Testicular torsion. Or when your sack is in an uproar.

When I was a kid we lived in the country, and I had a horse named Scooter. Scooter died suddenly from a horse disorder called colic that has twists up their stomach’s (horses can’t throw up) when they eat too much grain. Apparently it is very painful for horses, and I was understandably very upset when she died.
It turns out that men can get theirr cords all in knot – but in the case of people, it’s their testicles that can suddenly get tangled inside their scrotum. OWWWWW!
I had a patient recently who had this situation.  I have never come across such a case before  (and I live for the new stuff, because after 15 years 10 of which on air, there is little sexually I haven’t encountered.) The only time I’ve ever heard about testicular torsion happening is in the winter when the scrotum is exposed to cold air (usually in very cold air after being all warm and relaxed) so beware the ski trips when you need to race outside to pee.
“When he arises, his scrotum is exposed to the colder room air. If the spermatic cord is twisted while the scrotum is loose, the sudden contraction that results from the abrupt temperature change can trap the testicle in that position. The result is a testicular torsion.”  Apparently it can happen in very cold water or if you go from extreme hot to cold (so careful jumping in icy waters).
The patient in question had already lost a testicle to torsion, (apparently it was nasty) and lives in fear – as a phobia- of anyone touching, bumping, playing or otherwise engaging contact with his remaining nut. It was a problem for his partner as he wouldn’t let her touch his penis for fear of nudging the ball in question.
Not that I’m expecting snow today, but I thought it would be a good time to outline the symptoms of testiculartorsion (it happens infrequently) from my favourite urology site. Keep it in mind if you get your panties in a knot.
Testicular Torsion Symptoms:
Testicular torsion is characterized by excruciating one-sided testicular pain, with sudden swelling. Since the cord structures twist (like the strings of a puppet), the testicle elevates as well. Patients may have nausea and vomiting. Patients may also have abdominal pain. There may be a history of previous testicular pain. Fever may also accompany the testicular pain.
Testicular torsion is seen most frequently in the 12-18-year-old age group, and most cases occur in men under 30 years of age. However, it can occur at any age, including in newborns.
When to Seek Medical Care:
Testicular swelling and pain should be evaluated on an emergent basis. The evaluation is best done in an emergency room, where rapid imaging is available and there is quick access to surgical intervention. There is about a six-hour window for the testicle to be salvaged; surgical treatment within this time frame is associated with a 100% salvage rate for the testicle. After six hours, the salvage rate decreases, and if surgical repair is performed after 24 hours, the testicle is no longer salvageable.
“let your boys hang free… “