The most common issues seen by sex therapists

I’ve often been asked about the typical sex problems I see as a sex therapist. As I’ve also been on radio for over 10 years, I can honestly say without exaggeration that I have spoken to at least 10,000 people about their sex lives. I used to say on air that if one person had a problem, there was a thousand other people with the same issue. Not to imply that one size fits all. Everyone’s got a sexuality that is unique to them. But some of the generalities are the same.
Besides low libido and menopause work, (which Oprah says hits 33% of the population) I see women for inorgasmia (meaning difficulty achieving orgasm/Never achieving orgasm), painful intercourse, and other issues of sexual intimacy. The most common problems for men include premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, libido and sexual addiction. I also see couples for marital difficulties resulting from differing sexual appetites. It’s a Woody Allen skit, He says, “I never have sex, only twice a week.” She says “I always have sex, almost twice a week!”
Desire discrepancy (when the two members of the couple have different levels of desire for sex) is a huge issue for many couples and a middle ground can be found.
Other issues include “How to enhance sexual pleasure and diversity in our sex life”, which can include finding the G spot, learning to orgasm during intercourse, penile enlargement, and all kinds of sexual fetish. Given the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey and questions about BDSM, Female Superiority, pantihose, restraint and other fetishes questions have become more popular. Add new questions and field trips to the sex shops, lists of 50 erotic things to do, date night and sexual intimacy coaching and you have a day in the life of me, your neighborhood sex therapist.
I also see patients all over the world by skype (skype name sue.mcgarvie), and although there sometimes needs to be some cultural sensitivity, many of the problems are universal. I’ve gone into some details about the treatment techniques for many of the specific problems below. Therapy starts with me asking a number of questions (with grace and respect and in absolute confidence). From there I try and offer up suggestions, solutions and ideas for moving forward out of the stuck position you may have found yourself in. I’ve listed treatment solutions for men, women and couples below and on subsequent pages. Sign up for my newsletter and follow my blog and anything new and current in the area of sexual solutions will come your way. You can always send me an email at if you need information specific to you.
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