Chef, Randie Anderson who trained in
Manhattan
, and was most recently at the Miami Sheraton. We noticed a change in the food from his first day on the job. Without an executive chef for awhile, Hedonism’s food had slipped, but we felt our tummies rumble at the upcoming food choices Randie had proposed in his new menus. Kevin took the top three guest frustrations, lack of towels, lousy disco music, and too few chairs on the nude side, and fixed them immediately. We see his influence in empowering his staff to help guests where ever they can, and the atmosphere at Hedonism II is humming. There is the feeling that hedonism II has been neglected and time, attention and resources are going to be thrown her way.
By Sue McGarvie, and Blaik Spratt, Relationship Therapists, Syndicated Talk Show Hosts, Authors of The Ethical Hedonist radioshrink@rogers.com
When you picture the most romantic place on earth to propose where do you think of? The Eiffel Tower
? Moonlight in Venice? We had heard of some typically quaint but corny marriage proposals that include the videotron at hockey games, or the overdone, “ring-on-the-rose-stem” proposal. As die hard romantics who regularly speak at the bridal shows, we are always interested in smart proposal stories. On a recent trip to Couples Swept Away in Negril, Jamaicawe saw a succinct, but elegant proposal that combined a warm, windswept Caribbeanevening, with a new way to ask for your sweetie’s hand in marriage. For guys, the goal is a memorable, yet idiot-proof proposal that allows her to be
Imagine a perfect evening on vacation away from the stresses of life, where you surprise the object of your affection with a private dinner on the beach. Serenaded by saxophone leading two piece band, you have a five course meal served by an unobtrusive waiter. The smell of hibiscus is in the air. As the fruit and dessert plate gets presented, you lift up the cover and carved in the melon centerpiece are the words “Will you marry me?” Creative, unique, and you don’t have to do anything beyond a quick email and a credit card number in setting it up.
Couples Swept Away is a spectacular all-inclusive resort in the middle of Negril’s famous 7 mile beach, and one of the four Couples resorts in
Jamaica
. They are all adult only resorts, and are known for their emphasis on magical, romantic vacations. Couples is a mixture of wellness and decadence set on one of the best beaches in all the
Caribbean
. Complete with the requisite white sand, turquoise water, hot weather and starry nights.
There is a top notch athletic facility and spa, along with juice and veggy bars for couples wanting to take care of themselves on vacation. Tennis, swimming, squash, water sports, yoga, aerobics, a serious weight-training gym, and healthy snacks strategically placed in case you need to keep your blood sugar up, Couples Swept Away had the most complete fitness and wellness component of any high end adult resort we’ve ever been to.
The resort as a whole is safe, and open minded. The beach is well patrolled, and very clean. The three other Couples locations all have private nude beaches on property- or in the case of the Couples resorts in Ocho Rios – a completely nude island. Couples Swept Away doesn’t have a nude section, but the Negril beach has been known since the 60’s for tolerance to being topless, so smooching with your sweetie under a beach hut would only be looked at with an indulgent smile by the hotel.
The facilities are truly elegant, beautifully maintained, and what is noticeable about this resort is the serious attention to detail. The ownership is local, and on site, and it shows. From the elegant staff clothing designs, to the unique lobby furnishing – it is evident that the staff and management are paying attention to the little things we often see missing in other resorts. The turned down beds, along with Jamaican expressions printed on small cards on the pillow at bedtime we a lovely touch. A full size compliment of liquors in the in-room bar, flowers in the room, a wrap around porch, and special toiletries are a few examples of extras that are of course, all inclusive. A number of the rooms don’t have a television (in keeping with the romantic “get away from it all” theme), but will leave you a selection of reading material and music to help you connect. And with a strict no-tipping policy, you don’t have to worry about money anytime during your vacation.
