Why you may be avoiding sex and how to fix it!

Despite the belief that most people are even having sex or want to be truth be told that lack of partners and inhibitions about sex often impact sexual behaviour. In the 50’s Alfred Kinsey found that up to 19 percent of adults do not engage in sex. This varies by gender and marriage status, and the upside of marriage and cohabitation is that you get laid more often than the single folks.
But for the people who do not seek out sex what’s going on? If sex is the second most powerful drive why aren’t people trying to hook up?
It’s not that there are so many people who are asexual. Yes, there are some asexual adults out there but in 25 years I’ve not met many. And yes finding partners to get naked with can sometimes be problematic. If you are in a remote location, you missed that class in High School when they explained how to pick up potential partners, you are stuck at home with aging parents and small kids or other logistics can keep you from getting laid.
But for many people sexual, medical issues or anxiety about sex holds us back from having sex. I know clients who are so worried about premature ejaculation that they will not date. Being a “one-minute guy” is so embarrassing that they will not follow up with a sexual invitation because in their minds the interlude will end in disaster. Or the idea that being seen naked in bright light for many women is so terrifying that they slam the door on their own pleasure.
Are you one of the 19% not having sex? Is it because you are held back for some reason?
Is it that you can’t find a partner? Some of the common reasons people are avoidant about searching sex out include:
-Erectile dysfunction
-Chronic medical conditions
-past abuse
-Fear of pregnancy
-fear of sti’s, heart attack, or just germy people
-Chronic pain
-diabetes, obesity
-Personality disorders
-Poor sleep quality
-medications (anti-depressants)
-Shame, guilt
-penis size
-Hormonal issues
-Worry about being too old for sex
-Sexual anorexia – (too much pornography abuse)
It may be time to get some help. I have a $500 plan to guarantee you dates. I can treat body image challenges, sexual anxiety, things like premature ejaculation that leaves you fearful. Let’s talk about how to move you past this place.