Having been to a number of resorts in Jamaica, and being used to the happy, smiling people – Jamaicans are some of the most musical and lyrical people on the planet – we met a number at Couples Swept Away that stood out from anything we had seen anywhere. The employees we absolutely delightful to meet. We conversed with a range of staff from the crossing guard to the receptionist to the general manager at Couples Swept Away. All of them genuinely seemed to feel that “they worked for the best resort in all of
Jamaica
.” The staff were empowered to make guests happy, and were rewarded for solving a problem with a guest- even if it took them away from their regular duties. The piano bar is famous, and interactive and becomes the place “where everyone quickly learns your name.”
The other goal at Couples is to turn every visitor into a repeat guest. They consistently rank second (behind Hedonism) for the highest recidivism (return) rates in
Jamaica
. We met people there on this visit who had been to Swept Away over 25 times. As a repeat guest, you get a special shirt, a package of extras at check-in, and an invitation to attend a repeaters dinner with all the staff and management, who make a fuss over you. A separate cocktail party invites the newcomers to a meet and greet, but it is with repeat vacationers, that Couples spends a huge amount of time and attention on.
We had a few experiences that stood out at Couples Swept Away. Many of the other all -inclusives throughout the
Caribbean
have a sameness about them, but this one is truly five star. Two fabulous restaurants (one Continental, and the other Thai), had meals that rivaled the best a la carte restaurants in French St. Martin, and was the best meal we had on holiday this year. A martini bar, lots of different beach foods including a health hut, fabulous burgers and Jamaican jerk chicken, and a rum punch (that will have you singing in no time) fleshed out the other food and beverage highlights. However, like elsewhere in
Jamaica
the music blew us away. The evening dinner band included a tight reggae quartet from
Kingston
that you would have happily paid for. Our favorite moment was at an early morning breakfast buffet at their main restaurant. A duo of acoustic guitarist and cello player strummed up popular songs while we ordered at the smoothie bar. Lincoln the guitar player, smiled and nodded while he played with his cello partner. In very short order most of the restaurant had stopped eating to appreciate the music flowing through these two guys. They were that good. It brought a whole restaurant of people together as we all made eye contact to see if everyone else was as impressed as we were with the live, breakfast music.
Compared to some of the other adult-only resorts we’ve reviewed Couples Swept Away is tame, but they nail their demographic of couples 25-55 who are looking for a safe, upscale romantic vacation. With an emphasis on health, the resort has almost a “clean cut” feel to it -the wholesome side of adult-only vacations. Try as we might (and we did look for faults), we really had no complaints with our stay. All the guests we spoke to raved about it, and we were sad to leave. With a tremendous occupancy rate (Couples Negril, five minutes down the road couldn’t show us a sample room as they were at 100% occupied for the next five weeks) despite difficult economic times. Couple’s guests come primarily from the United States, Canada, Britain, Germanyand Italy
, and were mainly in their 30’s and 40’s. With a 40% return rate, this resort seems almost recession proof, and is a testament to their great service, food, location and facilities. Expect to pay USD $4000 a couple per week (although there are some deals to be had on off weeks online), but everything from catamaran trips and 10 minute beach massages were free. So other than golf (also included) or the full spa services, (the spa was in a beautiful building, and did a brisk business with brides and couples massages) you should have no need to go off property or pay for anything else on your romantic week. Couples Swept Away is the relaxing, romantic, effortless, wonderful
Caribbean
honeymoon vacation (no matter if you are newly-wed, renewing your vows, or just checking in with each other.) It recharges anybody’s relationship.
Update about the new Temptations Los Cabos by Sue McGarvie and Blaik Spratt, sex therapists, and authors of The Ethical Hedonist www.sexwithsue.com
It rained in Los Cabos while we were there early in 2009. We mention this because while rain is not so unusual elsewhere, however in the desert of Los CabosMexico, on the end of the Baja peninsula (with a 1000 more miles of desert to the north) it only rains less than 10 days a year. Everyone apologized for the one afternoon of bad weather, and even at 23 degrees Celsius, we saw local Mexicans bundled up in parkas as we walked down the beach in our bathing suits. The cacti bloomed, plants sprouted, hummingbirds flew, and the staff scurried to take the mattresses inside. Otherwise, you can expect bright, blue skies, along with amazing sunsets and sunrises guaranteed. You need to slather on the sunscreen – the UV rays aren’t to be taken lightly), and expect low to mid 20’s during the winter day (70’s Fahrenheit) and a few degrees cooler and windier at night. The spring, summer and fall temperatures, and brilliant sunny days only go up from there. Los Cabos is an upscale “ Palm Springs type Mexico” destination (as opposed to Cancun, or “Disney Mexico” where the other Temptations resort is located). Los Cabos is where the wealthy and sexy go to play, and the lowest priced real estate advertised is only a mere million USD for a bachelor condo. Temptations Los Cabos is in keeping with this elegant, fashionable holiday with both luxury and playtimes as part of their vision for this particular resort.
Having been huge fans of the Los Cabos Desire resort before it morphed into a Desire Lite” or the new Temptations Los Cabos, (which happened in February of 2009), we weren’t sure how the changes were going to effect this unique resort concept. Desire Resort is a couples-only, clothing-optional, public sexuality accepting, exclusive adult play vacation destination, and runs close to 100% occupancy in their expanding Cancun location. Desire has been Hedonism’s main competitor, only more up-market and without the single men hovering around. Desire, where you can be nude all day (nudity is accepted everywhere but in the restaurants) has changed to Temptations (at the Los Cabos location only) in response to a new behemoth of a hotel being built next door. We watched the construction workers take their breaks gawking at the naked women sunbathing or frolicking in the hot tub just before the Temptations take over. Most of the hot tub participants mooned and waived (we were afraid more than one of the workers might fall off the upper levels of the construction project when one 30 year old beauty did naked yoga). So in order to guarantee the privacy of their nude guests from leering patrons with telescopic cameras, Desire has become Temptations and has toned the nudity and sexuality way down. Compared to Temptations Cancun (read our review), Los Cabos is expected to be a much more up-market saucy escape as opposed to the “anything goes” aspect of Desire. Maybe it should be re-branded as something other than Temptations (Indulge? Sinful?) as this resort will take on a life of its own – a little bit of the original Temptations, a little bit of the previous Desire and become something new entirely. The plan for Temptation Los Cabos is to keep as much of the sensuality of Desire- without the overt sexual play. In Temptations Cancun, (we were there late in the fall of 2008), guests were primarily singles and some couples, mainly under 30. A little older than the typical Spring Break crowd, but singles in their 20’s ruled the pools in Cancun, and were bused out nightly to the hopping clubs on the Cancun strip. It felt like party central for the recently graduated college crowd. Temptations Los Cabos is insisting that it will be almost exclusively couples (with maybe small groups of single women). Desire had a minimum age of 25 posted on their website, and the age before the February 2009 change over to Temptations started from late 20’s, with the bulk of the guests between 30 and 50. Certainly a 60 year old plus couple wouldn’t have been out of place. Most of the bodies were better than average, and a large proportion had been surgically enhanced. The crowd was affluent, well-preserved, and well-groomed. The new crowd at Temptations will probably settle as more of an early 30’s crowd, primarily from the west coast of Canada and the United States It will be interesting if the 30% Latin visitors increase with the new change over from Desire to Temptations.
The hotel bas made an effort to keep the couples only aspect by having only one king size bed available in all of their rooms. This means that you won’t get the hoards of single men that flock to Temptations Cancun as they fill up a quad room (four single beds to a room and all-night drinking parties). Single men certainly change the dynamic of a resort, and have kept many couples from trying Hedonism for the first time. Single women may share a king size bed, but the single men in attendance would need to pay alone for the double occupancy. According to Silvia MacNamara, the Guest Services Manager, the other aspect in Los Cabos that will be changing that doesn’t happen at Temptations Cancun is that they are covering the Jacuzzi lounge, (huge, swim up bar and hot tub) and keeping it clothing optional. Temptations Cancun
has a few whirlpools alongside their pools (and the same temperature as the swimming water). Original resorts – the ownership group of Temptations and Desire are trying hard to keep their market share in the adult only resort destination. For guests lamenting the loss of the Desire concept in Los Cabos, management has made a deal with the neighboring hotel to clear out any potential gawkers for four weeks this year, and six weeks next year to have Desire “let’s get nude again” take over weeks at the lowest occupancy times during the year. These weeks are your chance to re-kindle friendships and be naked in guaranteed great weather once more.
So what’s changed now that it’s Temptations instead of Desire? The Desire “voyeuristic beds are gone” (where you could watch all the sex going on, or indulge in al your exhibitionist fantasies), and will be replaced with more privately screened “cocoons” lounges beside the hot tub. The Jacuzzi is still open to 3 am with a private bartender, and is even more hidden. Expect it to get more than a little flirty later in the evening, with sexy noises coming from those covered lounges, but the relaxed open, sex that happened daily at Desire will be gone. This is very different from the Cancun Temptations, which has you sign a waiver at check in that will have you tossed out if there are any public displays of sexuality. Even as Desire, the guests were respectful of your privacy and space, with less than 30% in the “swinging” or Lifestyle movement. Most of the couples were just hoping for re-connecting romance from their partner, and the opportunity to pick up the sexual charge from their surrounding environment.
However if even the possibility of hearing sex might offend you, then you don’t ever need to go up top to the hot tub. Around the pool has changed to topless only, and while they still have sexy games the activity staff put on, just anticipate that the overall tone will be slightly subdued from the past. The flirty tequila water volleyball will still happen, dirty darts, and sexual trivia will still be engaged mid afternoons around the pool. The activity staff are fun, and good humored (a little too competitive on the volleyball court playing with out of shape tourists who had been drinking), but for the most part they offered lively and fun games as an alternative to those just wanting to bask in the rays and do nothing more strenuous than sit up to give their drink orders. The themed costume nights are dropped in the disco, (no more jungle or cowboy nights) and the playroom has been dismantled. They are also opening the disco up to locals and other resort guests in Los Cabos to come in for an evening of dance. It will be interesting to see if there are any takers in making the disco more vibrant due to outside influence and if there are any curiosity seekers willing to visit from outside the resort. Our big complaint about the resort is how late it is before the evening activities begin. With the hot tub opening at 3 pm, most of the guests make their way up for “happy hour” from 4 to 6 pm (we were pruny, overly heated, and had our fill of the strong drinks within an hour), the hot tub is a great place to socialize, but the pool bar shuts down and everyone doesn’t congregate again until 10 or 10:30 when the karaoke, live entertainment or outside fashion show gets started. Dinner never took longer than an hour, so we ended up back in our rooms after dinner, and most of the time couldn’t re-motivate to go back out after 10 pm. The disco doesn’t get hopping until after midnight, and with such spectacular weather you want to be able to be up with the sun.
The drop in price point from Desire of the posted rate of $300 a night, (there are deals to be had online if you are flexible on your travel weeks) and Temptations is at half of that. This means the menu has been simplified and Temptations is only offering the less costly options of food. Our favorite smoked salmon has been taken off the breakfast menu, and the food went from being good to merely mediocre. The poolside lunch buffet (the only food option during the day) had a daily sameness about it that became very unappetizing after a week. They have also dropped their 24 hour room service menu (now only breakfast is available as room service) although there is food and drink always available somewhere on the premises if you are hungry at 4 am and want to wander the grounds and find it. The resort is incredibly safe not to worry for even late night wanderings- fenced in with a security presence, and they have added extra security given the new night passes available. The nice thing about the location is the easy access to taxis and the town of San Jose del
Cabos.
The facilities are beautiful – immaculately maintained and with loads of hot towels available everywhere. The beauty of the desert landscape and sand dunes leading out into the Pacific Ocean
is every bit as nice as any resort in Los Cabos. There are no water sports and no swimming in the ocean given the lethal undertow and rip tide present. The swimming condition sign always flies black and there is absolutely no swimming in the ocean in front of the resort. There are public beaches down the road however. A real disadvantage if you like to swim in the coolish ocean – but an advantage if you like to meet people as everyone congregates around the heated swimming pool. This central congregation meant it was easier to meet everyone staying in the resort on a first name basis. The beach is great to walk, safe (provided you don’t venture more than ankle deep in the water), and we enjoyed watching the pelicans and other sea birds diving for fish right off the crashing waves. We watched whales breeching a little further offshore. Temptations is a small boutique hotel (150 rooms), and looks especially tiny compared to the mammoth Hilton’s and Riu hotels that grace the hotel strip in the twin cities of Cabos San Lucas and San Jose del Cabos where Temptations is located.
There is talk that Original Resorts (a small, four resort, family owned business, based in Mexico
) is on the prowl for the prefect location for another Desire location. We can hope that now with only one Desire resort, there is a huge market for choice in the sexually charged adult resort business. The occupancy in Los Cabos is expected to increase given the lower price point, and it is still one of the few adult-only vacation options, and one of the few marketing sensuality. The challenge for Los Cabos Temptations in getting their guests numbers up in comparison to Cancun’s location is that Los Cabos can be difficult to get to. With daily flights running only from Dallas/Forth Worth, Phoenix and Los Angeles, the entire mid-west, and northern US and Canadian markets are largely inconvenienced to get to this desert paradise. We took an Air Canada Vacations flight from Toronto that flew once a week, and was $500 more expensive (and three hours longer) than the daily flights direct to Cancun.
Like any new change there were some bugs to be worked out. The resort will have a Desire feel for many months as they implement the complete change to Temptations. They had already geared the staff up for the handover with the new menus even during the Desire days in late 2008. By day four of our visit we were tired of the reduced choices on the menu. The dining alone will keep the age of guests down, though the possibility exists of grabbing a cab and taking in one of the restaurants that are no more than 15 minutes away from Temptations downtown location. There is a shopping center right across the street, and although the area is small, it is worth an afternoon bus ride to see the beauty of the buildings and the starkness of the surrounding desert. This also meant you had less of the “gilded cage” feel, as you could easily walk to new scenery (or to visit the local pub to watch a sports game) and leave the resort if you needed a change of scenery.
It will be interesting to watch how Temptations walks the line between flirty and sex and appeals to that huge middle group of 30 plus couples looking for a sensuous – but safe- adventure that spices up their relationship without leaving a bad taste in your mouth. We felt that the Desire concept was great if you had communicated as a couple about your limits, and were looking for a naked paradise with like-minded people for an escape. We thought Temptations Cancun was best suited for the under 30 single crowd. There is much to be said about vacations that don’t have unsupervised children splashing and spoiling an afternoon at the poolside. Maybe Temptations Los Cabos will be the half way point and be a better choice in adult only vacation that a Sandals or Breezes resort because it offers a sensuality to an open-minded culture looking to be (if only ever-so slightly) naughty.
www.sexwithsue.com, www.schoolofsquirting.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net
We are currently staying at Desire in Los Cabos before it changes into a new Temptations resort (the new review will be posted in a few days). Getting away from the mountain of snow expected this week in Eastern Ontario. In a great jaccuzi room overlooing the volleyball court, with a spectacular view of the sand dunes leading into the picture perfect Pacific Ocean. We were able to get a great view of the wedding taking place at sunset yesterday (congrats to C and J) who along with their parents, said their vows at "the most romantic beach location they could think of".
We asked them what thier parents thought of them geting married at nude, sex resort? C told me that as a couple they wanted their wedding in a "clothing optional spot", and that her family would accept it with love and support. It's long been our motto to "stop apologizing for who we are", but it was heart warming to see unconditional love and a refreshing openness. They are in love, largely monogamous and happy to just to let it all hang out in the most authentic way possible. Love finds a way. So as we write sitting here watching the palm trees blow, we find more and more people who just want to be themselves in a world that dictates what romace should be. Teach the world how to love- that's what Suburban Hedonists seem to be doing.
www.sexwithsue.com, www.solveprematureejaculation.net, www.schoolofsquirting.com